That—coupled with the grief of Tony’s loss, multiplied by this alpha’s cruelty—induces the breakdown.
Huddling for warmth, I cry hysterically on the ground as my entire world drops out from underneath me.
And it is in that moment I truly realize how attached I grew to Charles in the short time we knew each other.
“I’m a farmer.”
My lips curl up on their own at the words. “A farmer? Of what?”
“Milk mostly. It is a family farm and while we don’t need it really, I wanted to carry on their legacy. It was my sister’s favorite place growing up. Where her son was born. And the cows are all sweethearts. Except Ruth—she’s an angry young heifer.”
Her son.
I want to ask him what happened to her son. But I don’t. There are some questions that can cause the other person agony. And I don’t want to hurt this alpha.
My own pain subsides, but it is now overwhelmingly replaced with an aching desire.
“We don’t have much time,” I warn him. Getting to my feet haphazardly, I walk to where the birth control is.
“I’m ready whenever you are. Keep asking me questions until then. And can I ask you some too?”
“Yes,” I answer easily. Opening the bottle, I place the pill on my tongue and swallow it dry.
“If the world were to dissolve into nothingness, would you be happy with where you are in it? With all you have done?”
His questions cause my breath to leave me. I mull his words over, wanting to answer them to my best ability. My eyes scrape across the room I stand in. On all the choices that wound up with me in this room in the middle of a heat clinic. Of the happiness I shared with Tony. Of our hardships.
Of his choices that ultimately led to his death.
Of me pleading with him.
Of him not listening to me.
Of the drugs that warped our loving relationship into something nearly unrecognizable.
“Yes and no.” Instead of returning to the wall, I settle back into the couch, needing the extra comfort.
I have never spoken my truth out loud. Not to Serena. Not even to myself.
“I loved my alpha. We were so incredibly happy. But he comes from a bad family and it was only a matter of time before they got their claws back into him. And then he started coming homedifferent.I wish I had seen the signs. Wish I had done more to help him. But by the time I gained the courage, it was too late.”
The alpha on the other side of the wall inhales sharply. “Sweet Little Omega. I promise you that you cannot fix those who do not see themselves as broken. I figured this out with my sister. I tried everything I could to keep her on this plane. To remind her of her son. To instill in her the importance of her existence. But it didn’t matter. I couldn’t get through to her. For a while I blamed myself, but ultimately, I have to believe I did the best I could. It wasn’t my fault. Just like it wasn’t yours.”
My heart clenches in empathy for this stranger. For his hardships. The evidence of his scars. For his sister’s son who was left behind in the wake of this tragedy. Again, I want to ask about her son, but I don’t.
“Thank you,” I whisper. “I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that.”
“Listen, there's something I need to tell you.” The alpha’s sultry voice turns urgent.
“What is—” That is all I am able to get out before my vision darkens, my entire body lighting up, my desire shooting out across my nerves from my fingertips to my toes.
I recognize at this moment:we have run out of time.
“Now. I’m going to use the scent-blockers and then I will be in the nest. Five minutes. Please, Luck.” The words come out slurred, broken.
“I understand. I will be there, Nia. You will make it through this. I will be here with you every single step of the way.”
My heart warms at his promise as I bolt to the bathroom. Using the last of my reserves to clean myself and prepare for what is to come.
