For when the silence inside you is full of everything you never said.
It isn’t about hope.It’s about honesty.
Sometimes that’s the first step back.
ChapterThirty-Nine
Private Message | EchoZone Internal Chat
From: DeadStrings
To: StringTheory27
Date: May 12th, 199711:51 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Radio silence?
I started with “Adagio for Strings.”
Didn’t even make it halfway before I had to sit down.
That’s not music—it’s grief stripped of language.Like it crawled out of the body and found a way to keep breathing on its own.
It’s the sound of holding your breath in a church pew.Of keeping your hands folded while your heart splits in half.
I didn’t realize how loud silence could feel until it started filling it.
Then I listened to “Somebody.”
Didn’t think much of it at first.Just a soft synth and a voice that almost sounds too sincere for its own good.But then the last part landed—where he basically admits this whole confession makes him uneasy.That saying what he wants out loud kind of makes him sick.But he says it anyway.Somehow, that’s what made it hit hardest.
It’s exactly what happens when you want love but you’ve built your whole personality around pretending you don’t need it.He says he wants someone to hold him.To understand him.
He says everything out loud—andstill flinches while doing it.
That one cut deep.
He still needs to joke about it.Still has to apologize for meaning it.Honestly, I feel that he doesn’t think he deserves everything he wants.Ouch.
There’s this thing about Depeche Mode, though.They’re everywhere.Are they famous?Sure, but I believe they’re underrated and followed for the wrong reasons.No one takes them seriously, maybe because they feel things too openly.
They make music for people who’ve been burned and still keep lighting matches.I’d never admit this out loud, but yeah—I listen to them more than I should.They make heartbreak sound like a bad habit.
And I get that.
Thanks for the list.
You hit something I didn’t think could be touched tonight.
Now I owe you one, or maybe just one song.I will send it—them—when I can feel the music again.Hopefully, soon.
ChapterForty
Private Message | EchoZone Internal Chat
From: StringTheory27
To: DeadStrings
