“I don’t want to protect Alex. I don’t want to feel like that anymore. I spent two years behind bars for no reason. Being with you, at least most of the time, taught me that I didn’t deserve a single minute of those two years. I wanted to feel like I was good enough to deserve you, and most of the time, I did. I want to keep on feeling that way, only I don’t think you want to. There was doubt in your eyes. Not all the time, but sometimes.”
“I don’t doubt you.” Gabe came closer too, his voice raised, sharp-edged.
“Yes, youdo.”
“Idon’t,” said Gabe, more softly.
Reaching up, Gabe was close enough to tuck Blaze’s hair behind his ear, a simple touch that made Blaze shiver all over.
“And if I did, I don’t anymore. Truly, not anymore.”
Blaze could feel Gabe’s body heat, even surrounded by the warmth of the fire. Could smell the woodsmoke in the air, and the sweat from Gabe’s exertions getting the fire built, getting s’mores supplies, getting everything ready for when Blaze would read the letter and come to the fire pit. As to how long Gabe had been willing to wait—
Up close, there was sweat along Gabe’s jaw, his dark hair sticking to his temples. His eyes glittered, not with firelight, but with something else, coming up from deep within him, looking like tears, making Blaze’s heart feel like it had been ripped open wide.
For Gabe to come to this point, vulnerable, as if he’d been devastated at the thought of never being with Blaze, was enough to undo Blaze to the point where he moved closer till his work boots touched Gabe’s cowboy boots, and he stopped.
He leaned into Gabe’s touch until the touch became Gabe’s palm cradling his cheek. Warm skin, rough-edged, calloused fingertips. That tremor. Gabe’s breath along his jaw as Gabe leaned in for a kiss.
But he was watching Blaze, his eyes fully open, as if he was wary of Blaze leaping away like a wild thing that did not want to be tamed.
If Blaze let anyone tame him, it would be this man. Who, kind of quiet and even tempered, waited for permission for a kiss between them. He looked like he might wait forever, a sheen of tears in his blue eyes out of fear that the answer might be no.
“Okay,” said Blaze, letting the breath rush out of his body as he stood as still as he could for that kiss, the soft, velvet touch of Gabe’s lips upon his. The warm circle of muscle and bone as Gabe’s arms came around him. “Okay,” he breathed, half panting as they parted.
“I’ll teach you anything you want to know,” said Gabe, sounding breathless himself. “Tell you anything about me that you want to know. And you can tell me anything. I just want us to be together when summer ends and then forever after that.”
“You’re such a romantic, Gabe,” said Blaze, parts of him trembling as he circled his arms around Gabe’s neck, the earth solid beneath his feet for maybe the first time in his life. “I think I’m the only person who knows it, but that’s okay. It means that part of you is for me alone.”
Maybe he was being greedy, demanding this from Gabe, wanting it for himself, only for him. But maybe it was okay, because Gabe’s smile grew soft as he clasped Blaze’s face in his warm palms, and kissed his chin, his cheeks, the corners of his eyes.
“You can have it,” said Gabe. “You’re the only one who’s ever seen it anyhow.”
Blaze took those kisses and absorbed them inside of himself where he would keep safe them forever.
“So I’m not moving out,” he said, tipping his head back, looking at Gabe like he was examining him. “And everyone will have to know about us, since it’ll be less easy to hide it, what with Wayne already onto us, and more parolees coming this week.”
“And Jasper knows,” said Gabe. “And Ellis, I’m thinking.”
“Do you care?” Blaze asked, demanding it.
“No.” The answer was solid and sure, and there was no hesitation in it. Only Gabe, his arms around Blaze’s waist, tugging him close. “I never will.”
Blaze’s throat was too full for words, tight, almost too tight to breathe. But when Gabe brushed a soft kiss across his mouth, he drew in Gabe’s breath, his energy, and it filled him from the bottom all the way to the top of his head, and he tucked that head into the curve of Gabe’s strong throat.
“I only care about you,” whispered Gabe in his ear. “Only you.”
Over Gabe’s shoulder, Blaze could see gold and yellow and orange sparks flying up into the purple twilight, the warmth of it reaching him, but never coming close to the warmth of Gabe’s shoulders, his body, the nearness of him. Blaze closed his eyes.
This was all he’d ever wanted, only he’d not known it until now.
Chapter28
Gabe
After they carefully put the fire out and after they’d gone to Gabe’s tent, Gabe had been unable to light the Coleman lantern before he and Blaze had tumbled into bed.
Thus the overhead light had blared upon them as they exchanged kisses and sweet promises, and Gabe had lingered over each touch, counting his blessings, savoring the warmth of Blaze’s body, the closeness between them. The taste of Blaze on his tongue, the silky sweep of Blaze’s hair against his neck, as they rested, languor overtaking them both.
