“My mother is playing dangerous games,” Ivan’s voice ghosted over the back of my neck, and I resisted the urge to lean into him. I’d already had a few glasses of champagne and was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol dullingdown my inhibitions. “You look like a goddess. An untouchable, forbidden goddess. I want nothing more than to peel this dress off of your body and worship you.”
I swallowed hard as every single one of his words warmed my insides like nothing before. Jane occupied the dance floor while I stuck close to the shadows. And I’d never been so thankful I had, with him pressed up behind me. The warmth of him speared straight through my dress, and it was enough to illicit very dirty thoughts in the back of my mind.
The Cristof family was much bigger than I’d ever imagined, but it was nice to get lost in the crowd of them.
“You don’t know what it’s doing to me,” he rasped. “This dress. Your perfume. The way you keep looking at me like you want me to drag you into a dark corner and ruin you.”
My breath punched out of my lungs. “I wasn’t?—”
“You were,” he said, voice dipping into a low, sinful certainty. “You are.”
A tremble raced down my spine. From the dance floor, Dimitri shouted something obscene about married life, the guests roared with laughter, and the photographer snapped shots of Audrey and Alexei kissing under strings of fairy lights. It was all so perfect, and yet, here I was, hiding in the shadows waiting for something I should have never wanted.
The music slowed down, and I watched as Jane made her way to the bar and got a bottle of water. Her cheeks were pink, and the baby hairs around her face were beginning to stick to her skin. She looked like she was having a blast, andit did something to the gaping hole in my chest. Somehow, it helped heal it, but not enough for it to make a difference.
“Dance with me,” Ivan murmured.
“I’m going to be a married woman soon, Ivan.” As if he needed the reminder.
“You’re not married yet,” he said, voice low and lethal. “And I’m asking you for one dance. One.” His fingers brushed mine—barely, like he was testing the air between us, seeing if I’d pull away. I didn’t.
God help me, I didn’t move at all.
“I shouldn’t,” I whispered.
“No,” he agreed. “You shouldn’t.”
Then, quieter—dangerously honest: “But I want to hold you once before he steals every chance I’ll ever get.”
The tightening ache inside my chest only intensified.
“It’s wrong,” I breathed.
He stepped in closer—just enough that our bodies almost touched, not nearly enough to ease the ache curling low in my stomach.
“Everything about this is wrong,” he said. “But wanting you? That’s the only thing in my life that feels right.”
The music swelled. Couples drifted toward the center of the garden. Fairy lights shimmered off the pond. A breeze caught the hem of my dress.
“Say no,” he whispered, eyes blazing. “Tell me to walk away.”
I opened my mouth, but no sound came out because somewhere on the dance floor… Jane laughed, twirling, carefree, and happy. But most importantly… Safe. Safe because of him. My throat tightened.
“I shouldn’t,” I whispered again, weaker this time.
Ivan’s jaw flexed as if he was preparing himself for the rejection. I didn’t give it. Instead… I set my hand in his, and he yanked me right for the dance floor.
Chapter Forty-Five
Ivan
I was playing an incrediblydangerous and stupid game, but I couldn’t seem to find it in myself to care. I knew that any member of my family could snap a picture and send it to Donovan. I knew that there were some people in attendance who didn’t fear my brothers the way the rest of the city did. I knew that if I continued on this route, I was only destroying myself, and for whatever reason, I was okay with that.
Maybe it was because I got these moments for later. These memories would haunt me when I was alone and cold in my cabin up in the mountains. Or maybe it was because I enjoyed torturing myself. Either way, I didn’t want to dissect it. I wanted to enjoy every single second while I could.
Tonight, all I could think about was drowning in Poppy. One dance quickly turned into two, and then it went on and on until I couldn’t take my hands off of her, and my mother was shooting me knowing looks all over again.
A tap on my calf had me finally releasing her. “That’s enough, Lover Boy. Time to share the pretty new face.”
