Nyx was chuckling to herself, and I didn’t correct her when she used her pet name for her sister. It didn’t seem right correcting her. “I’ll never forget what you said next. ‘Of course, you can see the whole world when you look at them. You’re their mother.’
“You had always been like that. Looking death and doom and terror dead in the eyes and then flipping it off with a smile.”
I closed my eyes as she spoke, imagining every detail of that night. My sister’s screams. Her throat dry and cracked as she entered into yet another hour of her unholy labor. I had held her hand through it all as a demon witch of the Hecate bloodline eased her through the birth. An entire civilization could have rose and fell for all I knew by the time the first girl arrived. When her fingers curled around my finger and I stared into her eyes, I could see a glimpse of my own future. A tall man with lush lips that would please any female. A masculine form too slender for a demon, too imposing for a soul. Hair as dark as the Abyss and golden eyes filled with promise. It was in the eyes of my newborn niece, the oldest of The Fates, that I saw my whole future.
The memory penetrated an armor I hadn’t even known I was wearing, striking a chord deep inside.
Tears smothered my vision, and Lucifer’s form blurred. “I remember…” My knees buckled beneath me and my back slammed into the elevator. I clutched my head in my hands, thick, swollen sobs catching in my throat. “I remember.I remember.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jessica
The River Styx – Past
It would be impossible to guess how long we’d spent crossing the river of souls. Time had no meaning here. There was nothing but the stretch of crimson sky ahead, the blood-red waters below, and the hallow moans of the sullen souls floating alongside our boat. Their cries had long since faded to nothing but white noise, buzzing in the back of my skull.
My only comfort was the fact that the river of souls did not go on forever, and eventually, we’d cross over to the other side.
“We’re lost,” a masculine voice gritted in my ear, his words raspy from lack of water. I looked over at the sullied celestial, our new king.
The moment I watched the celestial pull himself from the Ninth Circle’s frozen lake, his clothes burned away from the heat of the fall, his muscles bulging, and his skin steaming, I knew he was the one.
The man from my niece’s vision. What I didn’t anticipate was the kind of effect he would have on me. His scent was so damn good, like ash and aged leather and sinful male. His hypnotic eyes were molten gold, hotter than the lava pits in the Sixth Circle.
I kept telling myself that I chose to go through hell with him, rebuilding it layer by layer simply because it pissed Abaddon off.
My husband wasn’t happy. A celestial of all things stole his crown, and he was probably currently under the impression he’d stolen me too. Even if I’d already left the archdemon long before Lucifer fell.
But Abbadon was a sadistic monster, and leaving him wasn’t so easy when I knew he’d eventually find me again. How lucky I was that this time when he tracked me down, he’d found me with another male. One that had kicked his ass to the brimstone, took his crown and spurred a new era of Hell.
But I would be lying to myself if I said following the new king up through the layers was simply a “fuck you” to Abaddon.
There was something else, something deeply instinctual pushing me to follow Lucifer and the path he was haphazardly hacking for himself with a machete and an unholy vendetta. It was something more profound. Something deeper.
Maybe it was the fact that the moment I laid eyes on him, my beast went eerily silent. I savored the peace, though it made me wary. It was almost like she was in there, quietly plotting. Waiting.
“We’re not lost. For the millionth time, we’re going in the right direction. In the very least, we’re bound to cross the path of the ferryman soon, and he can take us to the other side.”
Lucifer pulled himself up from where he’d been lying at the bottom of the skiff and propped his back against the wood paneling, his eyes narrowing into golden slits. “Oh yes, theferryman. Oursavior.”
The celestial’s upper lip curled. “You know the only reason I agreed to take you with me is because I thought the Queen of Hell would know her way through her own realm.”
He’s lying, my beast told me, taking me by surprise. When it had come to the new king, she hadn’t been extraordinarily quiet.
My insides did a somersault. Was he lying? Had he taken me along for different reasons other than as a guide? If so, he hadn’t exposed those reasons yet. So far, he had just complained a lot and made a ton of sarcastic jokes about my navigation skills, or lack thereof. He was lucky he was three times the king than Abaddon. It made his sarcasm easier to deal with.
“I never wanted to be queen,” I murmured as I wrapped my arms tightly around my legs, drawing my knees up beneath my chin. My gaze dropped to the worn boards of the skiff’s hull. “Abaddon never has been a big fan of listening to other people’s opinions or desires.”
I felt the celestial’s eyes pinning me there against the boat’s railing, weighing me down. “What kind of woman doesn’t want to be queen?” he asked.
Despite the mire of ugly emotions unfurling in my chest, I let out a dry laugh. “Queen must be something different in your realm than it is here. For me, there was no fanfare or crown.” The archdemon had picked me from a crowd of females. I didn’t get a choice in the matter. My coronation was me getting bent over a rock while the rest of the realm watched. It was an ugly, brutal memory that made both me and my beast shrivel on the inside. All these years later, it still made us feel small and helpless. And I couldn’t talk about it. Not even with Nyx. Even though deep down, she had to know what I was going through. She had been there that day, as helpless as I to do anything about it.
It was supposed to be some big honor. For me, all it had been was humiliating.
Maybe that’s why I had followed Lucifer deep into Hell. Ever since the first of The Three Fates had gleaned his arrival, with their first breath, I had allowed myself to hope. It didn’t matter how sarcastic he was or how much hatred he carried in his heart for his father. When I looked at Lucifer, I allowed myself to hope.
He nudged the tip of my boot with his, a gentle ask for my gaze. I looked up at him, suddenly feeling extremely tired. This time it had nothing to do with being adrift on the Styx with no food and water and everything to do with the burden of my ex-husband tormenting my thoughts. Lucifer’s golden scrutiny scraped over me. I had no real way to tell, but I somehow knew he wasn’t reading my thoughts but rather the misery on my face.
