She kept playing, transitioning into “Parting Glass.”
He finally reached out and curled a hand around hers and the tin whistle. “Aisling, talk to me. Please?”
She resisted the urge to jerk free of his grip because she didn’t relish looking like Badger because she poked her eye out with a tin whistle.
That would be both painful and humiliating, and she wasn’t a masochist. “Got nothin’ to talk about.”
“Well, then we’re at an impasse, because I need to know what’s going on. And we’ll sit here all night if we have to until you talk to me.”
She scowled at him while trying to come up with the perfect snarky response until he suddenly blurred and doubled, tripled in front of her as tears filled her eyes.
Up until that second, she’d thought she hated his irritating ways, but nope.
Turned out she hated his sympathy even more.
“This is between us,” he softly said. “Please talk to me.”
She finally met his gaze. “I have a mate bond with Tamsin,” she whispered. “And bloody hell, I can’t tell her that now, can I?”
His head dropped forward as a heavy sigh escaped him. “Fuck,” he muttered. “Does Dewi know?”
“Yeah. And Badger and Duncan. They helped me with their Prime to try to keep my head and wits about me.”
“That’s why that day I saw you in her room…” He sighed again. “And it’s why you keep trying to rile me up to get you kicked out.” He finally looked up, releasing his grip on her. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, like I said, even I’m not arsehole enough to tell Tamsin. So here I’m stuck, in bloody hell.”
He sat cross-legged in front of her. “Dewi wouldn’t reassign you?”
“Not when Trevor himself requested I do this. And no, he don’t know, either. And no, not tellin’ him.”
“You never felt it for her before now?”
“Never met her before in person. Christ, she just became a mum, and from what ye all said, she barely hung on to life to reach that point. I surely can’t burden her with this. Correction—I will not burden her with this.” She blinked away the sudden, burning memory of that day.
Of the sound of Maisie’s last words.
He slowly nodded. “Did you think maybe what you should do is tell Tamsin?”
“Are ye feckin’ daft, man? I just told ye?—”
“She had a mate bond with Maisie. She’s felt it before. Maybe give her some credit, huh? Let her have a say before you unilaterally decide to keep it from her. Maybe she’ll feel one for you, too. And,” he continued when Aisling tried to speak, “as far as I’m concerned, I’m all for it. Maybe it makes me selfish, but it would damned sure make life a hell of a lot easier for all of us if we knew we only had to worry about Tamsin and the baby’s safety from outside forces, not from Tamsin harming herself.”
Aisling’s jaw snapped shut as she processed his words. “Ye think she still might? Dewi and them said they thought she was past all that.”
“I don’t know, and that’s my whole goddamned point. Badger and Duncan think she’s turned the corner, but even they aren’t sure. You didn’t see how she was back then. Understandably so, obviously, considering everything she’d survived, but she wasn’t pulling out of it. It took all of the Primes constantly nudging her to keep her eating. Brianna practically sat on her day and night, keeping an eye on her. I’m not saying if you claim her it’d automatically heal her soul. That’d be a stupid thing for me to say. But if you claim her, maybe it would give her yet another external reason to keep going until she’s strong enough to reach a healthier place. I don’t think there’s a single person in this pack who’d object to you doing it.”
“Except maybe Trevor and Elizabeth.”
“Aisling, they know mate bonds. From what I understand, they have one. They knew Maisie and Tamsin had one. They love Tamsin, and her baby is still their grandbaby. Unless I’ve seriously misjudged the guy, I think that maybe it’d be a surprise to Trevor, but he’ll come around in short order if not immediately.”
“That’s bloody disrespectful though, innit?” she countered. “Here he’s taken me in and put his faith and trust in me, and it’s like I take advantage of it.”
“How, Aisling? That’s fate or the Goddess or blind damned luck that’s done it, not you.” He reached out and touched her knee, reminding her a lot of one of her older brothers despite being younger than her. “Look, if you have any worries about the Targhees not accepting your mating because you’re gay, stop worrying. They had gay members before we joined. Even transfolk. They accepted me and Mateo without hesitation. They immediately accepted Tamsin. You’re pack. Tamsin’s pack. And all anyone wants for you both as fellow packmates is for you to be safe and happy. Full stop.”
Part of her wanted to take everything he said at face value.
But then the dark void in her soul reached out and slapped her. “What’s she gonna want with someone like me, eh? I’m nearly three times her age. I’ve been to hell and back and not even sure I’m fit to be someone’s part-time fuck buddy, much less their full-time mate. And be a mum to a little one?”
