Chapter 1 — Her
‘How do you feel about that, Emma?’
Oh shit.I swivelled around in my chair, sitting up tall, while everyone around the boardroom table glared at me. Their eyes smiled, but their lips were closed and stiff.
‘Um, yep. I think that’s a great idea,’ I said looking up at Adam. His brow narrowed towards me, I flashed him a toothy grin, with a hint of ‘fuck you’ hidden in my clenched jaw
‘Huh, well you can be the first to show us your results in next week’s meeting then,’ he said, pursing his lips and rolling his eyes. If there was anything I had learned in the past five years of working here, I was safe in any meeting I had zoned out of if I answered with,yes, great ideaorit’s all about balance.
‘Perfect. Can’t wait,’ I said, not leaving his gaze or dropping my smile
‘Okay, guys, get back to it,’ said Adam. Everyone in the room stood up at once, I watched them line up at the doorway as one by one they rushed back to their cubicles. I slowly cued at the end of the line, wondering what the daily hurry was for to stare mindlessly at their computers all day. I strolled over to my office door, leaving it ajar and slumping down behind my seat.
I heard a slight knock on the door and before I could answer, Jack walked in, dropping a notepad onto my desk.
‘I thought you might need these notes,’ he said.
‘Thanks, Jack.’ I sighed, I could always count on him, my right-hand man, my best friend.
‘Are you okay? You seem a little out of it today. Actually, you’ve been a little out of it this week. Are you sleeping well?’ he said, his forehead creased, and his eyes trying to read behind mine.
‘My sleep is fine. I’m okay,’ I said, sitting up out of my slump, forcing a smile. ‘But thank you, for your concern.’
‘Are you sure? Just with the break-up and everything.’ His words slowed, and his eyes brushed me up and down. ‘You know, you haven’t really talked about it much, you seem even more absent at work lately, I don’t know, I’m just worried Em, I care,’ he said, his voice softened.
‘Jack, it’s been two months, I’m fine. I guess, I think I just need a holiday to take some time off maybe, you know.’
His eyes widened and his jaw dropped open, letting out a giggle. ‘You? Take a holiday? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you have a break or do anything fun, in fact.’ He laughed, ‘I mean that’s great. I think you should take a holiday. No one gets to your position at twenty-four without working your ass off. It’s about bloody time you had one, I just don’t think you know how to take one.’
‘Emma,’ Adam called out, poking his head through the door, ‘the next quarter’s calendar is out. Can you please come and review it with me in a second?’ he said, slamming the door shut behind him before I could reply. I sighed looking down at the time on my computer. It wasone p.m.
‘Forget a holiday, I can’t even take lunch,’ I said, sinking deeper into my chair, looking around the enclosed four white walls of my office. I can’t believe I had wanted so badly to be here. In a tiny concrete room with a comfortable salary and gold badge from a society that deemed me successful to the fellow members of my small hometown.
‘Maybe you just need some fun. Come to my gig tonight?’ said Jack.
‘I think you already know my answer,’ I said.
‘Oh, come on, don’t be like that. I think that you need a night out. Plus, I’m supporting a pretty big name tonight,’ he said, smiling, blinking his eyes at me, hoping for the positive reaction to side hustle that I only supported from a distance.
‘Clubbing is not my scene,’ I said bluntly, I turned towards my computer, flicking through my emails.
He stood emotionless, his eyes flickering me up and downlike I was sitting in a therapist’s office, trying to figure out what to diagnose me with. Was I stupid? Closed off? Or just a downright bore. Then he shrugged and turned towards the door.
‘Okay,’ I blurted out, just as he grabbed the door handle. ‘I think it’s probably about time I watched you play.’
‘What? Are you serious? Hell yeah, it’s going to be such a fun night! Meet me there at ten,’ he said, closing the door behind him, before I could change my mind.
Ten p.m.? Fuck. I’d have to fit in a nap somewhere after work to be able to make it to ten.
I stood staring in the mirror, adjusting my white denim skirt around my hips. I had paired it with a black off-the-shoulder bodysuit and some black strappy flats. I wasn’t much of a fashionista. I found myself most comfortable when I was wearing my Lululemon yoga pants paired with some Nikes and make-up free skin as soon as I was out of my black office attire. I was plain. But I was me, and I liked me. Tonight, I had gone all out. Sprucing myself up. Making myself feel a little special. I powdered my face with foundation and bronzer and lacquered my lashes with mascara. I had let my long, slightly waving brown hair fly free from its usual rubber band bun and fall gracefully around my shoulders. I poured myself a glass of rosé, sipping it slowly as I danced around my room singing to the lyrics of old school Christina’s ‘Come on over baby’ when I heard the Uber beep outside. I turned off my mini speaker, grabbed my black handbag, and ran down the stairs to meet the driver. I opened the back door to the white sedan and made myself comfortable, stretching out my legs over to the empty back seats. ‘To DKX please,’ I said to the driver. He was an old man, grey beard, huge tum that hit the steering wheel. He was wearing a hat straight out of the 1920s, Thomas Shelby style.
‘In for a big night, dear?’ he asked as he drove me towards the club.
‘I don’t imagine it will be too big. I am just supporting a friend,’ I said as he pulled up on the street of the club. It was only a short drive, but it wasn’t the warmest night, and I didn’t really feel like walking.
‘Have fun, dear,’ the old man said as I handed him his money, jumping out of the car at the same time. ‘Make sure you get yourself home safe tonight too.’
I flashed him a closed-lipped smile.
