And if I weren’t trying to push him away for his own good.
Why was my life so complicated?
I rolled down the window. “Officer,” I said.
“Chief. Nice afternoon.”
“It is. How was the riot?”
“Not as colorful as I’d expected. By the time we got there, Shoe and Hatter had it mostly under control. Myra stayed to help get some statements, mop up the crowd.”
“So you decided to stop by?”
We were still talking into our phones, which wasn’t necessary since we were just inches away from each other.
“I decided to find out why you’re driving around town telling people you want to kill yourself.”
And that, that was not joy, not love, not warmth.
That was pain.
I pulled my phone away from my face, and thumbed it off. Then I opened the door.
Ryder stepped back and I stepped right up into his space, my fingers gently on his hips, then, when he lifted his arms opening room for me, my arms wrapped around his waist so that I could press myself to him, tight, fitting us as if we had always belonged. As if he could be the heart that beat for the both of us.
“Talk to me, Laney. Tell me what you’re doing. Explain…explain it. Because I can’t understand this. Can’t understand what you’re thinking.”
His mouth was pressed to my temple, and I could feel the softness of his lips, the scratch of his stubble as he spoke, so close to me, as if he could bury his words, his strength, his worry, deep beneath my skin.
As if he were trying to reach me.
“It’s not as bad as it sounds. It’s a way to take Lavius down without risking him getting his hands on the book. It’s a way that will kill him. A way that he won’t expect.”
“By killing you?”
“Only a little.”
His hand was pressed against my back, his thumb rubbing a slow arc.
“How’d you figure this out?”
“You are going to hate it.”
“Bathin?”
I nodded.
We were quiet, and I counted his breaths, evenly spaced between the beats of his heart.
“Tell me.”
“It’s a vampire thing. An Achilles’ heel. He only bit me once, so I’m not dead and I’m not turned. That in between state gives us an opening to kill him without risking the book.”
“But we’d risk you.”
I didn’t answer because I didn’t have to.
“How do we do it?” he asked. “Talk me through.”
