I pull on a sweater and a pair of soft leggings and then boots and make my way slowly downstairs, fighting not to howl with hurt when his glorious blue eyes smile up at me.
Like nothing’s changed. Like he…like he cares for me.
Caring isn’t love though.
I should know that better than anybody. I love my mom. But I don’t care what she thinks at all.
I gave that up a long time ago.
And now I’m going to have to do the same thing with Sebastian. And make sure that he never finds out how much I love him.
I can do this.
I step up to him and smile shakily. “So what is it that you need?”
CHAPTER 8
Sebastian
“Apuppy. I want to get Charlie a puppy.”
Aspen’s eyes widen and she nods. Her flushed cheeks are pale and she still looks shaky but in a different kind of way.
“Are you okay, Aspen? If you don’t feel up to it, I’ll take care of this myself.”
“No, no. I’m good. I’d love to help you. And I know just what you’re looking for. One of my friends has a golden retriever that just had puppies a couple of months ago. They’re ready to go.”
“Terrific! I knew you would be just the person to help me. Can we go take a look at them?”
“Yeah. Of course. I’ll call Monica. She’d love to find a good home for one of the puppies.”
“Great! I’ll drive. You grab your coat!”
She nods but it’s automatic, like she doesn’t know what the hell she’s doing and fear trickles over me.
“Did I hurt you, Aspen?”
She laughs but it’s not as happy, as joyous as usual. “No, of course not. I’m good. Let’s get this over with.”
My chest hurts and I reach up my hand to rub at it.What went wrong?
I thought that we had something special. When I was touching her, tasting her, it felt like the most natural, perfect thing in the world. Like it was meant to be. Fated.
But you wouldn’t know it by looking at her.
She just looks uncomfortable and there’s a gleam in her eyes that doesn’t look like happiness to me.
“Okay. Let me get my car and you grab your purse and your coat.” She nods woodenly, her usual smile nowhere in sight.
We drive to her friend’s house and I study the puppies half-heartedly. All the happiness that I was feeling earlier is gone.
But I need to pick the perfect puppy for my daughter. She deserves this.
One of the puppies is braver than the others and hops up on the plastic playpen that’s set up in the living room. He howls and his big paws fall down as his head tips back.
He’s a goof and I know that my daughter will love the little thing.
I nod my head. “That guy there.”
