She slowly turned to me and glanced at my bags. “I see you’ve got a lot of gifts. Kids?” she asked.
My eyes slowly drifted toward her. “Wife and kids.” She cleared her throat and turned to look straight ahead. It’s always something about the holidays that makes me grumpy. I was trying to turn over a new leaf and get into the holiday spirit, but until my wife showed she was in good spirits, I wouldn’t be either. I was a scrooge, and I knew it, but unless it was Coffee, everybody else could fuck off.
Once I reached the top floor and entered the condo, the first thing that greeted me was the Christmas tree I had set up a few days ago. The black tree, adorned with all its red trimmings, sat cozily beside a panoramic window overlooking the city. My eyes fixed on it as snow continued to fall outside. The snow was falling heavier now. My phone vibrated with an alert saying a winter storm was approaching. “Shit!”
I knew if we didn’t leave soon, Coffee and I would be stuck here and miss the day that was so special to CJ and Kira. If that happened, I would be no good. I wanted to be a part of every one of my son’s memories on every holiday. With Kira, because she didn’t have her family, I wanted to make every year special for her, and there was no way I was fucking missing this one.
The clock struck nine, and I grabbed my purse, phone, and coat. I hurried out of my small office and down the hall. “Dr. Carter! Dr. Carter!” I heard a nurse call out as I did my best to ignore her.
The sound of her voice crept up quickly behind me. “Dr. Carter?”
I lowered my head as I stopped walking and turned around. She looked at me with pity in her eyes. “I know you’re off, but I have a patient who needs to be seen.”
I glanced at my watch, then back at her, “Where is Dr. Ricks, Dr. Shelby?”
She nervously looked around. “They’re busy, and Dr. Lucas said you were free.”
“Oh, did he?” I mumbled.
I knew his ass wasn't any good. I’ve never been the doctor to turn patients away because you never know who might need you. I set my purse at the nurse’s station and followed the nurse. When I looked up, I saw Dr. Lucas disappearing behind the wall.I figured Chase was probably outside waiting, and if a minute went by too long, he’d be in here looking for me.
I moved quickly as I entered the room. A young girl lay in bed while a man sat beside her. She appeared to be about my age. The nurse handed me her chart. I glanced over it, and when I saw the reason, she was there; it brought back memories I’d tried to forget, but they kept recurring. I cleared my throat. “Hello, Carmella? I’m Dr. Carter. How are you feeling?” I asked.
The guy’s head lifted as he sadly looked at me. I immediately felt nervous, almost sick, thinking about Chase. When she looked at me, she offered a weak smile before wiping her tears away. “I don’t know how I feel. Weak, maybe I-I—”
The guy stood up and asked, “Is the baby ok? I’ve been telling Carmella to go to the doctor, but she kept saying she was fine. Then, she passed out, and now we’re here,” he nervously said.
“The baby,” I mumbled. “The—”
“Dr. Carter!” the nurse called out, pulling me out of my daze.
I glanced at the couple, feeling the weight of my words. “I’m so sorry, but the baby didn’t make it,” I said softly, knowing this moment would stay with me.
The way his knees buckled, and he broke completely, struck something in me. She didn’t seem as devastated as he was, and that affected me. It reminded me of when I lost my baby, and Chase was hurt, but I wasn’t. Now that I was watching from the outside, that seemed so selfish. My throat tickled, and my stomach curled. “The nurse will give you something to help you sleep. Again, I’m sorry. Excuse me,” I barely managed to say as I rushed out of the room, down the hall to the nearest bathroom, and threw up.
There were so many emotions brewing in that room that it made me feel sick. It was as if God had waited for this exact moment to show me how I had behaved in that same situation. Was I that heartless? Did my feelings outweigh Chase’s? Iquickly wiped my mouth, stepped out of the bathroom, grabbed my purse, and left.
Chase and I had some things to discuss, and it wasn’t just about us moving. My only hope was that it wouldn’t ruin the holiday weekend.
CHASE
My eyes were glued to the window, watching the snow slowly pile up with each passing minute. I hoped my driver would arrive soon with my wife safe. When I heard the locks click, I felt a wave of relief knowing Coffee was okay. I could tell Coffee was tired, worn out, and if I had to guess, stressed. When she stepped into the house, I could feel the emotions she was holding inside, but I couldn’t tell if they were sadness or anger.
“Hey, baby,” she cooed. “Give me a few minutes, and we can leave.”
I eased toward her and said, “Coffee, it’s a snowstorm coming. We won’t be able to leave tonight. So, I figured we would leave in the morning. Let’s relax tonight, yeah?”
I had concluded while waiting for her to arrive that we wouldn’t be able to hit the road tonight. I didn’t want to risk us getting into any fucking accidents. I had one scare when I thought I lost her, and I didn’t even want to give the devil a chance to seek vengeance.
I’d called up Gucci and told him we would be heading there first thing in the morning. The nigga was mad, but Sky understood. Hell, I was mad because it had been twenty-four hours since I had been away from my kids. I figured the best way to get my mind off of it would be to enjoy a night with Coffee. Since being here in New York, we hadn’t had any alone time, and this was the best way for us to play Menace May I before we got back to reality. Shit, a nigga had been feinin for Nemo.Every time I tried tapping in, Coffee would tap out. Tonight, she couldn’t run.
Coffee moved around the house as if anxiety had her in a chokehold. I tried to reach out to her, but she pulled away.Strike one.“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I muttered.
If she even spoke a word about Mr. Rogers, that was his ass. She said nothing as she kept moving around. Times like this were the ones I didn’t like. I hated it when Natalie did this shit, and now here she was doing the same thing. “Coffee,” I called out.
She ignored me. “Coffee!”I repeated.
Her head snapped my way.“Chase!”she shouted.
