Ivan’s eyes flicked to her sharply and with warning. “Jane.”
Her voice cracked. “I can’t?—”
“Jane,” Ivan said again, firmer this time, but it wasn’t anger. It was pleading. “Please.”
My stomach was no longer in the car with us. It had fallen out as soon as my father was mentioned and was left behind. The SUV slowed as we approached Emeline Cristof’s building. There were already four men waiting outside to escort us in.
“It’s better if we do this upstairs.”
***
Everything felt wrong. The elevator ride was silent except for Jane’s shaky breaths and the low hum of the machinerypulling us upward. Ivan didn’t look at me again—not once—and that scared me more than anything. His shoulders were rigid, his jaw locked hard enough to crack teeth, and the dread rolling off of him had my skin buzzing.
When the doors slid open, the warm light of Emeline Cristof’s penthouse didn’t soothe a single nerve in my body. It felt foreign now.
“Jane,” I said softly.
She flinched like I’d shouted.
My heart cracked. “Sweetheart?—”
“Don’t,” she whispered, voice splintering as she stepped farther away, putting the kitchen island between us like a shield. “Please don’t ask me anything yet.”
Ivan raked both hands through his hair and exhaled a ragged breath, pacing once before stopping dead center in the living room.
His eyes lifted to mine, and I thought they’d been bad in the car. They were worse now. They were haunted and empty.
“Poppy,” he said quietly, “you need to sit down.”
I shook my head immediately. “No. No, tell me now. Someone tell me what’s going on.”
He nodded and looked down at his shoes. “Poppy. I killed your father.”
It was like the floor fell out from beneath my feet. I grappled with the counter to stay upright. Ivan stalked closer, and I somehow managed to stay standing, even if the room was rapidly spinning. I could hear Jane crying from somewhere in the room, but I couldn’t findit in myself to find her and comfort her. She’d obviously known. She’d found out on her own. Ivan grasped my elbow to help steady me, but I yanked away from him as if his touch burned.
Hell, it did burn.
“You’re lying,” I said, breath shaking. “Tell me you’re lying. Tell me you didn’t just—just say that.”
He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to. His silence was its own confession.
“Ivan,” I said again, this time barely audible. “Tell me you didn’t.” He looked like he wished he could.
“I don’t know if it helps, but when I took the job, I didn’t know he was your father. I didn’t know the impact it would make. I didn’t know anything until the engagement party after it all happened.”
It didn’t make anything better. Nothing could ever be better. I’d fallen in love with a murderer. I was broken. I should have known.
Fuck, all the signs had been there. There were so many things shouting at me. The guns, the slight stalking, and all the things he wouldn’t say about what he did for work. Was I stupid? Or had I known all along, and I saw what I wanted to see? I pressed my palms into my eyes and let out a cry of anguish. The gaping hole inside of me was miles wide, and it was only a matter of time before it swallowed me whole. There was nothing left for me to stay present.
How could I have been so stupid? I knew he was dangerous! I should have known this!
An ugly, raw sob ripped free from my chest as I crumpled forward. I knew my father wasn’t a good man; I’dalways known it, but that didn’t excuse the fact that he was murdered the way he was. Not only was he murdered, but he was murdered by the man I loved. The man I’d loved but lied to me.
The betrayal of it all was enough to put me on the floor. Small arms wrapped around me and somehow kept me from collapsing. Jane sobbed against my back as she held onto me for dear life. I didn’t know what to do because I couldn’t make him leave, that was clear already, but I also couldn’t tell my brothers. Even though this news was enough to level me… I could never tell them. If they knew, Ivan would be a dead man, and that was the last thing I wanted for him. I loved him too much. But he’d only done the job; someone else had put the hit. Did that make it any better?
“Who hired you?”
“I can’t disclose that information,” His voice was hard and cold. I couldn’t even look at him. My vision was so blurry from the tears spilling free.
