“Sure?” I said.
She tipped her head to either side, and considered Jean’s cast as if it were a canvas that needed attacking. “I see that you have several irons in the fire. But I am going to insist you address yet another.” She bent slightly and signed Jean’s cast, adding a little heart with wings and claws. It was kind of cute.
“I can multitask and I have good backup. What do you need, Bertie?”
“I need you to stop the war before the first blood is drawn.”
Pause. “Okay?” I’d been hearing there was a war brewing for months now, so this wasn’t really surprising. “Details?”
“They’ve come together today. At the Starbucks. In the grocery store.”
Since we didn’t have another Starbucks, she didn’t really have to define that for me. “Who? Now?” My thoughts raced. Was Lavius in Ordinary? Had he sent more undead, demon-possessed vampires into town to take us out?
If so, why would they stop at Starbucks? Did demons prefer a frothy latte before battle?
“Flat white, usually,” Bathin said. “Froth makes me bloat.”
I hated that he was reading my mind. “I hate you reading my mind.”
He just smiled because he knew that as soon as I said the words, my hate was gone, leaving cool and nothing behind.
Stupid face.
“How many demons are there?” I asked Bertie as I catalogued what kind of weaponry we’d need to take with us, and whether we needed to lock down the area or evacuate.
“Demons?” Bertie frowned. “No. You misunderstand. I’m wholly unconcerned about bottom-dwellers.”
Bathin coughed but it sounded likeracist, and Bertie ignored him.
“It’s much worse than demons.”
“Vampires?” I asked.
She pressed her lips together, disappointed in my mental abilities.
“How about you just tell me, Bertie so I know what kind of weaponry to pack.”
“It’s the knitters. They’ve declared war. And the crocheters are geared up for the siege.”
Pause.
“What now?”
“The knitters. You know. The K.I.N.K.s and C.O.C.K.s.”
Jean barked out a laugh and set off into a howling giggle fit.
“Uhng…huh?” was the only thing I had to offer.
Ryder coughed, and then laughed, a deep, warm sound that made me want to press myself closer to him so I could wallow in the joy there.
Even Shoe and Hatter chuckled. Roy, just shook his head. “You’re all children.”
Bathin wasn’t laughing, but he intently took in our reactions. He almost looked pleased. Which, okay, I hadn’t known him for even a day yet, but I would have expected him to be sort of into pain and suffering, not a bunch of people laughing over a couple acronyms.
“Delaney,” Bertie scolded. “This is serious.”
“Right. Yes. Serious. Okay. So the knitters, that’s the K.I.N.K.s?”
