I wouldn’t even know what I was searching for if it slapped me across the face and demanded I stay.
Because right now, all I know is this: when Timothy touches me, I don’t melt, I freeze.Some days, I go through the motions and count the seconds until it’s over.Then I roll away, press my face into the pillow, and wonder why it didn’t feel necessary.Why didn’t my body burn?
I want to be fucked like someone’s starving for it—for me.For what I could offer when I stop pretending.Pretending I’m just an ordinary woman who teaches piano lessons and manages a record store.Not a musician with a long, crushing history.
That’s probably why I’m settling with Timothy, who keeps a careful distance, as if I’m something fragile and forgettable.
And maybe that’s the real bruise—being loved like you’re easy to leave.
ChapterSix
Echozone Music Zone – “String Theory” Subforum
Thread Title: Top 5 Songs That Say “Your Love Life Is Circling the Drain but You’re Still Standing There Holding the Mop”
Started by:StringTheory27
April 14th, 1997,12:32 AM
Mood: Complicated
So,I was rewinding my Rumors cassette with a pencil (again), and it hit me—some of us are out here living entire soap opera arcs in three-minute radio edits.Why do we stay in the drama?Who knows.Maybe the heartbreak feels better with lo-fi hiss.
Here are my top 5 tracks (in no particular order) that say, “My love life is trash, but I still believe in the recycling program.”
“Love Will Tear Us Apart”—Joy Division
“Foolish Beat”—Debbie Gibson
“Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)”—Phil Collins [Not a fan of his, but the song tracks]
“Nothing Compares 2 U” —Sinéad O’Connor
“Dreams”—Fleetwood Mac
Anyone got one that hits like a cold payphone against your forehead after midnight?
DeadStrings replies:Honestly, most of my mixtapes could just be labeled “Emotional Damage, Vol.3.”But if I had to pick one track that says, “my life sucks and so does every attempt at love,” it’s this:
“I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry”—The Cowboy Junkies (covering Hank Williams)
Slower than heartbreak and more hollow than the messages she used to leave on my answering machine.
Also, if we’re dipping into early 80s melancholy:
“Bette Davis Eyes”—Kim Carnes
Because sometimes she’s got the look, laugh, and voice—and you’re just the guy who drove her home once and still hasn’t recovered.
String Theory27:Okay, DeadStrings, I’ll give you Cowboy Junkies for late-night existential crisis vibes—but “Bette Davis Eyes”?Really?That’s not heartbreak.That’s watching someone cool walk out of your life and pretending you’re fine while she lights a cigarette with your dignity.Nice try.
But I said love life in ruins, not art school crush with sharp cheekbones and daddy issues.
You want a real track that says, “I stayed too long, loved too hard, and now I’m out here emotionally hoarding a breakup”?Try this on:
“Total Eclipse of the Heart”—Bonnie Tyler
It’s operatic.It’s desperate.It’s like screaming into a pillow you bought together at Bed Bath & Beyond.
