Henry cleared his throat, “I know,” he said, “and believe me when I say that this is the hardest one to tell,” his voice shook.
Oh no, oh no. I pulled my hands away from his as my heart jumped down into the depths of my stomach, but I felt it pounding throughout my whole body. My hands and lips were shaking as I reached for another wine. Something to soothe or numb everything that was going on inside of me. He didn’t need to say anything more. He had said it in those very words,This is the hardest one to tell.
“It was the AI that alerted me about you and Dylan, the conversation that you had, the things that he didn’t know the whole truth of but tried to tell you. I’m sorry, I know that it seems like an invasion of privacy. But I created the AI for security purposes, to alert me, or whoever else is in charge of the building at the time, if they see anything going on that is out of the norm, around the building. And it was Ruth who thought that the conversation with Dylan was out of the norm. It was never meant to end like this. Not at all. But it was just over that night, that I found the blonde, or Aria …”
My whole body was shaking now as I wiggled my chair back from him. Was he serious, was he using the very excuse that because a stalker had invaded his property, one that he had managed to kill, to completely take their life away from them… just because that was fresh in his mind, then that was why it was okay to do it to Dylan?
Henry didn’t try to move forward, to hold me still, to reach out to me, to grab me. Instead, he paused, keeping me held in nothing but his gaze. He was now crying again, begging for forgiveness. Waiting for my acceptance. I thought that Icould forgive him, Henry was too much to lose. But this was something else. Any desire I had to comfort him swirled into a pool of nausea at the depths of my stomach. Coming to terms with the words he spoke I wasn’t too sure if I was going to vomit of faint.
“I got up before you that morning to check on the grounds. This was just after the stalker, and I wanted to make sure that everything was safe. That was when I was given the information about you and Dylan. What I should have done in that moment was wait. I should have waited until you got up, I should have waited for you to tell me. But once again, I just saw red. I stormed towards Dylan’s room, and even though I was angry I really did just want it to be a conversation. I confronted him, and well, he did the same thing to me. I tried to keep everything hidden from all my staff, but Dylan had obviously seen too much. He knew that the women that visited on their trip just seemed to disappear. He also knew that the woman that I bought here did as well. I had made up the story both times that they had gone home early, and he had never thought to question me. No one ever did. But Dylan was smart, he knew that he hadn’t seen anyone leave the island. Although he didn’t know the whole truth, he had kept all of my half secrets within him until now. Until he saw you and was obviously scared that I would do the same thing. That’s why I had to do what I did, Molly,” he said finally leaning towards me again. He kept hold of my gaze and every part of me wanted to look away as I trembled. But as soon as I lost his gaze, I knew mytears would flow and any flicker of emotion from me, was something that I did not want to give him.
“I couldn’t have anyone else knowing my secrets. Not just that, it was so obvious that he was in love with you. I only wanted you to know my secrets. You and Jackie, but I know that there will be many more between us. After how he spoke, I couldn’t trust him Molly, I just couldn’t. I know that he was a big part of your past, but he was just that… in your past and he can stay there now. It is us that is meant to move forward together into the future.”
“Where is he? And I don’t mean the AI version of him. Where is Dylan? Where is his body?”
“You told me, when you were underwater that you thought that you saw another cement statue, falling down in the water. But you weren’t sure because it was right when you lost consciousness.”
Oh fuck, oh fuck… no, no, no, I did not want this to be true. He had completely gaslit me. He had told me that everything that I saw wasn’t real….
“That was not meant to happen at that time. In fact, I can’t believe that Jackie did it there still, when she obviously knew that the boat was here. Anyway, we had talked about it since, and she really didn’t mean anything bad by it. She thought that it was a good opportunity in fact, as she thought that I was coming clean to you about everything that I am now.”
“Get to the fucking point,” I said, between gritted teeth. I wanted to pull away from him, I wanted to curl my hands upinto fists and I wanted to fight. There was a whole whirlpool of emotions completely flooding my body right now, and in this very moment it was the rage that was really taking over.
“What you thought you saw was real, Molly. I’m sorry, I really am. But I do believe that this is for the best, and I understand if you don’t see that right now. There will come a time when you do. I’m almost certain of it. But Dylan’s body has now become a feature inside of the statue that you saw yesterday. We can go down there to see him if you like. If you feel like you need to say your goodbyes.”
No, I didn’t want to say my goodbyes. I did not want to say goodbye to my ex, whom I hadn’t seen in ten years and then randomly bumped into him on my new boyfriend’s private island, which then led to his death. I wasn’t sad for myself. I was sad for his family--his parents, his sister. His family had practically become mine when I was a teenager, and now they will never see their son or brother again. Did they even know that he was working here? Would they be looking for him?
I just sat there frozen, my eyes locked on Henry as he smiled back at me. But I wasn’t really looking at him. I was lost somewhere I didn’t even know anymore. It was like every single emotion that I felt all at once, had completely burned out inside of me. I felt lifeless, numb. No love, no fear, no anger. I felt like I couldn’t even move. But this feeling of absolute nothingness for me in this moment was temporary, for Ruth and Dylan it was forever,
“Molly, Molly.”
I was staring directly at Henry and didn’t realize that he had been calling my name. He had let go of my hand and was now waving his arms around in front of me, pulling me out of my trance. “Molly,” he said again, this time louder as I finally gasped, shaking my head. But still I felt nothing.
“Sorry,” I muttered. His eyes were glued on me, and after everything that he had just openly told me his wide smile, his deep dimples took over his face. The ones I loved so much, no, the ones I still did love. I had to love, didn’t I? How did you fall out of love with someone so quickly like that? I guess finding out that all along they were a murderer really would have done the trick for that.
“That is my complete truth, Molly, that is everything that I have been hiding from you. This is who I am.”
I didn’t move, I didn’t speak, I just sat still as the statues he held underwater, completely mute. What was I supposed to say in this moment, what did he want from me. I hoped that it would be him that would break the silence. But he just sat there, almost as still as me, locked in our vortex, waiting for me.
“Is it who you are? Or is it who you were?” I said.
He leaned back, clearing his throat as his eyes gazed up into the right corner of his brain. “Not too long ago, I would have told you that the answer was the latter. That was who I was. And that it would never be a part of me again. But if I did say that, then it would have been a lie. Because the thing that I have come to realize now is that this very side of me, although itbegan as destructive, a side I once feared, is one I now welcome. This very side is who I am. It’s what makes me different from anyone else. It’s what has given me the very ability to have everything I want around me right now. Everything that I can create and give back to the world. And now, it’s not until I set my eyes on you, that really, I have learned to love this side of myself. I couldn’t love it, until I learned what it meant to fall completely in love with someone else. No one will fight to the literal death for your safety, your wellbeing, to eliminate any of your past so that you can walk forward so confidently towards the future that you deserve. The moment that I first met you, Molly, when you spoke about all the things that you wanted to do and what you wanted to change. All I wanted to do was to give everything to you and that is what I have done and what I will continue to do. I wanted to give you the full bachelor experience, I wanted to help your job situation, I wanted to and will continue to do everything in my power to give you the best god damn life that you deserve, in exchange for purely just existing by my side. I don’t ever want to imagine a life without you in it,” he said as he reached for my hands, and stood up out of his seat, pulling me up to stand.
“Which really brings me to the very reason that I bought you out here today, now that you know who I am completely.” Henry turned his back, still holding tight onto my left hand as he dragged me away from the table and pulled me out to the middle of the boat. He placed his hands on either side of my face as we stood at the end of the boat, in the middle of theocean surrounded by bouquets of roses. He pushed his lips against mine, but I was still numb, still in shock, still unsure what the hell was going on. My lips were limp as he pulled away, letting go of my hands, he reached into his pocket. No. He wasn’t. Was he? Was this? Oh God.
Henry took a step back away from me, dropping to one knee as he held out a small gold box.
“Will you marry me?”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Istood frozen, staring down at Henry, at the open box, at the largest oval clean cut diamond that I had ever seen in my life. If he had asked me this very question this morning, if he had pulled out this very ring in my loved-up state, there would have been no hesitation.
But now, as I took in the reality of my surroundings, I thought it was a joke. It was like Henry, this whole weekend, this elaborate story that he had just told me had all been nothing but a big joke. Someone was hiding somewhere in this boat ready to pop out and embarrass me, to see how far that I would go, for love. For Henry, for the full life that I had already pictured us together with and the very one that he was offering me right now.
Henry’s lips were moving but the world around me had fallen silent. I wanted to step back away from him, not into him. But my feet wouldn’t move, I felt myself begin to sway.
“A drink,” I finally forced the words out of my mouth, “I need a drink.” The man that I thought was the man of mydreams was standing in front of me with the most divine piece of jewelry I had ever seen in my life. This was far from how I ever pictured the moment that a man would be kneeling down in front of me, holding something incredibly shiny and the first words that came out of my mouth was to ask for a drink.
