Bede felt like he’d been behind bars forever and then some, and now, standing in the cool dark woods in a hidden valley in the wilds of Wyoming, it hit Bede with a sudden clarity that he did not want to go back there. Ever.
There was a risk that Galen would mention to one of his fellow team leads that he’d caught Big Bad Bede in the woods crying. But maybe he wouldn’t say anything. Bede couldn’t make Galen not talk, so he was just going to have to risk it. After all, he’d taken bigger risks than this one. All that was at stake was his pride, not his life.
“Maybe I was there,” said Bede, answering the specific question rather than respond to Galen’s sympathy. He wiped his upper lip with the heel of his thumb. “They herded us around when there were tours, you know. Keeping us out of sight.”
“Oh, I figured as much.” Galen tilted his head back, as if appraising Bede. “You going to be okay?”
Bede couldn’t take it anymore. The kindness, the concern. Galen had seen him at his most vulnerable, and he needed to get away before Galen was even nicer to him, because that would surely break him.
He turned on his heel and strode down the dark path like he had done it every day of his life, and knew where every bump and knot of grass was. He didn’t and stumbled in the dark, and kept on going. Anything to get away from Galen.
Chapter 13
Galen
Galen must have ground his teeth together in the night because in the morning his jaw ached as well as his back, and he had to sit up slowly. With his head in his hands, and the faint chirp of birds on the other side of the canvas roof of the tent, he waited for his head to stop pounding, but it never did.
Then he remembered the tussle between him and Bede the night before, and how he’d slipped and fallen. Not when Bede had pushed him, or even when they’d stood close in an almost-embrace, so close he could catch Bede’s scent, and feel the muscles along Bede’s arms beneath his grasp. No. Galen had slipped when Bede had stepped away.
Then Bede had hauled him to his feet, and that’s when Galen figured out what Bede had been doing in the middle of the woods.
Bede had been crying all by himself. In the dark. Sobbing even, affected by something so deep inside of him that he’d been unable to stop even when Galen had come close to him.
The sound had made Galen’s heart hurt in sympathy. And though he didn’t quite know what Bede was upset about, Galenknew what it was like to have your soul ripped open by loss and grief.
The green canvas above his head glowed in the early morning sunshine, warming slowly, scenting the air inside the tent, and he knew he needed to get going. He had a job to do and a team to lead, and a tiny headache couldn’t keep him in bed.
The thing to do was get moving, so he got up, dressed, and went to take a shower, and shave, and get ready for his day.
On the way back from the showers, he stopped at the first aid hut to grab some Tylenol and took two of those. By the time he made it to the mess tent, he knew he wasn’t going to mention his encounter with Bede the night before.
And certainly he wasn’t going to mention that Bede had been crying. A man had a right to his feelings, his privacy, no matter who he’d been before he’d come to the valley.
All of this whirled in his head as he climbed the steps to the wooden platform in front of the mess tent. Gabe was standing there, chatting with Royce, something about wild mustangs and a one hundred day training challenge.
“I couldn’t do it,” said Royce, sounding amazed. “But those young ladies certainly know how to make it happen.” Then he saw Galen there and smiled. “Oh, my, you look stiff.”
“I stumbled and fell on the path when coming back from my swim last night,” said Galen. He’d not realized he showed any signs of his tussle with Bede, but it was too late now. The lie was out.
“You might use some arnica cream,” said Royce.
“What?” asked Galen, blinking, looking over Royce’s shoulder to the interior of the mess tent, telling himself he was not looking for Bede. “The what now?”
“Like arnica cream,” said Royce. “It containsArnica montana, which is very good for dulling pain.”
“The first aid hut has some of that,” said Gabe, looking at Galen with some consideration. “But it’s in the drawer, not in the cupboard.”
“I’ll be sure to grab some.”
Galen stepped to the side, and saw that yes, Bede was sitting at the long table nearest the side of the tent. He had a cup of coffee in his hands, like pretty much everyone else, but he was by himself, eyes on his cupped hands.
The memory of Bede crying, the aching vulnerability in the sound, as if his sorrow had come up from the center of his soul, made Bede seem more like an ordinary guy. One who had not committed atrocious crimes and who was not afraid to show his softer side.
And suddenly Galen felt a surge of desperation that he should get to Bede before anyone else did. So he could reassure Bede that he, Galen, was not going to tell anyone about the night before.
“How’d it happen?” asked Gabe, as Galen turned to shoulder past Gabe and Royce.
“Like I said,” said Galen. “I wasn’t holding my flashlight quite right and tripped over a root. Or something.”
