“But I?—”
“Cal, listen to me.” The sharp words echoed in the small tent. “You’ve never done any of this before. You don’t know everything, but I tell you what. You learn fast. You’re smart. T-shirts will dry, and you and I?—”
The words felt heavy in his chest, as if they were the lid on all the feelings in his heart. All the unexpressed, still-new questions he’d been asking himself, the most important of which wasWho am I?
“Cal.”
Zeke turned and reached out to curl his fingers around the back of Cal’s neck, encountering the dampness from the rain, the coolness of Cal’s skin. He tightened his fingers, but gently, only to draw Cal’s attention to him.
“You need to sleep. In the morning, we’ll ride into Aungaupi Valley and rescue those mustangs. That’s all that matters now.” When Cal didn’t say anything, he asked, “Understand?”
“Yeah.”
The word was soft. And Zeke didn’t let go.
Instead, beneath the pull of his hand, Cal rolled on his side, facing Zeke. The tension in his hand released as Cal moved close, just about tucking himself beneath Zeke’s arm, the tickle of Cal’s bear scare making him shiver.
That closeness struck Zeke, enveloped his heart. He tucked his hand and shifted his grip to pull Cal even closer until Cal could duck his head beneath Zeke’s chin.
With horses, you waited until the wild ones picked you out of the storm. Zeke still didn’t know the whole story of Cal’s past, but there was a storm inside of him that he carried all the time.
As he felt Cal’s breath against his bare skin, two different men battled inside of him.
One man was focused on Cal and what he needed, on bringing a wild pony in where it was safe.
The other struggled with a silent, singular awareness that felt so new it was dangerous. To hold Cal close because hewantedhim?—
There was nothing wrong with that kind of want. But it was wrong to take advantage, and Zeke did not, and would not, do that.
In the meantime, he left his arm around Cal’s shoulders, breathed slowly in and out, and listened to the rain on the tent, and the roar of the river.
When he awoke, he was aware that he’d pulled Cal even closer, an embrace of lovers the morning after. Yet there had been no kisses, and there lingered no exotic languor, only warmth and Cal’s scent.
His body stiffened as he meant to let go, to remove his arm and step into the tasks for the day: packing up, saddling up, and riding the rest of the way to the valley to free the mustangs.
He would have let go. But Cal clasped his hand and tightened it to him, tucking himself more firmly inside of Zeke’s embrace. Trapping Zeke exactly where he wanted to be.
Snuggled close, Cal’s head tucked beneath his chin, the steady pace of his breath leading Zeke’s heart down a path where he wanted to go. Shouldn’t want to go, but he did.
His whole body wanted to open up and tuck Cal even further into his arms. Wanted to whisper against Cal’s sleep-warmed skin and say things that only his soul understood.
“Hey,” he said, almost whispering the word.
“Hey,” said Cal, looking up at him with those big blue eyes, his face thin in the shadows of the tent, as the sun had yet to slice over the edge of the canyon walls.
For a moment, a long hard heartbeat, Zeke let himself be pulled into those eyes. Let himself absorb the warmth of Cal’s body where it spilled out of Cal’s half-zipped sleeping bag and into Zeke’s own.
This was good. All of it soaked into Zeke and he let it, staying there without stopping it, just letting it be.
If only they could stay like this forever, he and Cal, the horses, the canyon and the river, rushing on to its own destination, unhindered by anything, even itself.
His body stirred and tightened, new yearnings beneath his skin, a whisper of the imagined taste of Cal’s mouth and the way he might blink slowly if Zeke kissed him, rolling in the shock of being treated with kindness. A young horse. The first good touch.
“Everything okay?” asked Cal.
His voice was rough, as if he needed water. The horses needed water, too, and feed, maybe salt.
They needed to continue on their journey. Zeke needed to get the morning started or he would be surrendering to the impulse of want and desire and the pull of Cal’s half naked body.
