He gazed at me with utter bewilderment. “But why? Why don’t you hate me?”
“Because you’re a victim in this. I know you don’t see it right now, but I hope in time you can.”
The tears were falling again, but they were slower, like he was completely drained of energy. “I don’t understand how you could possibly ask me to do this... there’s just... I can’t...”
“I can’t answer that for you. Only you will know what your path is. However, I can give you steps to start. First, I want you to get into therapy.”
“Therapy?”he repeated, like I just asked him to do a triple backflip into his own grave. “You’ve got to be kidding me!”
“I’m completely serious. I’ll see if I can get a list of shifter therapists from my own, and I’ll mail it to you. I need you to actually go and make an effort. You owe me that much.”
“I…”
“And as for having nothing…” I knew that bringing Melton into my pack wasn’t the right choice. For either me or him. While I wanted him to live and heal, there was a certain line of separation that the both of us would need for a very long time. Being around the lone wolf was still far too painful and uncomfortable to invite him into my inner circle, even if he was a victim of Charles’s actions as well. “Have you ever heard of a wayfarer?”
“I, uh, no. What?”
I could tell that he was struggling to keep up, but that was okay. I would never judge him for that. “You’ve heard about fairies, right?”
“Yeah. Ancient folks all mostly in Europe, right?”
“Mostly. But there’s this thing about their blood. It’s recessive when mixed with humans, but can randomly manifest several generations down the line, so there are these random fairies scattered all across the world who know nothing of their people or even their magic. As you can imagine, this often gets them into quite a pickle and can be incredibly isolating.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Pain still layered his words, but I could hear the slightest sliver of intrigue there. And honestly, that was the sign I needed. It was clear to me that Melton was completely consumed by the emotions inside him. He needed something else to distract him and give him time to process everything in a healthier manner.
He needed apurpose.
“Because I know a wayfarer who needs help searching for these lost souls and connecting them with their people. You want to atone for the blood you spilled? Well, I charge you with saving these lives. That’s how you pay this debt.”
“How many?”
The question surprised me, as did the stillness that settled over Melton. It was like he’d been flailing in the open ocean and had suddenly found something to grip onto. “How many do I have to save before I can rest?”
I knew what he was asking, and as much as I longed for it not to be a question in his mind, again, I had to accept that was where he was at in the moment.
“That’s for the wayfarer to decide. When she feels your debt is satisfied, she will tell me, and I will release you. Your sins were forged in blood, so you will erase them with the same.”
There was another achingly long silence. Melton’s tears dripped onto the ground, but I knew it wasn’t my time to speak. I had done all that I could, and it was up to him to keep hold of the life preserver I tossed him.
“I do this. I help this fairy person for however long, and you swear to me that you’ll release me? That you’ll do as I ask?”
I could never execute a man in cold blood, but I also knew what Melton needed to hear at the moment to start his path. “I promise.”
He let out a shudder, then collapsed in my arms. Slowly, I eased down to my knees, so we were both kneeling on the ground, embraced not as enemies, but as two souls—one so lost in the quagmire of misery and guilt that he couldn’t see an exit, and one who had only recently pulled himself out of it.
“I’ll do it. Goddamn it, I’ll do it. Anything to stop this pain. Anything to make all of this right.”
I let go of his other wrist and the back of his head to wrap my arms around him. Although I didn’t feel it was appropriateto have him in my pack now—maybe ever—that didn’t stop me from wanting to give him comfort in the moment.
And so, I held him. I held him for as long as he needed, long after my legs grew numb and my knees began to ache from the gravel below. But I didn’t dare let go until Melton pulled away, staring at me with an expression somewhere between exhaustion and puzzlement.
“What now?”
“Now?” I murmured, looking around. “For now, why don’t we fill this grave, then we’ll get you something to eat. Then sleep. Once that’s done, I’ll call Giselle and ask her to get in touch with the wayfarer for you.”
Shakily, we got to our feet, still gripping each other.
“I still don’t understand why you’re doing this.”
