Because he suffered too.
Fuck, do I understand that.
But tonight I don’t want to allow that in—the suffering, the pain, the regrets.
I want to give her something better.
“You still want to know what the guys give me shit about?” I ask as we weave through the parking lot and turn onto the faintly lit trail that leads up into the pines she likes to walk along.
She misses a step then tilts her head to the side, face tipping up so I can see her mouth is curved. “Without the aforementioned payment?”
My mouth quirks. “Consider this one on the house.”
“Okay.”
“No mercy, huh?” I ask as we start making our way up the slight outcropping.
A sound of pure outrage. “You’re the one who offered!”
“Maybe I didn’t expect you to take me up on it,” I counter, drawing her a little closer when the trail drops off, not wanting her that near to the edge.
“Maybe,” she says, her eyes flicking up to mine, something in the depths telling me she knew exactly what I was doing with that maneuver. “Or maybe you’re trying to distract me.”
“Is it working?”
She laughs then slips her hand from mine as we crest the final hill, moving to sit on a fallen log. “No,” she says, patting the spot beside me. “Tell me.”
She’s laughing.
Smiling.
At me.
No fear, no tears, no panic.
Just the beautiful sky overhead and the beauty that is Kylie.
So, I can no more stop myself from walking over to the log and sitting next to her than I could stop my heart from beating.
Same as I can no more stop myself from telling her what my share of the locker room shit-giving is about.
“No, you didn’t!” she gasps.
I nod. “Would I lie to you?”
Her head tilts to the side, gaze locked with mine, eyes suddenly serious. “I hope not,” she says quietly. “But I don’t know you well enough to say for certain.”
That’s fair.
More than fair.
It still feels like an actual physical blow though. A blocked shot missing my pads, the puck colliding with exposed flesh.
“Colt,” she says quietly.
“In this case, unfortunately, I’m telling the truth.”
A pause, then her eyes dance, her reply quiet. “Brutal.”
