Sighing, Liam rose, and loath as he was to, he released Rebecca’s hands and returned to the hearth. This wasn’t how he’d imagined having this conversation, but then, Fate was a cruel mistress. So he would tell her why he’d truly come back. Somewhere in his heart he was grateful—the choice he’d been dreading was being made for him.
I will run; for her.
‘I only came back to rid myself of the Earldom,’ he said, turning to face her.
‘Is that even possible?’ She frowned, searching his eyes for the lie.
‘No.’
Raking his fingers through his hair, he tried to find the words that would make her understand, that would make her stop looking at him that way.
As if she doesn’t know me at all.
‘This life was never for me. The people who live on the estates need—deserve—a strong hand to lead them. To care for the lands, and them. That is not me. It never was, and never will be. I came back to rid myself of it all, make the arrangements for the title to pass to my cousin. But Leonards could not find a way. So we’ll leave.’
‘You want to run again. After that scene out there,’ Rebecca said, emotion tightening her voice and his heart with it, ‘your offer is to run again?’
‘I have means,’ he pressed on, knowing it all sounded as weak as it felt. ‘We will be safe. We’ll be happy.’
‘No, we won’t, Liam!’ she shouted, jumping to her feet, the blanket falling back like a cape.
She tossed her glass onto the table disgustedly, and his heart fell to his boots.
‘I don’twantto run anymore! I do so because I have no other choice! But you... You ran halfway across the world,’ she said, her eyes pleading, anger melting into sorrow. ‘Still you found no peace.’
No, no, no...
‘If we were together—’
‘Not like that. I can’t.’ She shrugged weakly, biting back tears.
He took a step towards her, but she pulled away.
‘You’re not the man I thought you were.’
Liam froze, halted in his tracks by the words his heart had feared all along. He’d always known what she would think of him if he told her the truth, but hearing it now...
‘You’re a coward, Liam.’
‘What are you, then?’ he spat, the harshness in her eyes spurring on his own, anger mingling with guilt and despair in his breast.
‘God only knows. What I do know are my limitations. When a battle cannot be won.’
‘So you retreat?’
He hated himself for hurting her, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go, any of this.
‘Yes,’ she seethed. ‘Call it cowardice, or self-preservation—what you will. But you...you have a name, a title, means, as you say. You havepower. To be, to build, whatever you wish.’
Liam turned away, back to his old companions the flames, but her words would not release him.Shewould not release him.
‘You searched for ten years—or rather, I think, your entire life—for some ideal world. And you failed to find it. Instead of staying, and fighting to make that world yourself, you would run again. For how long, Liam? How far?’
‘As long and far as it takes.’
‘You will destroy yourself on that path,’ she croaked.
He felt tears of his own burning his eyes.
