“Just for a minute.”
“If you must,” I grumble. If he wants me tothink, he needs to stop wrecking my brain like that.
“Do you think it’s stupid I changed my name to Dane?” he says. “Like I’m always putting on a front?”
I wasn’t expecting that. It wakes me up fast. Is it that different from the way I dress? Just a way of expressing yourself. If he feels more like a Dane than a Dean, what’s the problem?
“I don’t think it’s stupid,” I say. “Do you want to know a secret?”
“Always,” he says.
“When I was younger and I was afraid to do something, I used to imagine I was a superhero named Alexx.”
“Alexisyour name,” he says, sounding confused.
“No, it had two X’s.”
He laughs. “And the extra X gave you special powers?”
“It did,” I say seriously.
He kisses my forehead. “You’re too cute. So what were these powers?”
“The usual. Flying. Super speed. I imagined I was Alexx when I wanted to jump off the swings or climb something high. And do you want to hear something even dumber?” I look down but make myself say it. “I still do it sometimes. If I get nervous on stage with the band, I imagine I’m Alexx.”
He strokes my cheek and I look up.
“So that’s why you’re such a badass on stage,” he says.
“Yep. Don’t tell the guys? Olivia knows, but I don’t want them to know.”
“I swear,” he says.
I believe him, totally. Not too long ago, I would never have trusted him with that.
He kisses me again, then gets up and wanders over to the window.
“The snow’s really coming down out there,” he says. “Don’t think we’ll be going out for a while.”
I glance at the window. It looks like a solid white sheet.
“I guess we don’t really need to go out.” I start to smile, planning ahead. “Gives me more time to fuck you right back. You know how competitive I am.”
Dane looks back to me, meeting my smile. “I know, sweetheart.”
Chapter 15
Dane
Three months later
I managed to get Alex home in time for Christmas, which is a good thing because his mum would’ve killed me if I hadn’t. The snow wasn’t heavy enough to ground our flight, but it cutshort our sightseeing. Not that either of us were complaining about being forced to stay in bed together all day.
It didn’t turn out to be a White Christmas, like I’d gloomily predicted. But a few soft snowflakes started falling on Boxing Day, just as Alex came over to my place so we could exchange gifts. He looked adorable in the Santa hat that he knows I love. He gave me a tennis racket that was way too expensive. He also tried again to pay for his half of the Edinburgh trip. He’s annoyingly tenacious. I was forced to shut him up with aggressive kisses until he saw sense. He almost cried when I gave him his present: a guitar effects pedal. Overdrive, to be precise. It looked pretty rubbish to me: just a small metal box. I have no idea what it even does. I was afraid it wasn’t enough, but Olivia assured me it was exactly what he wanted. Judging by his tearful reaction, she was right.
Like I promised, I told my family about the two of us. When I broke the news, all Dad said was: “Right.” And then he went back to watching TV. I didn’t expect him to open his arms in a big dramatic moment and tell me I’m still his son and he just wants me to be happy and all that stuff. I would’ve been a bit alarmed if he had. Possibly suspected alien possession resulting in total personality change. I didn’t get the impression he was overjoyed about the whole thing, but he didn’t act like it was the end of the world either. Mum was quiet too, but she didn’t say anything negative. Probably the best I could’ve expected in the circumstances. Like I told Alex, he’s worth it.
Alex took care of telling our tennis coach Malachi. I’d had enough coming out for a while. According to Alex, Malachi’s expression didn’t change. I guess it takes more than two arch enemy players falling in love to faze him. Then he asked if we’d ever want to play on the same team, which we’d never done before on account of the death risk if we lost our tempers with each other. We agreed. So, here we are ready for a tennis matchat another club. It’s the first time Alex has played for the club team since he hurt his ankle.
