Which was what Ben needed too.
“Thank you,” he said finally, and he turned a bit to sit more normally on the couch. He was still breathing fairly hard, although not concerningly so, telling me that he wasn’t likely to have a panic attack. I could leave, give him time to decompress and think, but something told me he would let me know when he needed space.
“Do you want to watch a movie? Maybe a nice, cheesy comedy from the eighties?” I suggested.
Ben sent me a warm smile, grabbing the blanket and holding it for me in a direct parallel to how he had when he’d first invited me to sit within the cocoon.
“Sounds perfect.”
EIGHTEEN
GISELLE
Let’s Make it Official
My life was going better than I ever thought it could.
The evaluation period had come and gone, and my class had done exceptionally well. Not that I was surprised. Beforehand, they’d been acing everything I was throwing at them. And while the evaluations weren’t standardized testingorbenchmark testing, it would not only be a judge of how well I was teaching them, but would also let me know how to set them up for success at the end of the year. Some folks would probably think I was crazy for taking things so seriously, but it was serious to me.
It was still early in my career, but I really felt like I’d polished my testing protocol since I’d first started. I had a long way to go, but I’d also come such a long way too. So naturally, I was insanely proud as I handed the printouts of their results to the students. Their parents would be emailed a copy as well, but I wanted the kids to be able to gloat and enjoy the special pizza I’d ordered for them.
Not everyone got an A on the evaluation. It wasn’t realistic to expect that. But everyone did quite wellandnobody failed, which was definitely a triumph.
Things were going great with Ben, too. We’d had two other dinner dates, and there were no kidnappings or carjackings to be had, a dinner at his home, and next week we were set to go to the movies with his kidsandNatalie. I got the distinct impression that if I wasn’t his son’s teacher, I wouldn’t have been introduced to his kids yet, since he was extremely protective of them—understandably so. We’d also kissed again, at my door when he dropped me off, and it had been just as thrilling as the first time.
Well,almostas thrilling. I couldn’t exactly climb into his lap while we were standing, so that friction was missing. Then again, if I were a little braver, I could have asked him to pick me up. But the idea of my legs wrapped around his waist was a little too much. Not for my delicate constitution or anything moronic like that, but because we were going slow.
And I was okay with that. Holding hands, eating the occasional meal together, texting, and making out was more than I ever thought we’d have. And like I’d promised Ben, I really was in no rush. No moment was ever guaranteed, and I would never take any of them for granted.
Spring had gone from just a suggestion, whispered on the edge of winter winds and chilly days, to a full-blown celebration of life. My body was less achy, and I’d retired my thick sweaters while the world blushed verdant emerald. It was a chartreuse kiss promising warm, buttery rays of sun and flowers just starting to bloom. Soon, it would be time for cookouts, tea parties, and all the other silly and wonderful celebrations that humans like to have.
But apparently, humans weren’t the only ones.
After six weeks of casual dating, Ben called me one afternoon while I was still in the classroom grading the kids’ art projects.Actual, physical assignments tookwaymore effort to go through, and also occupied way more space, but it was worth it to me. I appreciated the digital age, but kids needed to work on their hand-eye coordination, their fine motor skills, their spatial reasoning, as well as a host of other things. The best way to do that was to have them write, draw, use scissors, and engage the creative parts of their mind. I’d read studies that the constant drip of dopamine kids were exposed to with phones and social media was doing serious damage to their natural curiosity and ability to think independently. I couldn’t fight the entire structure of society, but maybe, just maybe, I could give them a foundation so they weren’t negatively affected.
I could hope, at least.
“Is it okay that I’m calling you at work?” Ben asked. He always managed to blow me away with how thoughtful he was.
“Yeah, I don’t have any students in my room right now. I’ll be heading home soon.”
“Glad you’ll be able to kick your feet up a little earlier than usual.”
“That’s the hope, at least,” I said with a chuckle. “But what’s up?”
“Ah, I just wanted to catch you before I forgot. And it’s all right if you don’t want to, but I was, uh, wondering if you’d, uh…”
Normally, I was patient whenever Ben needed a few moments to find his words, but he was starting to give me anxiety.
“Is everything okay?” God, was he going to end things with me over the phone? I was so sure that everything was going great. I’d been falling asleep at night all happy and content, but what if I was off-my-rocker delusional?
“Yeah! Sorry, everything is fine. It’s just… Uh, Veronica has become obsessed with these ice pops that are only sold at thisAsian market on the south side of the city, one Natalie took her to, so I swung by there to pick some up, and I ran into Mrs. Hayashi there.”
“Oh wait, are those the melon ones she had me try?”
“Yeah.”
“Man, thosearegood. I don’t blame her for becoming obsessed. I might have to get some myself.”
