“I never thought anyone would want me like this,” Austin whispered.
“I want you.” Clay swallowed and kissed Austin gently on the mouth, then on his nose. “And I’m willing to wait. For sure. For my tall, red-headed monk? I can wait.”
Austin scrubbed at his eyes and huffed out a laugh and shook his head, as though at Clay’s foolishness.
“Aren’t you a little short for a Viking?” asked Austin, with a final wipe to his eyes with the edge of his sleeve.
“I have it on good authority that Vikings come in all sizes.” Clay made a scoffing sound, then tugged on Austin’s hand. “C’mon, let’s go clean up for our date.”
“Do they even have good beer in this state?” asked Austin, as if that was all that concerned him.
“We’ll google it, my friend,” said Clay. “And we’ll drive as far as we need to to find it.”
As they walked toward the staff quarters and the managers’ cabins, Clay felt light-headed, buoyed up by bubbles of joy. He didn’t know how they might manage, but he’d told the truth, and that was a very good start.
25
Austin
In the end, after sprucing up for their date, and Austin knew he’d put on way too much cologne, they searched on his phone for a decent place with good beer. They ended up going to Uncle Charlie’s Tavern on the edge of Cheyenne.
They had to take Ladybelle on a good forty-minute drive down the highway, but well worth it, as the tavern was cozy and warm, with enough trendy beer to make anyone happy. They got a high-top just for two at the far end from the band, which was currently taking a break, and the cheeseburgers were so good, they ordered another one to split between them.
“Gah, this is good,” said Clay. “I really like Levi’s cooking, but sometimes, bar food just hits the spot. You know?”
“I do know,” said Austin, taking another swallow of beer from a local brewery called Highgrass, and eased into his seat, relaxing further with each moment like this spent in Clay’s company.
They’d gotten the hard part out of the way when Clay had told him his honest truth, that he just wanted to be with Austin, in spite of his troubles, in spite of everything.
And, looking at Clay now, at his dimples, that smile, the way his fair hair curled behind his ears, Austin wanted to wish on the stars in Clay’s blue eyes for a way to get over all of Mona’s harsh words and looks of disgust. Wished he could leap into a future time, where he and Clay could just be together, like he imagined two men might be together. Which couldn’t be too different from the way a man and a woman were together, could it?
There was so much he didn’t know, but what he did know was that he wanted to be with Clay, and wake up with him in the mornings, and share late night pizza and Netflix at night. All of this drifted in and around ideas of sliding his hand down Clay’s bare side, onto his hip, to feel the pulse and warmth of Clay’s skin. To take him in hand and then do—what?
His only experience of anything sexy below the waist was Mona looking up at him from between his legs with a hard twist to her mouth, letting him pulse in her hand, always unhappy about it, always worried that his semen would get in her hair.
“Hey,” said Clay. He reached to curl his fingers around Austin’s arm. “Such a serious look. What are you thinking about?”
“Truth?” asked Austin.
“Of course.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” said Austin. “I just know that, yeah, being with you makes me feel good. But as for everything else—maybe I should watch some gay porn, or something—”
To his astonishment, Clay laughed out loud, leaning back, his eyes sparkling.
“Oh, my friend,” he said. “Sweet Austin. Porn is fine, but it’s such an exaggeration of how it really is. Besides—” Clay leaned close, close enough to kiss Austin’s cheek, close enough to lower his hand to Austin’s thigh and cup his fingers tight for a brief second. “Maybe we should just fool around sometime, see how it goes. No pressure. No porn movies. Just you an’ me. Right?”
That sounded better, much better. Easier. Austin nodded, the muscles on his neck feeling jerky and stiff. Then Clay kissed him soundly in front of everybody, and nobody seemed to care, so he took a deep breath and turned his head and kissed Clay right back.
They finished up the meal, genially arguing over who should pay. In the end, Austin won, though this made Clay pout in such an adorable way that Austin kissed him in the doorway of the restaurant, and then again inside of Ladybelle. Inside of that kiss, their tongues met, warm, almost innocent, and Clay sighed, eyes half lidded as he cupped Austin’s cheek.
“You’re a good kisser for a straight guy,” he teased.
“Well, you’re a good kisser for a gay guy,” said Austin before he thought. “Wait, I don’t even know what that means.”
“I don’t either,” said Clay, laughing as he started the truck. “Let’s go pick up Bea before Jasper puts a leather apron on her and teaches her how to get that forge hot enough to melt iron.”
Clay drove the truck along the dark, two-lane road that went parallel to the foothills, while overhead the stars twinkled and pulsed and made their presence known.
