Oh. She thought I was struggling with the existence of shifters rather than something as banal as a breakup.
God, were Ben and I really breaking up? We’d just gotten started! He’d made a huge stride and everything seemed soperfect…
“Thank you,” I said, and although I was intrigued by her existence, it didn’t lift my mood. “I’d love to talk to you more about that sometime, but?—”
“Yes, I know, you need to get to your class and mentally prepare for your day. You go and do that, dearie! And remember…” She held a finger to her lips. “The whole fairy thing is a secret. Even from your shifter friends.”
“Understood.”
Who knew how long we’d still be “friends” anyway.
In my classroom, I flopped down in my chair, trying to digest both the recent development as well as the turmoil going on from Ben. As crazy as it sounded, my mind sorted the fairy thing into the to-be-worried-about-later category, and instead focused on Ben. Because of course.
I wished I could just ask Benny, but no way in hell was I bringing a child into my personal issues. So, I resolved to hold my tongue and pretend everything was all right.
At least I tried to, until he pushed another kid over while I took my turn monitoring at recess.
“Benny! Hands to yourself!” I called, hurrying over to the other kid. Thankfully, Mickey was just fine, albeit a little confused.
“Whatever,” Benny said, rolling his eyes and running off.
That was really strange.
He wasn’t much better in class. He never raised his hand and pointedly read a comic book when we were reviewing rules for the upcoming art project, but I tried to give him his space. Clearly whatever had made his father hate me had leaked onto him.
God, I’d really fucked up, hadn’t I? I must have done something so offensive in their culture that none of them wanted anything to do with me, I simply couldn’t figure out what that could possibly be. Yes, I’d heard plenty of talk about mating and children at the jamboree, children I could never give Ben, but surely that couldn’t be it? Because if it were, it was weird as fuck that Benny even cared about that.
No, it had to be something else.
That thought plagued me through the day, into the night, and the next morning when Ben sent me the same cursory good-morning text but nothing else. Simon and my dad were kind ofstarting to suspect something was wrong, but I couldn’t pretend I was fine convincingly enough, so I just hurried out the door rather than interacting with them.
Once I got to school, I tried to distract myself with thoughts of Mademoiselle Delgato, but they just wouldn’t stick. Which felt particularly pathetic, by the way. Was I a teenager again? Lovesick over someone who couldn’t even respond to my texts?
Not that I had a phone or a relationship in high school, but still.
But all my thoughts about myself fled from my mind when I sat down at my computer and saw an email from the after-school art program I’d recommended to Ben and Benny. I clicked on it so fast, I was surprised my mouse didn’t start smoking, and sure enough, it was about Benny.
It was nothing too concerning, just that he’d missed the program for the first time since he started, and his father hadn’t answered the cursory check-in to make sure everything was all right. Unfortunately, it wasn’t entirely unheard of for a guardian to pass in the night or even to have a terrible fall and the children they were caring for shutting down too much to reach out for help.
I shot off a quick email, telling the therapist that Benny arrived at school with clean clothes every day and appeared to be well fed. I left out his acting out the previous day but even as I hit send, I knew that I needed to talk to Benny one-on-one.
Something was definitely going on.
I wanted to wait until after school, but when I overheard Mickey asking Benny if he wanted to sit next to him on the bus, I realized I had to react sooner because Ben usually picked him up.
A darker part of my mind whispered that Ben was so repulsed by me, he couldn’t even tolerate driving to the school to pick up his son, but the rest of me quickly corrected that. I waspretty sure Ben could hate me with the passions of a thousand suns and he would never let that affect how he cared for his son.
“All right, class, time to line up for recess,” I said once it was time, strategically positioning myself so that I was close to Benny’s desk. While everyone else stood, I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looked up at me, brows furrowed, but I gave him my teacher look. Thankfully, he seemed to understand and didn’t make a scene of it.
“Hey, Benny, you coming?” Jessica asked from the door, her jump rope from her backpack already in her hand.
“I’ll catch up,” he said coolly, waving her off, and yet again I was struck by how much of an old soul he could be sometimes. An aftereffect of his trauma, no doubt. That, and the same hypervigilance that had caused him to notice I was sick before I even did.
“Okie dokie!”
She ran off, and soon it was the two of us in the classroom.
“Benny, do you know why I’ve asked you to stay after?”
