My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I don’t have to check it to know that the others are here to pick me up. Giving myself a once-over in the mirror, I adjust my Santa hat.
My snakes are being quite dormant right now, enjoying the coziness of the fluffy-brimmed hat. It’s a strange feeling, though—wearing a hat. Not something I do often.
As I head out from my apartment, I hear my friends cheering as the main door to the building opens. They hang out of windows on the bus, howling and catcalling.
Grinning, I get on the bus. “You guys are ridiculous.”
“Well, we’re doing a ridiculous thing, so we’ve gotta act the part,” Tulip chirps, putting a hand under her chin.
“Yeah, arriving to the Christmas party in a party busisridiculous,” I laugh, slipping into an empty seat.
Hank’s deep voice cuts through the air. “Strippingat a company’s work Christmas party is ridiculous.”
“And here, we love that shit.” Ray raises the bottle in his hand before taking a swig.
Jewel scoffs where she sits next to him. “Excuse Ray, he’s just a little nervous.”
The rest of us make mocking, cooing sounds at him. I place my hand over my heart, and pout my bottom lip.
“Awe, poor Ray, feeling awittlenewvous,” Tulip says in a baby voice, earning a laugh from everyone except Ray himself.
He just rolls his eyes. “I just don’t know what to expect withoffice workers.”
“As if they aren’t our regular clients half the time?” Jewel nudges him, leaning closer before planting a kiss on his cheek. “It’ll be fine.”
Hank pipes up, “Of course it will—but I’m going to get more tips than any of you.”
“Ooh, a competition?” Jewel’s eyes light up.
I shake my head, holding up one hand. “You guys have fun with that; I’ve got my own mission.”
“And what is that?” Tulip raises a brow at me.
Giving her a wink, I reveal, “I want to give Joy’s grumpy boss some Christmas spirit.”
“Is that what you’ve named your dick?” Hank laughs, clutching his stomach.
Reaching over, I give his shoulder a shove, the bells on his hat jingling. For a big guy, it’s comical he chose to wear an elf costume tonight.
“That’s not thegoal,” I inform him, relaxing back in my seat. “But I wouldn’t say no to such a thing—if she’s my type.”
Ray lets out a snort, Jewel snickering beside him as he says, “You hardly have a type; if she breathes and can open her legs…”
“Hey…” I point a finger toward him, my snakes hissing. “Nottrue. I have a type—it’s the personality. The look can differ, because it’s what’sinsidethat really attracts me. Bonus points if they’re older than me.”
Tulip at least sides with me. “I have to agree—he does have a type.”
“See?” I throw my arms out.
“Bossy women,” Tulip remarks matter-of-factly.
I roll my eyes, informing them for the millionth time, “There’s nothing wrong with a woman who knows what she wants.”
“I wish that Jewel knew whatshewanted…” Ray mutters, his eyes widening as he realizes he’s speaking out loud. “Wait?—”
“Wowwww.” She stops leaning on him, scooting away on the seat.
Hank, Tulip, and I stifle our laughter, our eyes darting between each other and the now-fighting couple. At least the heat is off of me, finally.
