Also, I hope you bought the giant water bowl.Otis sounds like the kind of pup who drinks like he’s just run a marathon—even if all he did was chase a moth across the living room.
Anyway, since he now has a collar, leash, and an existentially complicated human, Otis clearly needs a playlist.So, I took the liberty of creating one for him.
Let’s call it:
“OTIS, WALK THIS WAY” (A Pup-Approved Playlist)
“Walking on Sunshine”—Katrina and the Waves
Because this is the official soundtrack of tail-wagging and accidental zoomies.
“Atomic Dog”—George Clinton
Funky.Irresistible.Slightly chaotic.Just like new love and chew toys.
“I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”—The Proclaimers
Because you’d walk 500 miles and probably back again for him.Admit it.
“Would I Lie to You?”—Eurythmics
For when Otis side-eyes you after you say, “Just one more minute.”
“Come As You Are”—Nirvana
For those contemplative evening walks where you both think about your past lives and future snacks.
Congratulations,DeadStrings.You just committed to someone.
He’ll pee on your floor and probably eat your favorite shoes, but I think he’s the best decision you’ve made all year.
Go fall in love.I dare you.
(And send me a photo if that’s not too offline for you.)
ChapterSeventy-Nine
DeadStrings:Are you there?
StringTheory27:Yes.How’s Otis?Day three going better?
DeadStrings:Otis Bernard—Bernie for short.
StringTheory27:Absolutely not.His name is Otis.You can’t just rebrand him like a cereal box.
DeadStrings:We’ll agree to disagree.He responds to both ...depending on who has the snacks.
StringTheory27:That’s emotional bribery, and you know it.
DeadStrings:He’s got these ears that make him look like he’s constantly mid-thought.I think he might be smarter than me.
StringTheory27:Most dogs are.Especially the emotionally available ones.
DeadStrings:Ouch.
StringTheory27:Just saying.So, where are the pictures?
DeadStrings:I don’t have a camera.
