The only positive outcome of this new way of living was that he hadn’t suffered any more nightmares since Rebecca had found him. Unpleasant recollections haunted him by day, but by night he slept, most often dreamlessly, and without consequence to the furniture or staff.
Though still he could not bring himself to visit the one part of the house which called to him. Every day he tried to, brought himself a little closer, but as he grew nearer, the harder his approach became.
Occasionally, when the oppression and emptiness of the house became too much to bear, Liam would ride out at breakneck speed, to exorcise the demons gnawing at him the only way he knew how. The thrill of danger, the exercise, the sweat and power of the beast beneath him, the wind whistling past, all numbed his mind—if only for a moment.
‘Was gettin’ worried, my lord,’ Tim said, as he walked Orpheus back into the stables after one such ride. He was a strong, swift beast, and of a surprisingly gentle nature despite his breeding. ‘Was going to send Sam out if you hadn’t made it back before nightfall.’
‘I did not see the time pass.’ Liam smiled wanly. ‘And I didn’t mean to worry you. Oh, it’s all right, Tim,’ he added as the groom moved to take the reins. ‘I will look after Orpheus. It will cool my blood as well as his.’
‘As you wish, my lord,’ Tim said, tugging at his forelock. ‘I’ll finish settling the others for the night, then.’
‘How is he settling in with the others?’ Liam asked as he began his ministrations. ‘Not too much trouble with old Thackeray there?’
‘Oh, no. Years ago, perhaps, when he was still a young chap. But Thack’s gettin’ older, just like the rest of us. Calmer now than when your father rode him. Ain’t taken no issue with your young ’un yet.’ The groom chuckled, making his way down the boxes, checking the horses were all comfortably set for the night ahead. ‘And ol’ Arty and Callie, here, they’re sweet as always. Don’t reckon they mind a young buck around again either.’
Artemis and Calliope.
His sister’s horses, which neither he nor his father had found it in themselves to be rid of. He smiled despite himself as he brushed Orpheus, remembering the smile on Hal’s face as she proudly rode Calliope for the first time, convinced she was Boadicea herself.
And then an image of the three of them, all riding through the park, Hal, his mother and he, side by side, flashed before his eyes. It was an image born of his imagination, of a past which had never been, but might have changed everything.
So alike... You might’ve saved her, Mother, when I could not...
‘Sure did love these horses, she did, Lady Hal,’ Tim said wistfully, echoing Liam’s thoughts as he patted Callie goodnight. ‘And they loved her. Knew what a sweet spirit she was.’
‘I miss her, Tim,’ Liam blurted out, before he could stop himself, the swelling of emotion too much to contain. ‘Coming back here...’
‘I know, Master Reid, I know. We all do. And we all know, what happened—’
‘I think I should let you see to Orpheus after all,’ he said abruptly, unwilling to delve any further into the past he had ridden out to escape.
‘O’ course, my lord. Goodnight, then.’
‘Goodnight, Tim.’
Liam fled the stables before his emotions could overwhelm him, before Tim could see the tears that had escaped and slid down his cheeks.
Please, Hal, set me free...
Chapter Seven
‘Iam sorry, my lord, I thought you still in your study,’ Rebecca said later that evening, retreating back towards the door as soon as she spotted the master, deep in thought, far away from the crystal decanters he loomed over without seeing. The flames lanced through the glass, and sent tiny rainbows dancing across his face.
It’s for noticing little useless details such as that you’ve exiled yourself from his presence, you goose.
‘I shall leave you.’
‘I would be working if I thought I could achieve anything further. Come, now, do not be absurd,’ Liam growled, waving her back in as he poured himself a whisky. ‘Take your pick of the books. I may have behaved rather boorishly thus far, Mrs Hardwicke, but I am not entirely tyrannical.’
‘Thank you, my lord,’ she said, shyly coming back in and perusing the shelves.
Yes, it’s because he behaved a beast that you’ve steered clear. No other reason at all.
‘If I may, you have not been boorish, my lord. I overstepped my bounds on many occasions, and I do not know any other master who would allow me such pleasures as books, or even a position after the way I behaved.’
‘Yes, well,’ Liam said, his lip curling in a sardonic smile as he watched her. ‘We have both behaved badly and we have spoken enough of it, I think.’
Rebecca shot him a quizzical look and, noting his half-smile, responded in kind before hurriedly turning back to the shelves. Still, she could feel his gaze raking her, as tangible as the whisper of his fingers across her bruises that morning...
