Brody and Clay chuckled and poked at each other with their elbows. Leland was blushing, hot under his collar, and Jamie could tell he was uncomfortable.
“You leave him alone,” Jamie said, tart in his own way.
Leland didn’t deserve to be teased, but when he looked at Jamie and smiled, Jamie could tell he didn’t really mind, it was all part of the gentle play between him and the people he worked with. And all at once Jamie wanted to take Leland in his arms and kiss him everywhere he could, just because he could.
“We can move the courtship along, now,” Jamie said, low, ducking his head to look up at Leland. Who was so tall, just so tall. Jamie loved the warmth that moved through him at the thought of being in bed with Leland and not having to hide or hurry off afterwards. He imagined their legs tangled beneath the sheets, the silky feel of Leland’s skin beneath his palms. Leland’s breath stirring his hair.
Leland paused, his fork in front of his mouth, and Jamie knew, right then and there, that Leland was holding himself back for Jamie’s benefit. And while Jamie was new to this old-fashioned courtship, new to being with another man, he was not such a tender butterfly as all that. He wanted to be with Leland. Right now. His head was dizzy with wanting Leland, and he had to adjust himself in his jeans as he waited for to lower his fork and respond.
“Sure,” Leland said, a blush creeping along his neck like a sweet pink scarf. “You finished?”
“Yes,” Jamie said. He stood up and pushed back his chair so loudly that all eyes were upon him. Yes, everyone in the dining hall was looking at him, and looking at Leland as he stood up, too. But rather than anything else, the only expressions he saw were smiles, hundreds of them, it felt like, as though, any minute, everybody was going to burst out with applause. “Let’s go.”
Leland nodded and Jamie followed him up to the bussing area. After, Leland wrapped his arm around Jamie’s waist and scooted them both out of the dining hall, as though he’d been holding himself back all this while. It was nice to be wanted. Nice to be treated with such care. Jamie wasn’t used to it, but he liked it.
By some unspoken agreement, perhaps as they kissed beneath the sweet-scented pine trees, still warm as the evening grew cool, they came to Leland’s little foreman cottage. Inside the front door, with all the lights off, the only light came through the windows from the front porch, Jamie started unbuttoning the pearl-snap buttons on Leland’s shirt, shadows and light, his fingers quick, insistent. As Leland undid Jamie’s regular buttons, he seemed fumble-fingered, and maybe nervous, so Jamie put his hands on Leland’s, and held Leland’s hands pressed to his chest.
“It’s fine,” Jamie said. “Whatever it is, it’s fine. I’m okay. I want to be here with you.”
Leland kissed him then, long and slow, his mouth on Jamie’s feeling like devotion and want, all rolled up together. And yes, a little like he was holding himself back still. So Jamie undid the rest of Leland’s buttons and spread his shirt wide and bent close to suck on the curve of Leland’s chest and run his hands across his naked ribs and bring Leland into the light of joy that he’d brought to Jamie, simply by coming on horseback to get him and taking him back to the ranch.
It was the job, but it was more than that. It was Leland’s acceptance and his strength in everything he did. Drove Jamie wild, somehow, and he undid the button on Leland’s jeans and unbuckled his belt, and pushed back the cloth so he could cup Leland’s hips where they poked above the waistline of his jeans.
Leland made a sound, a low grunt of surprise, like Jamie had just given him everything he wanted, only he’d never known how to ask for it. It did something to Jamie’s heart to think of him like that, wanting and never asking.
Jamie wanted to give everything to Leland, whatever he wanted, and while it might take some time to find out what all that was, Jamie knew something he liked, something he could do right then. He climbed up Leland’s body and hooked his legs around Leland’s waist and buried his head in the curve of Leland’s neck and held on. Like Leland was the only thing worth holding onto, the thing Jamie loved best.
Leland’s skin was warm beneath Jamie’s cheek, and when Leland’s arms enfolded him, Jamie was flooded with the feeling of being safe, of being held as Leland carried him into the bedroom. There, Leland placed him on the bed as though Jamie were made of bone china, and loomed in the darkness as he took off the rest of his clothes. Jamie stripped off the rest of his clothes and dragged Leland down to him so they could lie together, skin to skin, their hearts beating hard, Leland’s breath on Jamie’s cheek.
“I like the way you court,” Jamie said, so there would be no doubt in Leland’s mind that Jamie wanted this, wanted what they were doing. “We’re both naked now. You gonna kiss me, or what?”
“I’ll do my damnedest,” Leland said, his voice breathy and low, rumbling up from his chest like a growl, like he’d just let loose the wild wolf inside of him.
He rolled to Jamie, and took Jamie in his arms, half covering him with his body as he kissed and then kissed Jamie again, leaving him breathless. Leland’s thighs were dense upon Jamie’s thighs, the bulk of Leland’s body pressing him into the mattress, his knee sliding up to press Jamie’s thighs apart. Silky warm in the half-darkness, skin on skin, Leland’s breath came in shudders as he kissed Jamie, on the mouth, on his cheek, sweet kisses on his neck.
Leland never asked what Jamie liked, not out loud, but with his fingers, the palms of his hands, he learned. It was as though he was reading Jamie in the half-dark, sighing with Jamie’s sighs, kissing him there behind his ear, again and then again.
When Leland’s hand curled around the base of Jamie’s cock, whisper-light at first, then tight and firm, Leland’s breath stuttered against his chest as though he was staggering with want. Then he kissed Jamie’s belly and kissed lower down, teasing his fingers through the wiry hair between his legs, and finally, with a gasp, took Jamie’s cock in his mouth so lovingly and slowly that his hips jerked to get it in that mouth, that round, warm sucking space.
While Leland sucked and teased, his mouth warm, he pressed his palm between Jamie’s legs, snugging his balls upward so he could stop to lick them, and suck and pull a little bit, all with a constant rhythm, a determined rhythm.
Small sounds echoed that rhythm in the half-dark, and Jamie knew those sounds were coming out of his mouth and he couldn’t seem to stop them. It wasn’t long before his belly sank to his spine, and his hips rolled as he clasped Leland’s shoulders, half lifting off the bed as he came in Leland’s mouth. Feeling as though Leland had released all his inner demons, taking them in, banishing them.
As Jamie fell back on the bed, Leland moved up, covering him with his whole body, elbows on either side of his head, a protective cave where he left small, warm kisses on Jamie’s closed eyes. He sweetly kissed Jamie’s mouth, and sighed, really, really deeply, like he’d come to some treasured, secret place after having searched for it so long. Jamie blinked and opened his eyes and clasped Leland’s face.
“I’m here,” he said, whispering, tender. “I’m here, Leland.”
With a shudder, Leland buried his face in Jamie’s neck, and rolled off, and pulled Jamie to him.
As they settled in the curve of each other’s bodies, their breathing slowed, always in sync, and the warm night drifted around them. From an open window came cool breezes from Iron Mountain, and the faraway, lonely, high-pitched howl of coyotes. Jamie had never really heard coyotes before coming to the ranch, but he knew that’s what they must be.
“Coyotes?” Jamie asked.
“Yes,” Leland said, his fingers trailing through Jamie’s hair, tangling in it. “They’re crying for the moon.”
Jamie’s throat ached at the thought of it, of wild things crying for something they could never have. And how rough Leland’s voice had been when he’d said that, as if he, too, had been crying for something he could never have. Did he have it now? Could Jamie give it to him? What did he want?
All these things and more, Jamie wanted to know so he could carve a place for Leland in his heart, hold Leland in his arms, and make him feel safe, the way he had held Jamie and made him feel safe.
