I keep almost believing he’s the right man for me, but then reality sneaks in and shows me the truth. I won’t force someone to be with me to save me. I decided that already. It’s not going to change. But I hate that he lied to me about why he took me out. He should at least have the balls to be honest with me about things.
These looping thoughts aren’t doing me any good. I should go to bed. But how can I sleep with these things on my mind?
Sighing, I stand up and walk quietly down to our bedroom. Yulian is in bed. The lights are off. It’s quiet in here. But when I walk in, he reaches out, giving me a fright, and flicks the bedside light on.
“Are you okay, kitten?” he asks gently. I’m standing at the foot of the bed, my eyes on him, my heart racing.
I didn’t intend to confront him tonight. But seeing as he’s asked, I decideIshould be honest.
“I’m really mad at you,” I huff.
“You are?” he asks, surprised, sitting up to face me.
“I don’t want your pity, Yulian. I don’t need anyone feeling sorry for me. And next time you have bad news to give me, just give it to me. You don’t need to treat me like some delicate thing that needs to be told things carefully. There was no reason for the whole dinner charade to soften the blow of the news from my brother. It was over the top, and it makes me feel like you think I’m weak.” There. I said it.
I fold my arms across my chest, hugging myself, biting my lower lip.
Yulian climbs out of bed and walks to the end of it to wrap his arms around me. I keep mine folded, protecting myself, still biting my lip.
“Katerina, I think many things of you. But weak? Not a chance. I didn’t take you out to dinner to soften anything. I took you out to celebrate. I took out because I love spending time with you,” he says, his eyes locked with mine.
“But. You feel sorry for me. I mean, that’s why you’re offering to marry me, to save me from this mess. I don’t want you to treat me—”
Yulian starts laughing. A loud, genuine, hearty rumble that vibrates against me.
I scrunch my nose and glare at him.
“Katerina, kitten, little princess—Iwant to marry you.For real. There is no agenda there. No hidden meaning behind those words. I want to marry you. You are the perfect woman for me. Your brother and his bullshit can go to hell. Damn him andthe trouble he’s causing, because I know, without a doubt, that I can treat you better than any man he chooses for you. I can take care of you, Katerina. I can make you so happy.”
The shock shoots through me like a blade.
“Are you serious?” I stammer, stepping back slightly, stunned by his confession.
“I thought you knew how I felt. I know I didn’t tell you so bluntly before, but I was trying to give you the space to make up your own mind about things. Your freedom is important to you, I understand that, and I won’t get in the way of you deciding for yourself. But, Katerina, I am obsessed with you. Completely and utterly obsessed. You are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever met, inside and out. A brilliant mind, a brilliant heart, and a beautiful soul. You are everything I could ever dream of.”
“This is…” I stammer, trying to find the words. “This is…. “
“A lot?” he chuckles.
I nod, smiling, relieved that he understands. That he can still smile at me even though I’m not leaping into his arms after his confession. Yulian pulls me close again and hugs me. He whispers in my ear.
“I know it’s a lot. And nothing’s changed. Just because I told you all of that doesn’t mean I’m now going to force an answer out of you. When you’re ready, I will be here. I told you I’d wait for you, Katerina. No matter how long you need. I’m waiting for you.”
“Thank you, Yulian,” I murmur quietly. I’m completely overwhelmed by his truth.
I can’t believe that’s how he felt this whole time, and I was holding back because I didn’t want him to make sacrifices for me.
What does all of this mean now?
How do I face my brother now?
My heart is running wild in my chest, and the choices I have to make just go so much more intense.
Chapter 19 - Yulian
It’s never easy, bearing your soul in such a vulnerable way and then having to stand back and wait. Wait for her answer. Wait for her to turn me down. And the worst part is that I have no idea how long I’ll need to wait. There is no deadline on this. I’ve given her all the time she needs to make the best choice for herself.
It’s the right way to do it, but dammit, I’m going insane here.
