I shot her a pointed glare. “This isn’t helping.”
“Well… I get that you’re worried about him and whatever secret he’s hiding, Mel. But hey, you lost your V card! And even if he’s a lying asshole, you lost it to the guy you’ve been in love with for a decade. How was it?”
“It was…wet.”
“Ooooh.”
“Because of the rain.”
She gave a deflated pout. “Oh.”
I felt a lump begin to form in my throat, thinking about Gabriel inside me.
It wasn’t like I had anything to compare it to. It was my first time. But I wasn’t so naive to think that what he’d done to me, that spark between us, was anything close to normal. It was like two puzzle pieces finally fitting together. It was pure, raw, passionate magic, and for me, it had felt so right.
And I knew he felt it too. His tongue could weave lies all night, but his eyes couldn’t. I’d seen the truth bared there when he was buried deep inside me in a carnal kiss I’d dreamt about for years. It was an erotic kiss so fucking sweet it made my head spin and my stomach twist into knots, thinking that we’d never be that close ever again.
I couldn’t tell Jess just how much Gabriel’s rejection hurt me. How empty I felt without him. She’d think me obsessed. She wouldn’t understand the true depths of my relationship with Gabriel.
And I guess tonight proved that I didn’t really understand it either.
Whatever was going on with Gabe, he didn’t trust me enough to confide in me. And that truth hurt like a bitch. What hurt more was that I couldn’t shove him from my head, couldn’t shake that feeling of fullness as he took me into his arms. How safe and wanted I felt when he’d taken me.
I squirmed in my seat, squeezing my thighs together in hopes of sating the throbbing need already building in the wake of his absence.Fuck me.What had he done to me? Why did I hunger for him like some sex-starved, starry-eyed virgin?
Because I am a sex-starved, starry-eyed virgin.
“It was good,” I finally said to Jess, filling the awkward silence. “Hewas good.”
“Well, it sucks he’s being all weird now that you guys have done it. But now that you’ve fucked him out of your system, maybe you can move on.
Fucked him out of my system?Yeah, right. If only.
“Fuck him,” I scoffed. “Fuck him and his stupid huge cock.”
“Huge, huh?”
I held up my hands to demonstrate the size, and her jaw fell open.
“Daaaamn, girl. You must have been in agony. We need to get your poon some ice.” She tried to wave down a passing server, but the woman just slid us a nasty look and passed us by. “What the fuck? Excuse me, I work in healthcare!” Jess jabbed a finger at her scrubs. “I change old peoples’ diapers. If anyone needs a martini and a lap dance, it’s me, girl!”
“Oh my God, Jess.” Finally, a genuine smile returned to my face. “Stop harassing the servers.”
“What? I need to unwind somehow, girl. Not all of us have a hot guardian angel to sweep us off our feet and fuck us with their nine-inch cock.
All the blood in my body ran cold. “What did you just say?”
She gapped at me, thrown off by the epiphany probably evident on my face.
“Not all of us have a guy to fuck us with a nine-inch cock?”
“No, not that. You called him a guardian angel.”
“Yeah, because he saved you from those thugs. It’s an expression.”
To her, she’d meant it only as an expression. But to me, it was a light bulb. Gabriel had talked about angels in the ride over here. He said he didn’t want me coming to Siren’s because Lucifer was the devil himself, a fallen angel. When I met Lucifer outside, he referred to Gabriel as my guardian. It had made no sense at the time, but…
No. That was crazy.
