I went to his house to tell him how much I hated him and that I didn’t want to see him again.That ...what does it say about me?The last words to the only family I had left were ...not of a loving daughter.The worst part is that I don’t regret them.
That and I found out he destroyed the lives of several people who trusted him.He groomed them, used them, and ...I found out that my boyfriend never cheated—not consciously.And I believed what my father had staged.
I keep thinking: What if I’d known?Would I have fought harder?Would we have stood a chance?
It’s not even about romantic what-ifs anymore.It’s about the betrayal of being manipulated by someone who was supposed to protect me.He didn’t just ruin a relationship—he rewrote the story before I even got the chance to live it.He destroyed the life of the man I loved.And now he’s gone, and all I’m left with are fragments, theories, and the bitter taste of too-late truths.
So yeah.That’s where I’m at.Trying to piece together who I am without the mythology of him dictating the narrative.
I don’t know if you’ll read this.I don’t know if you’re still there.But if you are—say something.Or send a song.Even if it doesn’t make sense.
I could use something that doesn’t make sense right now.
K
ChapterNinety-Two
Private Message | EchoZone Internal Chat
From: DeadStrings
To: StringTheory27
Date: August 23rd, 1997, 10:44 PM
Subject: Re: You there?
I’m here.
Sorry for your loss.I know those words don’t fully express it, but I truly mean them.What you wrote—it hit.I’ve read it more than once.
I don’t have the space right now to say everything I want.Something personal just cracked open on my end.I’m not ignoring you—I just need a minute to find the ground again.
But I won’t leave you with silence.So, here are a couple of songs instead:
“No Excuses”—Alice in Chains
Acoustic, raw, and quietly affirming.It’s about friendship, sticking around through the mess, and being there even if things aren’t perfect.Great for a male voice trying to show up without overpromising.
“Hurt”—Nine Inch Nails
Minimal, aching, ideal when the speaker lacks emotional bandwidth to talk—but still wants to connect.Use only if the tone needs to be somber and raw.
I’ll come back when I can do more than offer borrowed words.
But I’m not gone.
ChapterNinety-Three
Roderick
August 23rd, 1997
I knew hopping online was a bad idea.
Not because I didn’t want to hear from my friend, but because I had a feeling.A gut feeling that told me I wasn’t ready to deal with her.She’s this light I want to reach, but I’m not prepared to hold onto.There’s a lot I have to work through before I can phantom a relationship, and now ...
Now ...I look at the message again and read it one more time.
