He needs to feel as if he’s in control,Apollo noticed as Titus gave the driver an address and sat next to him. Given the day they’d had, that was understandable. Titus had probably woken up that morning with his only plans being a business meeting with Apollo’s sister. Since then, he’d heard Apollo pour out his heart to Artemis when he was supposed to be frozen, heard Paulie discuss elements of his personal history as if the facts were about some stranger, and then had to apologize, because yes, Titus had not reacted well.
It wouldn’t be easy for any alpha to date a god. Apollo knew when it came to appearances, he didn’t carry Titus’s muscled physique, and many would see him as easily overpowered and manipulated. But as a god, Apollo could pretty much do whatever he liked, whenever he liked, and for someone like Titus, that wouldn’t be easy for him to adjust to.
He will,Apollo thought.It just might take a while. That kiss Titus gave him was a hint of the depths Apollo was prepared to wait for. For all his talk and apparent lack of feelings, there were emotions Titus had that he clearly needed to find for himself.
/~/~/~/~/
“This is a nice place,” he said, smiling at Titus who held his chair for him as he sat down. The restaurant was tucked off the main road, and as Titus had said, it was a lot less plastic and brightly lit than the truck stop. The place was clearly aiming for a homely vibe.
Apollo stretched out his neck, realizing it was also a relief to have a break from the traffic noise. There was soft music playing,some sort of jazz compilation, which immediately started to soothe Apollo’s mood. There were also delicious smells coming from the kitchen.
“Order whatever you like,” Titus said as he took a seat across the table. “I haven’t had a bad meal here yet. It’s my treat.”
Apollo smiled at that, too. Titus was trying, and that was really important to him. After they’d placed their orders and had gotten what seemed to be mandatory cups of coffee, Titus said, “Do we need to talk about anything you might have heard about me from that app of yours?”
Aww, Titus is definitely trying.The question was delivered as if it were the last thing Titus wanted to ask.“I did have a couple of questions,” Apollo said. “For example, Paulie never explained why you sold your first two trucks, so that was one thing, and I know that you left Nevada later – I assume that was something to do with Lorna. But technically, none of that is really important, as it happened in the past. However…”
Apollo tried to work out how to phrase what he needed to say. “I was a bit worried that I wasn’t as compassionate as I should’ve been about this business with the child. You clearly weren’t aware that you’d been lied to all those years ago, and I imagine that’s why you got angry with my phone. Do you have a lot to do with the boy?”
“Cassius,” Titus said. “Lorna named the boy Cassius. And no, I’ve never seen him in person, only in photos. I understand why now. I’d have scented that he wasn’t mine the moment I went near him.” He shrugged and seemed to be looking at some of the pictures that were arranged around the wood-covered walls. Apollo wasn’t sure he was actually seeing anything except memories of his past.
“I…because there was a child involved, I was determined that Lorna and I should stay together. It was my duty to raise my son. Despite any disagreements that we had or the fact that I had an active sex life outside of our relationship, I still believed that it was important for me to be a part of my child’s life. It’s instinctive, part of my DNA, to protect and provide for my son and his mother, even if I didn’t get along that well with her.”
Apollo frowned. “I’m sure Paulie said you and Lorna had exchanged words of love and you were thinking about bonding with her.”
Ducking his head to one side, Titus scratched the back of his head. “That’s true, but one of the appeals – aside from…yeah, we don’t need to go into that. It turns out I used to say a lot of things when I was chasing my own pleasure and wanting an easy life.” He looked up, and Apollo could see his wolf lurking behind his eyes. “I would never do that to you.”
Apollo accepted the words because they were spoken, and he had no reason not to. Titus believed they were true. “I can see why you would want to support your child and their mother.”
Titus sighed, shaking his head. “I’m glad you can see that. She clearly didn’t, or maybe she did. I could never work out why she would never see me, not once, after she sent me that message breaking up with me. She was a feisty woman – a vampire,” he added, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. “It’s not like she had any reason to be afraid of me. But she cut me off, refused to have anything to do with me from the moment she let me know she was pregnant, and she’s never let me see Cassius at all.
“I tried messaging and calling her, but she blocked me. I sent letters to her through the lawyers, and the only response I got from her lawyer was a picture of the baby after birth.” Titus half-leaned on the table. “I’ve since learned that newborns can look like anyone, according to the eye of the beholder. Someone told me once that it’s one of the many ways a parent forms a bond with a new baby.”
“You have totally lost me. What do you mean by the parental bonding?” Apollo smiled. “In case you hadn’t guessed, I don’t have a lot to do with newborns.”
“If you look at pictures of newborns they all look so similar. Red-faced, wrinkled and all smushed up, some with hair and some without, but there aren’t a lot of distinguishing features.”
“Okay – I’ll take your word for it.”
“Parents look at their babies, picking out features that they believe resemble their own. Gods, this is so embarrassing.” Titus rubbed across the top of his eyes. “I thought Cassius, as a baby had my nose and mouth shape, and he had the same color hair as mine.”
Apollo flicked his eyes up to Titus’s dark hair – not necessarily a distinctive color. But then he clicked. “Ah, you made a connection with him. That’s why you were happy to accept that at least you were financially supporting your child, even if you couldn’t see him.”
Titus nodded.
“I’m so sorry. I should’ve been more understanding about what you were going through,” Apollo said slowly. “I told you gods don’t see everything, but we do see so much – we’ve been around for so long. Because we’re not allowed to interfere in mortal affairs, so many of my kin have to learn not to let things impact us emotionally. If we did, it would be overwhelming.
“One of my kin, somebody older than me, and yes, that is possible,” he added with a chuckle as Titus raised his eyebrows.“The god known as Silvanus – he’s the Mother of All’s right-hand man - he spent years wishing that the Fates would take him out of the weave.
“He was alone, he felt his life had no purpose. He saw all the buildings and the pollution and how some people lived in absolute poverty. This is a god who coddled the first blades of grass and hugged the very first trees in existence. But yes, sorry, I got off track. Gods have to learn to shut off from the things they see sometimes. We’re not all lying around on clouds while people in skimpy clothing feed us grapes.”
“What happened to Silvanus? Is he all right now?”
Apollo nodded. “Yep, the Fates gave him a mate – my cousin Artemas, not to be confused with my twin Artemis. Artemas is one of the sons of Poseidon.”
“You must have an interesting family tree. As for Cassius,” Titus shrugged again. “I think there must’ve been a part of me that knew, or at least suspected. Otherwise, my wolf would’ve made a lot more fuss about the separation, and he never did.
“I wasn’t worried about the kid being born a shifter. Lorna was a vampire. I never doubted her ability to cope with a paranormal child. Even if he was only half shifter, he would still shift…hmm, he’d be due to do that in the next few years, if he’d been mine. But still. Now I know I am only funding Lorna and her mate’s lifestyle, and not paying for my son’s upbringing, I’ll get the lawyers onto it tomorrow. They can let Lorna know her free ride on my dime is over.”
