She hesitates for a moment, eyes searching mine as her hand rests on my jaw. For a second, I worry she’ll come to her senses and kick me out of the room.
“Colt?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Do you actually love me?”
“Yes, I do,” I tell her. “I love you very much. I’m just sorry that I didn’t say it sooner.”
She pulls my lips to hers and I deepen our kiss. We keep a slow, savoring pace, like it’s the last time we’ll ever kiss each other – and I worry for a moment that that’s exactly what’s happening, but I don’t ask. I don’t want to ruin whatever this moment is between us.
Rowan’s hands find their way to my collar and she grips onto it to pull us even closer together. Bodies pressed against one another, she drapes a leg over mine, and my hands slowly explore her body, grazing over the curve of her hips, working over her clothing.
I stop myself, considering the day she’s had, and pull away from her just enough to ask, “Are you too tired for this?”
“Probably,” she answers, “but I don’t want to stop.”
“Good.” I tangle my hand into her hair and pull her back to me, telling her, “Because I want to take my time with you,” before I claim her mouth with mine again.
It’s Rowan’s hands that get greedy, slowly pulling away the buttons of my shirt to follow the trail of body hair from my chest to the waist of my slacks. My breath hitches in my chest at her touch and my hand moves from her hair, reaching into her shorts to grab onto her ass, forcing a soft groan from her mouth.
Her hips move against me, just slightly, and it takes every effort not to tear her clothes off and fuck her like my life depends on it, because it feels like it does, but I don’t let myself. I want to soak in every second of this and relish this moment with her.
With my eyes locked onto hers, I reach for her wrist and bring it to my mouth, pressing light kisses to her delicate skin, working my way up to her palm until I reach her fingertips.
“Do that again,” she breathes.
And so I do.
I trail kisses up from her wrist and back down, and she shudders when I make my way down to the crook of herelbow. We shed what’s left of our clothes and lay together, kissing and touching, until I think we might both lose our minds from need.
My hand lands on her ass with a smack and I pull her onto my cock, groaning as I slide inside of her to the hilt. We maintain eye contact as we move against each other – slow and deep; savoring.
I can’t think of a time I’ve ever felt this strongly about someone, in all of my life. I loved Emmett’s mother, sure, but that was a high school romance. Nothing more than glorified puppy love that was always going to end. My priorities in life changed the minute that second line showed up on the pregnancy test, and hers just...didn’t. It took me a long time to realize that even if she hadn’t been pregnant, we would have drifted apart.
My last girlfriend, I was serious enough about to bring her around my family and friends. We separated through no fault of her own shortly after. My son was young and he was angry that I had brought someone new into our lives – he was convinced that she had come to take me away from him, and I swore to myself I’d never do that again. It was too risky.
But Rowan consumes me. Every thought that I have is her. Everything I want in this life is her. If she asked me to give up everything I worked for, I’d leave it behind in a second. If she asked me for the moon, I’d find a way to bring it down to Earth and set it at her feet. I know it’s wrong, that I shouldn’t feel this way about her, but I don’t give a shit anymore. She’s mine and I will never let go of her.
As her breathing grows heavier, I cup her face.
“My perfect girl,” I breathe.
Her arm wraps around my shoulder while she comes, her body shaking and bucking against me as she moans my name, and she holds on tight as she rides the wave, sending me right over the edge with her.
“Don’t sleep in your room tonight,” she says quietly, wrapped in my arms as we both come down.
I do as she asks – not that she needed to ask, I would have stayed even if she tried to kick me out – and I hold her tightly while she sleeps. Tomorrow, I can think about our next steps. Tonight, nothing else exists but us and this moment.
•
Where the soft morning sun should be shining into the house, the sky is muggy this morning, looking like it’s going to rain any minute. I pour a second shot of espresso into my mug then fish a bagel out of the toaster oven before slathering it in cream cheese and heading to the table to take the seat across from Rowan.
With Macie out of earshot, I take the opportunity given to talk with Rowan, telling her, “I’m going to talk with Emmett – about us.”
“Today?”
“No,” I say, shaking my head. “He has exams this week, there won’t be time. But I will make the plans with him today.”
