“No, Henry is not like the men that we are talking about. There are good ones out there and Henry is hope that there are more of them out there,” said Lotte.
“Naww,” Raven said sarcastically, reaching out and patting Henry on the back. “Well, thanks for giving that hope to all of us, Henry,” she said. “But back to your cheating ex…” Raven returned her attention back to Lotte.
“He was cheating on me for our whole two-year relationship with prostitutes, and I found out through an app that he accidentally opened on his phone, whilst I was looking,” said Lotte very matter-of-factly, confidently owning that the cheating trauma was now a part of her life story. Raven’s jawdropped open, but no words came out. It was the first time all night anything had left her silent.
I watched Henry grimace and clench his jaw as Lotte told the story I was sure that he had already heard. I wondered how close they really were. Lotte said they had been best friends since high school and I wondered if this was one of the boy loves girl, but girl wants to keep boy as a friend, even though boy would still hold onto hope that one day that would all change type of scenarios. But that couldn’t be the truth, because if it was, why was he staring at me so intently?
My attention was still on Lotte, but I could see Henry from the corner of my eye, his energy piercing into me. Without thinking I gazed over to him, our eyes locked. No, not just our eyes, but our whole bodies. God, what was in this drink? Why was I feeling like this? I couldn’t look away if I tried. I was locked in his energy, his eyes staring into more of me that met the surface. I knew nothing about this guy. He was a good friend of Lotte’s, and he decided to come and meet us out for a drink shortly after the three of us got rejected from the very last interview of what was going to be our way onto “The Bachelor.” Henry was quiet but he was intelligent. And the only reason that I knew that was from the brief comments that he added between the girl chatter.
“What about you, Molly? Why did you decide to apply for ‘The Bachelor?’” he said, asking me directly, taking me out of the cheating conversation that Raven and Lotte were now deep in.
I let out a nervous laugh. Why did I apply? Why was I there? What the hell was I doing here now? “I um, I don’t know if I have a clear intentional answer for that,” I said. God, I sounded stupid, but it was the truth.
“What? You didn’t apply to find love?” he smirked as he bit his bottom lip, keeping his eyes on me, not blinking. And as much as I wanted to look away, I couldn’t. He was being a smart ass, but I couldn’t help but laugh.
“No, I can’t say that my intention was to find love. Although I was open to the possibility of that happening….” I was a hopeless romantic and I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise. The idea of meeting your one and only in the most unlikely of circumstances, like on a reality television show where you’re fighting against thirty other women to get the attention of one man, and somehow, he chooses you. Well yes, of course I had that dream, and I didn’t know a single woman on the planet who deep down wouldn’t want to be chosen as the one who was a cut above the rest. “I can’t say that I was expecting that, or that it was my main intention, I mean with my dating history, getting a rose after the second date, I knew was always going to be a challenge for me. Half the time I can’t get a man to even arrive at the first date on time and I’m guessing it’s because he is too busy swiping or looking for other options before he has even reached the bar.” I was joking but at the same time, dating in New York was hopeless.
Henry cracked a smile, but he didn’t laugh. “A woman as beautiful as you, I really do find that hard to believe. But if love was the by product, then what was the real reason?”
“The real reason was I saw the advertisement after scrolling through my phone late one night having a couple of wines. I clicked on the advertisement, and, well, the next thing I knew I woke up early the next morning to a producer calling me and here we are,” I said. Henry didn’t say a word as he kept his eyes on me, biting the inside of his cheeks to stop the smile from taking over his face. I sipped on my wine, knowing full well I had already had enough. But when I was this far deep, I wasn’t going to stop now.
“To be honest, I applied because I am currently bored to death of my life. I moved to Brooklyn a couple of years ago and I still haven’t been able to make any quality friends. The job that I once loved is uninteresting. I hate the way that my boss treats me, and the clients that we are attracting are just awful. I’m not learning anything, and I’ve lost my passion. Not to mention my dating life has been unsuccessful. When I saw the advertisement for ‘The Bachelor,’ I thought what the hell. This could be the very thing that could change it all. It could give me three weeks off work, I’d be living with thirty other single girls so I would no doubt make some friends and well, the dating thing. It was really going to be a win-win situation. Well, that was until I didn’t actually make it through to the final stage… so I guess that part fell through,” I sighed. Talking through what had become my life plan made me realize how completely delusional I had become. The plan to make changes to my life depended on whether I got on a reality television show.
“I think that makes sense,” said Henry, but I rolled my eyes.
“Really? Because saying it all out loud makes me feel really stupid.”
He shrugged. “Well, I think that you got something out of it,” he said as his eyes drifted over to Raven and Lotte. “Friends?”
That brought a smile to my face, I can’t say that I had ever been in a situation like this one before. One, I had never applied for a reality television show before. Two, I had never been kicked out of an interview at the same time as two other really awesome girls, girls that were fun, girls that got me, girls that I ended up going to a drink with just after and a couple of hours later here we all were. Drunk, having the best first date that I had ever been on. A “new friends” first date, and on that I hoped would end in more than a one-night stand.
“Yeah, it did,” I sighed.
“I think that putting yourself out there, taking part of a random experience has really paid off then,” said Henry, “you’ve already gained one thing that you wanted, even if it didn’t exactly end up exactly as you had planned. I guess now we just have to sort out the other two things,” he said. Was I really that drunk, or did he actually say “we?” We? We didn’t have to sort anything out. This was my problem and my life; thiswas something that I would have to figure out on my own, handsome Henry. “What is it that you do for work?”
“I’m a business coach, fell into this field from being young and having no clue as to what to do with my life so I started as a receptionist at an accounting firm and they liked me so much, I worked my way up, last year I finished my MBA.”
Henry’s eyes widened in shock, and I don’t know if it was because he just simply wasn’t expecting those words to come out of my mouth, or in the short time that we had to get to know each other he had classed me as dumb. Either way, I ignored his look and continued, “…and look where it has lead me, right here, unfulfilled and bored as hell with my life.”
“And what is it that you really want? What’s making you feel that way? If I could magically wave a wand and give you anything to fix those feelings right now, what would it be?” he said, still keeping his eyes on me.
I wished he would just divert his gaze for a second, maybe it would give me a moment to breathe, to feel like I could turn away from whatever this was the two of us were locked in. And the way he spoke to me, it felt like I was locked in a trance with him. A trance of truth that I couldn’t hold back from.
I bit my lips shut because I didn’t want to give away the look that would have taken over my face, exposing the thoughts of where my mind ran to. I knew exactly what this man could do right now, to forget about everything for a moment in time. The momentary high that he could flood my body with if he just inched a little bit closer and whispered in my ear where hewould really rather take me. Surely, he felt the energy surging between us too.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I do love business, and I love helping people. I just think that I need to find somewhere new to be able to do that. But right now, honestly, I just need to have fun and take a holiday,” I said leaning back in my chair. “You know, have fun, drink some wine and just switch off from everything around me for a little bit. That sounds like my idea of heaven right now. I guess that’s what this whole experience was going to be to me as well, a free holiday.” I laughed at myself again, drinking down the last of my wine.
Henry nodded, a small smile escaping his lips, but he didn’t say anything. The two of us just sat looking at each other in the middle of the crowded rowdy bar, but it felt like it was just the two of us sitting in silence. Like I was in my own little bubble with this incredibly sexy stranger and the world was just moving around us.
“Anyway, I’ve just told you everything that there is possibly to know about me, and I don’t know too much about you, other than your name and that you’re one of Lotte’s best friends so, what about you, Henry? What’s your deepest darkest secret? How are you feeling about your life right now?”
“Everything that there’s possibly to know?” he chuckled, “I think that you might be selling yourself short there, Molly. I’m sure there’s a hell of a lot more to know about you than the very brief parts that you’ve told me,” he said, leaning across the table. I watched his mouth move slowly with every word, lipsstill parted, his tongue rested on the top of his mouth and for a second, I forgot everything that we had been talking about. All I could think about right now was how his lips tasted.
“How do I feel about life?” he said, breaking the short silence between us. “Now that’s a great question. So much better than what do you do? You’re thought-provoking, Miss Molly. I like that. I don’t know how you didn’t get cast today. I think that quality is exactly what a show like ‘The Bachelor’ needs.” he said. He was a bachelor, is that what he needed? Me to fill his mind, while he filled me. I shook my head out of my thoughts,calm yourself down, Molly.
This was another one of my problems, and probably one of the main reasons as to why I couldn’t hold down a date, I gave myself away so quickly. I had a sex drive that was insatiable. I couldn’t help myself. I loved the thrill of getting to know someone, sitting across the table from someone wondering exactly how their tongue would taste or how it would feel on all of my lips. I knew I had a problem, not that I felt comfortable with calling it a problem. What was wrong with loving the thrill of sexual tension and the moments that happened after? This was one of the greatest highs of life and totally natural. In fact, it was one of the most natural things that we could do as humans. A man wouldn’t ridicule himself for his desires so why should I?
“But how do I feel about life…” he said again slowly. “It’s amazing, I feel very privileged to be living this life that I have now. But at the same time, I could say that there are definitely some things missing….”
