I rolled my eyes, even though it shot pain through my face. “And when my brothers find out what you’ve done to me. Dimitri will leave retirement.”
His face paled for a moment, and he turned away from me to begin pacing. “They won’t even find out it was me.”
I laughed, and pain shot through my ribs. “Do you really believe that? Do you know how much money my family has? Do you really know who you’re messing with? You made a deal with Poppy’s brothers for a reason.”
He clenched his jaw as he looked at me. “Her father struck gold in Mexico. Drugs, women, weapons. After Mr. Fairchild was killed, the brothers only grew more creative. I wanted a cut.”
“Why wouldDonovan Maddenwant a cut of what they have? Don’t you have enough money?”
He reared back, as if I were in the position to hurt him. “There is no such thing as enough money. There will never be enough.”
I spat blood onto the concrete between us, the metallic taste coating my tongue. “That’s your problem, Donovan. You’re a small man pretending you’re not. Men like you will drown themselves in greed before anyone needs to kill you.”
His eyes narrowed. “Funny, coming from someone currently hanging like a slaughtered pig.”
I chuckled, despite myself. “I’ll die knowing I had her first.”
That was enough to do him in. He yanked a knife from his pocket and rushed toward me.
“She’smine,” he snapped. “Everything she is—her future, her name, her body—belongs to me.”
My vision blurred, not from the pain but from rage. “She will never belong to you. Not even if she married you a thousand times over.”
His jaw clenched so hard I thought his teeth might crack. A vein pulsed in his forehead as he held the knife between us.
He stepped in, grabbed a fistful of my hair, and yanked my head back brutally. Pain shot down my spine.
“Let me make something clear, Cristof,” he snarled inches from my face. His breath smelled like mint and cigars. “I am not jealous of you. I am simply eliminating a problem.”
I smiled. “I still had her first. Everything. Her body, her love, her laughter. Kill me, and I know she’ll never love you. Kill me, and they’ll come for you. You will never be safe. There is no cave, corner, or shadow you’ll be able to hide in.”
Chapter Fifty-One
Poppy
Twenty-four hours and Benson,whoever that was, still hadn’t located Ivan. Twenty-four hours and I didn’t know what to do. In that full day, all I could do was think about everything I’d done wrong. How I should have tried to talk to him. How I should have tried to figure things out. He was gone, and it was all my fault. He was going to die, and I was going to have the guilt eat me alive for the rest of my life. At least I knew that when I went to lay with Donovan Madden on our wedding night, I would slit his throat. I’d never killed anyone before, and I certainly hadn’t thought about it, but as I lay awake thinking about whether Ivan was dumped somewhere, I knew I could do it to avenge him.
Because no matter what happened with my father. No matter what he did, I loved him. God, I loved him more than I thought possible. I’d never experienced anything that hurtso badly.
I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep. I just stared down at my phone, wishing and praying that this elusive Benson fellow would call me, text me, or anything. Don stayed on the couch, staring out the massive windows that took up the back wall. He was like a statue; he didn’t move. He asked me several times to go over everything Donovan said to me. I replayed the conversation over and over in my head. I couldn’t think of anything else because all of this was my fault.
I should have been more careful. I should have tried harder to not push him away. I should have done more. My feelings were more than valid, but I should have let him explain. I should have heard him out, but instead, I’d locked myself away.
I laid my head down on my folded arms on the kitchen counter and replayed every moment because what if I never got another? What if I couldn’t be angry with him again? What if I couldn’t see him again? I would have to marry Donovan Madden no matter what, but the only thing that would have kept me going was knowing Ivan was out there somewhere, and he could be living a happy life. Now? The thought of living in a world without Ivan Cristof was unbearable. Unthinkable. Unimaginable.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to myself. “Ivan, I’m so sorry.”
Because the worst part wasn’t that he was gone. The worst part was that for the first time in my life, I knew what love felt like. And I’d only gotten to feel it for seconds.
Seconds.
But it was enough to damn me.
It was enough to break me. It was enough to tear me open and leave me raw, knowing I would never know it ever again. If Ivan was gone… there was no hope.
Alexei was the first to burst through the front door. His mother jumped from the couch and immediately rushed to his side. “Alexei! You could have waited until morning.”
He brushed his lips over her cheek in greeting before marching over to Don. “I wouldn’t dare wait until morning.”
