I didn’t get it. As shifters, our metabolisms burned through caffeine, alcohol, and regular medicines too fast for them to actually affect us. So, Natalie was paying extra for fancy soda. But whatever. If she wanted it, I’d buy it for her. It was the least I could do.
“I’ll make sure to grab that for you.”
Heading down the stairs, I stopped in our half-bathroom to wash my face, catching sight of my reflection. Huh, had I forgotten to shave that morning? My stubble was already far more grown-in than I preferred. When had those circles formed under my eyes? Shifters aged slowly, but I looked nearly fifty instead of thirty-one.
Probably dehydration.
Whatever it was, it wasn’t like I could fix it in the next two minutes, so I splashed more cold water on my face, then headed to the door. I slid on a pair of Crocs, grabbed my keys, and headed out to the car.
It wasn’t a long drive to the school, which was a benefit of living in the suburbs. We’d been in our house for nearly a year, but I was still getting used to the noise and how close everything was. I’d grown up in the country, as had my father before me, and his father before him. But after everything that had happened, the country had been too isolated, too dark, and too full of ghosts I couldn’t escape from.
So, the suburbs it was. I was smart enough to know I wouldn’t be able to make it in the city, but this felt like an appropriate compromise. Maybe one day I’d be able to go back to wide open fields and dense forests where the closest neighbor was a fifteen-minute drive away, but it wouldn’t be anytimesoon. And for now, I was solely focused on getting through one day at a time.
After all, I’d learned the painful lesson that tomorrow was never guaranteed.
Thankfully, the drive to the school was relatively boring, and there was no drama in the pick-up line—somewhat of a miracle in and of itself. It wasn’t exactly easy being a single father and former pack alpha, but even so, I liked to think I would never pull the shit other parents in the pick-up line did. It would be a pretty terrible example for my son, who I was trying to raise to be a better man than I was.
Speaking of my son, I was finally close enough to spot his brown hair as he rough-housed with a couple of other young boys. Abruptly, my nightmare was a thing of the past. The terror of it ebbed when I saw the wideness of my son’s grin, and my anxiety quieted at the sound of his laughter. The world could be a truly terrifying place sometimes, but it didn’t seem so bad when I saw my little guy thriving.
Although, he seemed less and lesslittleby the day. I knew he was only in first grade, but sometimes it felt like his first steps were just a week ago, and his first words a month before that. Time was funny that way. In the dark of the night, every minute seemed like its own painful eternity. But sharing joy with my son? That went by as fast as blinking.
God, I loved him so much.
My emotions swirled up, but I pushed them down to more manageable levels as I pulled up to the official pickup area. The chaperone let him run towards me. Although my son didn’t have the enhanced sense of smell to pick up on the bitter ketones of stress in my pheromones, he was a perceptive kid, and I didn’t want to waste a moment of our afternoon together with him worrying about me.
“Hey, kiddo,” I said as he jumped into the car, all smiles and red cheeks. He was sitting next to his booster seat that he’d outgrown not that long ago. He was going to end up taller than me, wasn’t he?
Height wasn’t an important thing, but I still found myself glowing with a bit of pride at the idea. Despite the fact that it had only been a year and a half since my wife sent him off on the bus for his first day of kindergarten, it felt like an entire lifetime had passed. There was that maybe not-so-funny time paradox again.
“How was your day?” I continued, only missing a slight beat. Thankfully, as perceptive as my son could be, he didn’t seem to notice and happily launched into a story about a kid named Mike or Mickey chugging so much milk at recess that he threw up. As unappetizing as the tale was, I was so incredibly happy to listen. I had comesoclose to never being able to hear my son talk about his day that I wouldn’t ever take it for granted.
“Hey, Natalie asked me to grab her one of those energy drinks she liked, so do you want a Slurpee or hot cocoa while we’re at the gas station?”
“Oh! Hot cocoa, please! Slurpee is for hot weather and it’s kind of cool now.”
“I can’t argue with that logic. Now, what happened after recess? Did Mikey have to change?”
“Mickey! And no, somehow he didn’t get asingledrop on himself!”
“Impressive.”
And so the conversation went on as we stopped at the gas station, then went home. I listened as Benny regaled Natalie and Veronica with the same tale. Although Veronica was just over two and probably comprehended less than a third of what her brother was saying, she certainly seemed to be enjoying it, occasionally repeating what words she could say or clapping.
God, I loved that they got along. Severe trauma could really affect sibling relationships, but in the fifteen months since they’d become brother and sister, they hadn’t had so much as an argument. Which was saying something, since Veronica was the most opinionated two-year-old I’d ever met.
Granted, I didn’t exactly hang out with a lot of two-year-olds, but the point still stood.
“That was a great story, Junior,” Natalie said as she finished her energy drink. “Do you want to watch a movie with me and Veronica while your dad works on dinner?”
“Sure! Lemme get some water first.”
“Of course. I’ll get everything set up.”
“Thank you for staying for dinner,” I said as she stood. Natalie had her own life and schedule, but I would always be eternally grateful about how she was always there to help when I needed it. Because lately, I seemed to be falling short more than ever.
“Of course. Anytime you need. We’re family, after all.”
Family, yes. In the most abstract and awful sense. We’d gone from speaking once to being each other’s only links. We’d suffered a loss no one could imagine, and yet we were both deep in it.
