He let go of Austin’s face and slid his hands down Austin’s neck to his shoulders and then to his upper arms, never letting go, never losing touch.
“We’ll just go slow,” said Clay, now. “It’s all new to me, too, right? Being with someone with no experience.”
“I have experience,” said Austin, affronted.
“Of course you do. Just not with guys.” Clay pointed to himself and nodded, pretending to be quite wise in these matters. “Maybe I can’t dance, but I’m a rock star at everything else.”
“That you are,” said Austin, his voice low, making Clay shiver.
Austin bent close, tipping his head down like an offering, and came close enough to press his forehead against Clay’s. They stayed like that for a moment, in stillness, connected as the cool air of the glade swirled around them, scenting the air with pine and earth and dampness.
When Clay realized that the music had stopped and laughter and chatter had risen, he knew the dance was over. And if he was going to be a good boyfriend, the best, really, he needed to make sure of Austin and stop them both before he gave into his desire to take Austin to bed, remove all of his clothes, and tumble them both between the sheets.
“We should get to bed,” said Austin, as though reading his mind.
“We should,” said Clay. “And we will. I’ve never—I’ve never gone this slow, but I want to go slow. For you.”
Sweeping his hand along Clay’s face, Austin kissed him again, sending that same charge of energy through Clay, the same thrill of desire, warmth pooling in his groin, the back of his neck heating up.
In a flickering part of his mind, Clay knew Mona was an idiot and was missing out, and then he shoved that away, because he never wanted to think about her again. Or at least not until Austin needed to talk about her, which Clay imagined he would, one day.
“Goodnight,” said Austin, with one last kiss, a tuck of Clay’s hair behind his ear. A smile, those dark eyes pulling Clay into them. It took all of his will to resist. “See you at breakfast?”
“Yes, please,” said Clay, giddy as a kid at the prospect. “Bright and early, right?”
“Yes.”
Austin dropped his hands, turned, and walked in the direction of the staff quarters. Which, thank goodness, he had more willpower than Clay did.
Clay was all for doing it now—but Austin deserved more. Deserved his patience and his care. Austin made him feel different from any fast fuck, any chance encounter, made him feel good all over, inside and out. And if waiting would help Austin? Then Clay would wait till the ends of the earth and that was the truth, plain and simple.
He waited a good five minutes, saying hello to the staff who passed him on the path, directing guests who’d wandered into the glade when they meant to go past the fire pit to their cabins overlooking the river. Went back, even, to help clean up after the dance, anything to keep him occupied so he could give Austin a chance to get to his room without Clay jumping him and folding him in an embrace, which would surely lead to more than Austin was ready for.
After Leland thanked them all, and he and Jamie headed off to their cabin, Clay made his way upstairs to his room, took the hottest shower ever. He thought about rinsing off cold to stave off any last lingering desire, then decided against that.
Then, dressed in nothing, squeaky clean from his shower, opened the windows wide, pulled back the sheets, and lay in the bed, body pulled tight, the breeze sweeping across his skin, cooling him. Goosebumps prickled on his body as he curled and uncurled his toes, still amazed at how it had gone between him and Austin.
His cock pressed against his belly, hard and ready to go. With one hand, he caressed it and thought about how quickly he might jerk off so he could go to sleep. He gripped himself, silky skin over muscle and blood pumping just below the surface. Swiped his thumb across the top of his cock, felt the moisture there, drew the scent of his own excitement into his lungs. And then paused—
Should he wait like a bridegroom might wait for his wedding night? Or, more to the point, should he wait until Austin was ready?
It would be like a kind of gift, wouldn’t it, to do that? Of course he wouldn’t tell Austin, even though Austin might feel less alone if he did because Austin being Austin might feel obligated to rush himself, push himself. And that wouldn’t be good for either of them, that type of pressure.
Maybe, since he was already worked up, he would go just this one time, and then, come morning, he would work it out with cold showers and hard work and the promise he’d made to Austin to take it slow.
Clay’s chest rose and fell, like small gasps at the idea of it. That he’d made a promise to another man, one that he knew, and continued to know. Someone he shared meals with, who seemed to like, simply, to be with him.
No one had ever done that for Clay, or wanted that from Clay. Having quick fucks all over the place meantbeinga quick fuck, meant being less than nothing to anyone. But not to Austin. He’d made the leap for Clay. Wanted to be with him. Sought him out. Over and over and over.
He petted his cock with one long, soft stroke.
“Easy, little man,” said Clay, whispering. “You’ll get your turn soon. And it’ll be better with someone you care about. I promise you.”
He easily fell asleep, but in the morning, his cock woke up before he did and as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and ground the heel of his palm against his forehead, he struggled. Took a cold shower, and then turned it to hot, as punishing himself wasn’t going to work.
Then, standing there in the shower, dripping, water in his eyes, he slid his hands down, grasped his cock, and tried to make it stand down, which it wouldn’t do. Quickly, one hand braced against the shower wall, he jerked himself off, body swimming in pleasure when he came, thoughts of Austin standing in a field of green grass, painting Clay with his precious watercolors. Tiptoeing down the hall to slip the painting beneath Clay’s door.
Slick semen slid down his leg. He wiped himself down with the used washcloth, then stepped out of the shower to shave and dress and get ready for Friday. And for Austin, whom he spotted as he got in line for the breakfast buffet.
