He laughs. “I’m not sure. A few weeks, anyway.”
“That’s a shame.” I glance at him sidelong. “How about other… physical stuff?”
He laughs again, looking down, dark hair falling over his eyes. My heart jolts. Yes, my heart. Not just my dick.
Fuck. This is really starting to scare me.
“I guess I could try,” he says. “If you go easy on me.”
He flashes those dark eyes at me, glancing up shyly. I get chills. Literal chills. He’s never asked me to go easy on himbefore. Gentle isn’t our usual style. It sounds… tempting. I run my thumb along his jawline, making him raise his head. He gazes at me and I gaze at him. Then we both give a nervous kind of laugh. We don’t do this. Romantic moves, tender moves. We have no roadmap here. Before I lose my nerve I lean in, close my eyes, and kiss him. Surer ground. At least we’ve done this before. A lot. But fierce kisses, competitive kisses, kisses that clash and joust for supremacy. This is our first sweet, tender one. Alex’s beautiful eyes are shining as we pull apart.
“I didn’t know you could kiss like that,” he says.
“Rude.”
“But true.” He gives me an unrepentant grin.
I can’t let him get away with that. I wrestle him gently onto his back, careful of his injured ankle. His breath catches as he looks up at me.
“Take that back,” I say.
“Never.”
I hold him down. He doesn’t struggle. Maybe he likes having me on top of him. He shakes his head to get his hair out of his eyes, since I’m holding his wrists prisoner. It’s hot as fuck.
“Why are you so annoyingly strong?” he says.
“Wait, was that a…compliment?”
He makes a disgusted face. “Oh shit, yeah. I take it back. I take it back!”
“Too late.”
I probe at the crease of his lips with my tongue, teasing, tempting. He moans into my mouth, soft and low. His erection is growing fast and pressing into me. Apparently I can drive him wild just as fast as he can drive me crazy. Weird that our chemistry is still red hot even without the tension of animosity between us. I wasn’t sure if we’d still have that magnetism without the antagonism. But the messages my body is sending are loud and clear. My body wants Alex and it wants him now.
“Not here,” he breathes. “My bedroom.”
He sits up, breathless and with his dark hair disarrayed.
“Shit. I forgot,” he says. “It takes me so long to get upstairs now.” He points to his crutches.
“I’ve got you,” I say.
I stand up and scoop him into my arms. I feel his shocked gasp, and then he snuggles into my chest, wrapping his arms around my neck.
“This feels nice,” he murmurs.
“Nice for me too,” I say.
My voice trembles a little. Fear of my own feelings is getting overwhelming.
When I get to the bottom of the staircase, I start to doubt myself. It looksreallyfar to the top. I’d hate to drop him. But I take a deep breath and go for it before I can lose my nerve. We make it to the top. Glad that’s over, I carry him into his bedroom and put him down on the bed. His room is spacious and bright, with a huge window looking over the town. There’s a light dusting of snow on rooftops, not enough to block the roads but enough to remind me of the season. It’s clean but less tidy in here than downstairs, with clothes and music books strewn everywhere. A rack of guitars stands against one wall with silver tinsel draped over it.
“Are you all ready for your Christmas show at the pub?” I ask.
“Fingers crossed,” he says.
He sits on his bed amid a mound of luxurious pillows, looking up at me. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about the gig. He has other things on his mind. I get hit with a surreal feeling. I’m in Alex’s bedroom. We’re about to fuck for real. Can’t call this a secret, stolen moment in the tennis changing rooms or the car. Can’t call this a purely physical thing that means nothing. Not with that look in Alex’s eyes. My breath gets tight, but not from arousal. I look out the window to catch myself for a moment.Wrong move. I can see our old school from here. This is such a small, suffocating town. It’s impossible to escape the past, for good or bad. I’m suddenly right back in that school corridor where Alex was waiting for me to kiss him under the mistletoe. And I just couldn’t do it.
