“I have ayouthing. I love how you look in everything.” His gaze rakes up and down my naked body. “And how you look out of everything.”
The compliment is so sincere, heat rushes my cheeks. He looks at me for a moment and his eyes get serious.
“The song wasn’t just an apology for running out on you at the tennis match,” he says. “It was also for leaving you hanging under the mistletoe at school.”
I stare up at him, my heartbeat speeding with nerves. Hearing him mention that horrible day out loud makes it all feel real again. I’ve been waiting for this apology for years. Now it’s here,I can’t help thinking that neither Dane nor I are the ones with anything to apologize for. I swallow a lump in my throat.
“It-it was Rob’s fault, not yours,” I say. “Anyway, it was ages ago.”
“You don’t have to play it down, Alex,” he says. He cups my chin in his hand to make me look at him. I don’t pull away but I close my eyes. “I know it was a bad time for you.”
It was. It led to a lot of bullying and stupid comments, some joky and some not-so-joky. Dane has no idea how bad it got sometimes. I never confided in him after he left me standing there at the mistletoe. Why would I? But it showed me who my friends were, too. A lot of people stuck up for me. I never regretted being out at school. It seems like sneaking around and hiding has taken its toll on Dane too. I’ve seen it in the guilt in his eyes, guilt he’s carried for seven years. I realized it as he held his breath, almost too nervous to kiss me at the Christmas market. All choices have their ups and downs.
I open my eyes. “I shouldn’t have pushed you to kiss me at school. I should’ve known you weren’t ready. And I possibly…definitelyheld it against you for too long.”
“Seven years,” he deadpans. “I remember.”
I feel ashamed of myself; there’s such a sad note in his voice. I had no idea it bothered him so much. I assumed he’d moved on to new, better friends anyway.
“I was too hard on you,” I admit. “Not speaking to you, not inviting you to my parties…”
He lays a dramatic hand on his chest. “Exiling me. I was banish-ed!”
I blink. “Is that a quote from Romeo and Juliet?”
“Yep.” There’s an attempt at the patented Dane smug smile, but it’s strained with his memories of hurt. “You’re not the only one who was listening in English class. I don’t blame you fornot wanting to speak to me. I do feel like I missed out on those parties, though.”
“Some idiot always took over the music.” I scowl, remembering. “Started playing rubbish.”
“I wouldn’t have let them. You should’ve invited me as bouncer if nothing else.”
“I should’ve invited you asyou. I’m sorry, Dane.”
He smiles and wraps his arms around me. The warmth of his embrace suffuses me. Shows me that I’m already forgiven.
“I think we’ve both apologized enough,” he whispers.
I pull back and pretend to pout. “Not fair. Why don’tIget the chance to sing a song? I had some nice Radiohead all prepared. Plus, I might actually hit he right note once or twice… unlike some people.”
“You’re an ungrateful wee…”
I smile, reaching up to touch his cheek, and he doesn’t finish the insult.
“I’m dead serious,” he says instead. “Are you ready to move on? I am if you are.”
I really am. I’m so ready for a new chapter with Dane.
“Yes, please,” I say.
His smile lights up the room: pure joy for the future, andfinallyno guilt. I could stare at it all day. He fills the bath with hot water and bubble bath from the complimentary pack at the side of the bath. I shiver with anticipation as the bubbles rise high. I’ve never bathed with someone before. It’s going to be a tight squeeze in this little tub. Dane gets in and squashes himself to one side. I wrap my legs around him and kiss him for a long time. The hot slide of his tongue in my mouth and the steam all around us... it all feels delicious after being outside in the cold for so long. I run my hands over his collarbone, his biceps, and down the below the water line, grabbing for his dick and making him yelp. He shampoos my hair, his hands soft and wondering.
“I never thought I’d get a chance to do this,” he says. “I know we fucked before, but I never thought you’d let me take care of you like this.”
Lethim? I never want him to stop. I lean close, shutting my eyes, as he caresses me all over. We only get out of the bath when the water gets cold and we’re starting to shiver. We dry each other with hotel towels. I ruffle Dane’s hair hard and when I let him go he looks breathless, cheeks pink and eyes wide. Gorgeous. On impulse I hoist him over my shoulder in a firefighter’s lift. He’s heavier than I expected, and my ankle is only just strong enough, but I manage to carry him to the bed. When I put him down he stares up at me in surprise, looking so good with his wet messy hair falling in his eyes.
“Bet you thought I couldn’t do that,” I say.
He pulls me down on top of him, laughing at me. “I feel like it was touch and go there for a minute.”
