“It went okay,” he said.
He filled Jasper in with the details of Leland’s little speech, and then his hopefully straightforward presentation of the rules. He told the story of the tour, and the almost comical surprise of the parolees when they were given nice things to wear and had a gourmet-level meal of street tacos for dinner.
“I’m glad you suggested that I wait to read their files until I’d made my own impression of them.”
“Yeah, that’s what I did with Ellis,” said Jasper. “I figured the prison system would have a slanted view, because that’s who they are. I wanted my own view going in. I wanted to go with my gut.”
“If I were to go with my gut—” Gabe paused, thinking that he was hearing bats whirling around the trees. Or maybe it was too late for bats and the noises were his imagination.
“Go with your gut,” said Jasper. “What’s it telling you?”
“Two of them I donotlike,” said Gabe with a small laugh, feeling bad even as he said it. “Kurt and Wayne. It’s their attitudes. Maybe prison made them hard to the world or maybe that’s just the way they are.” He paused, shaking his head. “They act like criminals and they look like criminals and I just don’t like them. Is that normal?”
“It’s normal,” said Jasper, in his calm way. “But just like at work, there are guys you instinctively don’t like from the get-go for whatever reason. Doesn’t mean you do anything about it. You keep your thoughts to yourself and maybe in time, they turn out to be not so bad. Or maybe you were right all along.”
Gabe thought it over. “I like Tom. He stole baby supplies for his pregnant girlfriend. Didn’t think it through, but my heart kind of goes out to him. There’s a girlfriend in the picture and now a baby, who I don’t think he’s ever seen. I just want to drive him to wherever they are. Isn’t that dumb?”
“Not at all.” Jasper went silent and then said, “Sounds like Tom did a foolish thing, but you gotta feel for a guy who’s that much in love. Go with your gut instinct and keep an eye out. You’re the man in the field, so you have to decide based on the circumstances of the moment. You’ll learn more about them as you go. You may find that Kurt turns out to be a decent guy who’s full of anxiety about this program, and you may find out that Tom is a number one jerk. When you’ve experienced them more, you can shift your opinion or act on it whatever is needed.”
“And then there’s Blaze,” said Gabe, knowing he left Blaze for last because Blaze was the most puzzling.
“Yeah? What are your thoughts about him?”
“Yeah. Blaze’s real name is Orlando, but he prefers Blaze. He doesn’t seem like he belongs with the others.”
“Oh, yeah?” asked Jasper. “Why is that?”
“Don’t laugh,” said Gabe, laughing himself.
“Never me,” said Jasper, and Gabe could hear the smile in his voice.
“My heart goes out to Blaze even more than it does to Tom. Blaze just looks lost, like he has no idea how he got here, and he’s just holding himself in check until he’s allowed to go free again.”
“The parolees can leave any time, right?” asked Jasper.
“That’s the way Leland wanted it set up,” said Gabe. “There’s no cage. No cage door, so their reasons for staying aretheirreasons.”
“I do like the way Leland thinks,” said Jasper.
“I know you do,” Gabe replied. “You know that song by the Talking Heads? Blaze has got an expression like he’s asking how he got here. I keep wanting to point him in the right direction, help him get his GED.”
“How long was he in for?” asked Jasper.
“Almost two years,” said Gabe. “The file said he studied for his GED, but never took the test. Or maybe he did and the file’s just not up to date. Or maybe they don’t add that kind of information to the file. I don’t know.”
Two weeks of training in Torrington had prepared him, but not for everything. It certainly hadn’t prepared him for what he was supposed to do when his own feelings crept into the mix.
He had sympathy for all the men on his team, even a bit for Kurt. But when it came to Blaze, his feelings rose into a different shape, surrounded by tendrils of woodsmoke from a campfire, with visions of a sleepy-eyed Blaze, for once not putting on a show or flirting with such intention it was obvious even to Gabe that it was a put-on.
But in that moment—when Gabe had woken Blaze up and Blaze had looked up at him—there had been the warmth of gratitude in his eyes to see Gabe there. Gabe, rather than, perhaps, a prison guard, or even his two attackers.
Gabe was making up the connection between them, surely he was, and going through some weird transfer of his own emotions onto a single prisoner, who probably wouldn’t like Gabe even if they met on the street, and certainly wouldn’t appreciate Gabe having less-than-professional thoughts about him.
“I have to get my head on straight,” said Gabe, running his fingers hard through his hair. “Maybe I’m having problems because I’m the only one here.”
“You are on your own, aren’t you,” said Jasper. “But you won’t be for long. Aren’t some of those horses Leland bought at auction coming through next week?”
“Yeah.” Gabe sighed, dropping his hand, looking up at the stars beyond the glow of the lantern. “There was a delay in the paperwork, but we should get them soon. Are you going to shoe them down here or up at your forge?”
