“You know shifting’s not the same for me.”
I slammed the tailgate shut, and Case pushed closer, lounging his arm on the back of my truck while dropping his voice. “You know there’s nothing like running through the woods Easter day. This would be the perfect time to bond with the pack. Try to fit in.”
I shot the silver-haired wolf a hot glare as I shoved my hand in my shirt pocket and fished out the squished pack of cigarettes, plucking one out and lighting it. “How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t give a single fuck about blending in?”
There was conviction in my words, but they hadn’t always been true. There’d been a time, not so long ago, that I cared about fitting in with the only family I’d ever known.
“Look.” Casey sighed, waving away the cloud of cigarette smoke spiraling between us. “Lars has been talking shit again. I just think joining the Hunt will get him off your ass.”
My muscles tensed at the mention of our alpha. “Lars has been talking shit since we were kids. That son of a bitch loves to run his jaw, nothing new.”
My twin’s brows gnashed as he helped himself to a cigarette and a light. “Come on, Carver. Now that he’s alpha, the pack actually listens to the shit he spews. He’s been telling them your beast doesn’t speak to you, says that it’s rejected you.”
“Asshole has to get a damn hobby if all he has to talk about is me,” I mumbled. “Anyway, it’s true, isn’t it? I can shift just like everyone else.”
“Yeah, but…” He swept his eyes over the driveway of the packhouse where some of the others gathered, preparing to head into the woods for the Hunt. The promise of prey blood come sundown had the air hot and buzzing with bloodlust. Confident that no one was listening, Casey turned back to me with a weighted expression etched on his face. “Your beast doesn’t speak to you.”
It wasn’t a question. He knew. He was the only one I’d ever told.
“So?”
He chewed on the butt of the cigarette dangling from his lips. “What’s it like? Not having a mental link with it?”
I didn’t like talking about it, and he knew that. Normally, he didn’t press the subject.
“It’s quiet,” I answered with a low growl, warning him I wasn’t in the mood to discuss this now. The sun was setting, and I needed to prepare for my role in the Hunt. I wouldn’t be an active participant, but I had a job to do just like everyone else.
“It’s gotta be weird not having a voice in your head constantly telling you to murder and maim. Even if you don’t need to sate the Hunger, joining the Hunt might make the rumors go away.”
“I ate part of your kill last year. Doesn’t that count as participation?”
It had been a year ago to the day, and I could still taste that poor girl on my tongue. Her fear had made her flesh sour and sweet all at once. It had taken everything in me to stomach the few bites I’d taken.
I’d decided that would be the last I ever try to “fit in” with my pack. And it hadn’t been worth it anyway since my wolf hadn’t so much as a twitch of a reaction.
Casey grinned at the mention of the sacrifice he’d killed last Hunt. “Sorry. Doesn’t count. Eating a sacrifice and being the wolf to catch it are two different things. The wolves who catch the sacrifices are always worshiped for the rest of the year. Good way to get a mate. It’s how I pulled Lila.”
Like magic, the small woman with wavy black hair appeared seemingly out of nowhere and wrapped her arms around my brother’s waist. “What are we talking about?”
Case twisted around to pull Lila into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “How being one of the wolves to kill a sacrifice in the Hunt is the best way to win a beautiful mate.”
“You think you won me because of your trophy kill?” Lila playfully patted her mate’s face, knocking the cigarette from his mouth. “That’s so cute. Everyone knows my wolf chose yours because of looks, babe. And since you and Carver are identical twins, she just eenie-meenie-moed that shit.”
Casey nipped playfully at Lila’s ear, growling that low growl that had her turning to putty in his arms. His hands slid to her belly, which was just starting to show with their unborn cub.
I abruptly turned on my heel and opened the door to my truck. Before I could climb in, Case was in my way.
“Hey, think about what I said, yeah? Taking a mate might help you fit in better. Might get Lars off your ass. And you can’t just wait around for your wolf to select a true mate for you. Since it doesn’t speak to you, it might never?—”
I grabbed my brother by the collar of his shirt and slammed him against the side of my truck. Everyone turned to look at us, but I didn’t care. “I’m going to say this one last time. I don’t need a mate. So just give it a rest,” I snarled louder than I meant to.
“Yeah, give it a rest, Casey. Don’t you know your brother is content living alone in his cabin, rutting his right hand forever? Probably for the best he doesn’t mate. Wouldn’t want to risk spreading whatever’s wrong with his wolf to a cub.”
I released my brother and slowly turned to find Lars standing behind me.
Our alpha was shorter and had a slighter build than me. I could take him in a fight, in either form. I wanted nothing more than to sucker punch him in the gut. Too bad initiating any physical contact with the pack leader was regarded as an official challenge for the place as alpha. That meant a fight to the death.
It would be fun being the reason this asshole breathed his last breath, but I had no interest in leading the pack. So, I settled with flipping him off, accompanied by a terse grin that was all teeth, before climbing into my truck.
