She had deceived him even though it wasn’t an outright lie.
In some ways, this was worse.
After a while he shivered a little despite the warm water and moved to the hot tub, turning on the jets but leaving the light off.
He sat there, eyes closed, trying to shut down his noisy brain.He didn’t open them when he heard the sliders slowly open and close again, and the soft pad of bare feet across the concrete.
He knew it was Dewi.
She approached the hot tub but didn’t speak or make any move to climb in.
When he finally opened his eyes, she stood there outside it, leaning on the edge with her arms crossed, the baby monitor in one hand, watching him with a morose expression.
But he resisted the urge to rush to comfort her.
Not this time.
“Do you want to talk?”she asked.
He shrugged.
“I know I violated your trust.”
“But you still did it.”
“I hated to do it,” she said.
He felt that, too.
That was another sucky thing about this—hefelthow badly she felt.She didn’t just do it for shits and giggles.
She knew it was the only option.
And, ultimately, he knew she was right.
Didn’t make itfeelright to either of them, though.
“How do I trust you, Dewi?How do I not weigh everything you say now and try to figure out every way possible to question you so I’m sure you’re not looking for a loophole?”
She slowly nodded.“I know.I promise from now on, unless it involves planning a present or a good surprise, like a party or something, I will never do that again.But there will be times you don’t like my decisions.There will be times I have to ignore or overrule you, or get Peyton to make you understand.”
“I’d rather not like honest answers than worry what the truth really is.”
She nodded again.
It killed him that, yes, he felt her remorse.It rolled off her in sickening waves.
This morning, she’d talked to a woman in Mexico who was now dead by her own hand.
Technically, Dewi hadn’t killed her.She had given the woman a choice.
He held out his hand.“I want to know.All of it.Show me.The unredacted version.If I could survive with all that ugly fucking sewage in my brain that Peyton gave me, I can deal with this.Besides, he showed me some of what happened at the lab, and the people they couldn’t save.”
She rounded the hot tub and held out her hand.
Taking a deep breath, he took her hand, and she replayed the entire conversation in her mind, including showing him what she’d seen in Jacinta’s mind.
By the time they finished, he felt sick, but at least he knew.
