“Please. Don’t.” Even as the words came out of my mouth, they came out fragile and unsure.
Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure of what I wanted anymore.
I was no longer in my monster form but I still felt like I was caught between monster and human. I wanted Vincent so much I could feel it down to the very center of my being. At the same time, my thoughts were filled with silver eyes, snow-white hair, and silken sweet words that would never cut into me like Vin’s.
Hearing my uncertainty, I expected my mate to take the opening and advance his attacks. Of course, that’s what I expected him to do, so once again he confused me by easing off me. He collapsed into the bed next to me. He weighed so much, I rolled into the dip the mattress created and came to rest against him. He tucked me against his frame, his touch so tender and unlike him.
His thick fingers just swirled gentle circles over my flesh, as if trying to soothe me and fend off my anxiety all in one uncharacteristically gentle gesture.
“I’m sorry.” His voice was almost completely void of his monster.
I peeked up at him through my mane of red hair to see his eyes of green staring back at me. It always caught me off guard when he apologized. “We have a deal. You don’t get to touch me before the wedding ceremony.”
Just like that, his eyes bled back to that dark-as-night black. “That wasn’t a part of the deal. But,” he added, his voice softening, “if you don’t want me to touch you, I won’t.”
Frustration twisted my throat. “I want to trust you. Sterling didn’t seem so sure about you keeping your promise not to go through with the ceremony as intended.”
The fae’s brows furrowed. “I understand his reservations. The priest is highly intelligent, but he doesn’t know what it’s like to be a hybrid. I have been a vampire for over a decade but my fae side reawakened only recently. I’m like a youngblood but...”
“Ten times more chaotic,” I answered for him when he trailed off.
“Sterling doesn’t understand the kind of war that rages inside us. He doesn’t understand just how damn hard it is trying to make two pieces of two different puzzles fit together. But I’m making them fit.”
I gave a slow nod. I knew exactly what he was talking about. The others didn’t understand. Sometimes it felt like I was two halves of two different people and Vin probably felt it three times worse than I could. At least I was two parts of a species from the same planet.
I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, chewing on my soft flesh, deep in thought. His thumb swiped over my mouth, silently and politely asking for my attention. I met his gaze again and found his eyes that complicated swirl of green and black.
“I’m trying to find the balance between my monster and the vampire, Ruby. Neither side wants to hurt you. I know my motives seem foggy, but this arrangement of ours is what’s best for everyone. This way the fae within me will be satisfied. By carrying through the ceremony, you will be giving the part of your mate that is still fae the greatest gift, and that is peace.”
I blinked at him, eyes getting all watery. “Peace?”
“Yes. Peace. That will be your gift to me when you become my fae bride, Ruby. Whether my mother likes you or not, she and all my people know you will one day carry my child. Hybrid or not, our child will be fae. A shapeshifter. And they will rule my people and bring them into the next era.”
“How can they be sure?” I sniffed, emotion making my chest tight.
“They aren’t. But that doesn’t matter. I am.” He was on top of me again, his arms circling my head in an embrace that didn't demand anything.
I closed my eyes, trying to gather my rioting thoughts. Maybe he would keep his promise. The one where he wouldn’t cum inside me during the wedding ceremony, and he would take me home before my father showed up on the coven’s doorstep to destroy everything I loved.
The survival of the vampire kingdom, my home, and the lives of my other mates were riding on Vincent keeping his word.
After everything that happened to me, growing up in a suburban cell, living a lie, and getting thrown into vampire life, my trust was a rarity. Something that had to be earned. And Vincent Feral was not exactly my most trustworthy mate.
But fuck me. I trusted him. I wasn’t sure why, maybe it was because of how something between us had shifted. The way he held me was softer. The way he spoke to me was kinder, filled with more respect.
He was trying to quell his monster. I knew that by the traces of his other side present in everything he was doing. And the way he looked at me. With hope, with love.
With vulnerability.
It had to be real this time. It just had to be. Because if it wasn’t? Well, then it was on to plan B. And plan B would be devastatingly brutal. Ruthless. Something that would make my father proud. The thought of using my father’s darkest magic to force Vincent to take me home made me physically ill.
He wouldn’t survive it. And I wasn’t so sure I would either.
So what else was there to do but trust that this time, he wouldn’t break my heart?
The fear of his potential betrayal must have been so palpable in the air because Vin started making comfortingshushingsounds.
“I bet you didn’t tell your mom that we’re leaving here in a couple of days.”
