Liam did return the following day, and the day after. He continued to read to Rebecca, as though they’d agreed that this was how she would pass the time recovering, with him.
The others might have had something to say, if Liam hadn’t given them a look to warn that he would broach no comment on the matter.
It was all kinds of improper. Everything about their living situation, about Thornhallow in general, was improper and should be frowned upon. But Liam was well past caring. Any reason he might still have had, disappeared with Rebecca’s illness.
But the respite would not—couldnot—last forever; that much was clear.
They both knew, as he finishedNorthanger Abbey, that their time was at its end.
‘May I ask,’ Liam said, his lip curling faintly upwards as he leaned back in the chair, the final volume safely stowed in his pocket. ‘Well, that is, you see, when I was... When you were...’ Liam’s eyes roamed across her body as he searched for the words to describe what he referred to in a gentlemanly manner. ‘I may have glimpsed some of your...’
‘Tattoos, my lord,’ Rebecca said firmly. ‘I have no shame in calling them thus.’
There was no judgement in his eyes, she noted then. Only curiosity and, most frightening of all, warm complicity.
She could not resist, and somewhere deep down, she wanted him to know. As much as she longed to know him, she also wanted him to know and understandher. Fully. To understand everything she was, for then she could be very certain indeed that he would never be tempted by the familiarity which had grown between them again.
For men like him, innocence was everything when payment was not involved.
‘Yes, quite. And why, I wonder, Miss Merrickson, do you have them?’
‘When they are sinful, and naught but for sailors and scum? It’s all right,’ she reassured him when he winced. ‘They are memories, things I did not wish to forget. Some ladies have diaries; I am quite incapable of keeping one, so...’
‘So you have those instead? Quite an alternative... Did they hurt?’ he asked suddenly.
‘A little. One gets used to it, I suppose.’
‘Interesting... And...’
‘You may ask,’ she said softly when he stopped himself. ‘I will not be offended.’
‘Well, were you never concerned that...well, that is, that a man, a suitor, perhaps...’
Rebecca chuckled again, enjoying his discomfort.
Liam’s cheeks reddened. ‘I know you’ve said that, well, that you hadn’t considered it, but... Oh, forgive me, I really do go too far.’
‘You know so many of my secrets already, what is one more?’
Liam bowed his head slightly.
‘Even before I was forced to run, I never imagined...marriage, settling down with a good and proper husband, as part of my future.’
She couldn’t quite remember what shehadimagined, only that there was adventure.
Shaking her head, Rebecca continued. ‘But when I left home, my future was cemented. And I had made no vow of celibacy.’
Rebecca watched his expression darken as he grasped her meaning.
There it is...the realisation...
‘The truth is, the first time I took a man to bed...I did it so that if my prince ever found me, I would not be... You understand. I wanted to reclaim my own body. So it was with the tattoos, I suppose. And, as it happens, I enjoyed myself. Over the years I found solace, and pleasure, in the arms of men—discreetly. None were offended by my tattoos, nor my lack of virtue. But then, I asked for nothing more than an evening or two. I only... I wanted to feel less alone,’ she admitted quietly, before she could prevent her tongue running away with her.
She felt as though if anyone could ever understand, it might be him.
‘I could make no friends, never get close to anyone, be part of a family again, save in that way. For one small moment in time, I had a measure of closeness.’
‘And your heart was safe,’ Liam said flatly.
