“Yer welcome,” Badger said in that kind, fatherly tone that nearly took Dewi’s knees out.
She met his gaze. “Anyone suspect anything?”
“No, lass. I told ’em there’s pressing pack business matters to attend to. Asia and Tamsin have tonight’s arrangements planned already and will handle getting the food an’ everythin’. None of ye need lift a finger. They already talked to Malyah and Nami, and they’ll help with the food prep, since Beck and Joaquin need to be here anyway. Asia’s pups will grab their food and then play babysitter to the wains over at Asia’s house, so they won’t be underfoot. I suspect Tamsin will want to be over there as well, so no worries about that.”
They all turned as Ken and Trent emerged from the office.
Ken took one look at Dewi and turned to Trent. “Do you all need us for a while?”
“No. We’ll come get you if there’s an update.”
Ken took the diaper bag from Badger and draped an arm around Dewi’s shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go back to the cabin for a while.”
She leaned against him, letting him take charge. Part of her mind rebelled against that, but on the other hand, part of her soul needed—craved his strength right now.
Thankfully, Ken didn’t talk as they made their way across the backyard to their cabin. Once inside, he closed and locked the door behind them while Dewi settled the baby in her portable crib.
Ken stepped behind Dewi, slipping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. She let her hands rest on top of his as she watched their daughter sweetly sleeping. “Anything?” she quietly asked.
He kissed the back of her neck. “Not yet.”
She struggled to hold back the prickle of tears stinging her eyes. “I don’t know what to do right now,” she whispered, not trusting her voice, not trusting herself not to start screaming, howling in rage and anguish.
Ken sighed, and the warmth of his breath caressed her neck. “Breathe,” he said. “That’s all we can do in this moment. We have our orders, we know the next immediate step, so all you have to do right now, baby, is breathe.”
She closed her eyes as tears spilled down her cheeks. “I can’t imagine a world where that big jerk isn’t here taking care of us.” She sniffled. “I remember when I was little how he’d take turns taking care of me. I remember him dressing me, making breakfast for me. I knew he wasn’t my ‘dad,’ but back then I was too little to understand the difference. Him, Badger, Trent. I never felt like that about Beck; he was more like a friend, I guess? I mean, I loved him and felt like he was family, but Badger was my main ‘dad’, then Peyton and Trent. They didn’t really feel like my brothers until I was older.”
Ken rested his chin on her shoulder. “They all love you, in their own ways. Badger feels like a dad to me too, now. So does Duncan.”
She sniffled again. “Yeah.” She watched the slow rise and fall of Lyssa’s chest, how her tiny fingers clenched and unclenched in sleep, no worries disturbing her. “I want her to know her uncles—both of them. I don’t want her growing up in the shadow of grief like I did, with the former Pack Alpha nothing more than a larger-than-life figure she only knows by what other people tell her about him.”
Ken nuzzled the side of her neck but didn’t speak and oh, how she loved him for that.
Giving her the emotional and mental space she needed to…process.
Mentally shift gears.
Trying to prepare herself to completely rearrange her entire emotional landscape in case…
In case.
In case her worst fears came true.
After a few minutes, it became too much, too painful to ponder—too keenly, sharply agonizing to imagine Lyssa growing up in some ways just as Dewi had—and she had to make it stop and derail her overactive brain.
And there was only one sure-fire way to do that.
She turned in Ken’s embrace, draped her arms around his neck, and kissed him, melting against him and happily letting him take control of this and her in this moment.
Without breaking their kiss, Ken backed her toward the cabin’s bedroom, using his foot to nudge the bedroom door mostly shut. Dewi closed her eyes and deeply breathed, deeply, the scent of him, her mate, the love of her life.
Dewi couldn’t imagine ever living without him. It felt like he’d been in her life forever, a constant, unshakable mountain of love and strength supporting her, keeping her grounded.
Keeping her sane.
Ken turned them again, lying on the bed and pulling her on top of him. “No-brain time for a little while, okay?”
She nodded. “Yes, please.”
