“Dawson,” Nami whispered, now standing just behind him, at his right shoulder, her left arm draped around his shoulders. “Baby,shh.” Beck trembled, his nostrils flaring.
Now Dewi spotted his tears. It crushed her soul because she honestly couldn’t say she ever remembered seeing Beck cry.
Not like this.
Not over her.
Dewi edged closer. “I’m sorry, Beck,” she softly said, meaning it.
Nami stepped sideways and wrapped her arms around him from behind. “Baby, you kept your promises,” Nami whispered to him, but Dewi’s shifter hearing meant she understood every word. They all could, even Ken.
No doubt Nami knew that, too.
Beck slowly shook his head again, his voice thick and choked. “No, I haven’t—”
“Yes, youdid, sugar,” Nami insisted, as if gentling a spooked horse, calming a hurricane, chasing away monsters. “You kept all your promises. Dewi’s starting her own family just like we’re starting ours. And you’re gonna feel like this about our baby, too. I felt this way about my brother and sisters. I swore to Momma on her deathbed and then again on her grave that Iwouldprotect them and keep them together. And any little thing that got in the way of that, if I couldn’t go around or through it, I did everything in my power tocrushit beneath my feet. We’re always going to have these kinds of moments where things feel bleak, but we have to power though them. There’s no other option. You have nevernotkept your oaths, Dawson Beckett. To Charlie or the pack or anyone. Sometimes, things happen. But in no universe have you failed.”
Badger also stepped in. “She’s right, lad.” He laid a hand on Beck’s shoulder but Dewi knew he wasn’t using his Prime on Beck. “I felt the same way when Charlie died. I swore him the same oaths at her birth and their deaths. And yes, ye kept yer oaths. Every breath of them.” Badger sniffled. “I’d kick any man right in the cunt what tried to say different.”
Dewi was aware of Joaquin and Duncan easing away from the small huddle now surrounding Beck.
Dewi was used to dealing with Beck in a variety of moods.
Broken was not one of them.
And this pain she felt over hurting her friend—her family—came second only to that day she unintentionally upset Ken by bringing Segura home to woodchip the sonofabitch.
Nami wasn’t done though. “Baby, Duncan didn’t have a thing to do with what happened with Charles and Chelsea, either. No matter how much guilt he wants to heap on himself or how much guilt you think he deserves to carry. The bottom line is that Endquist would have killed them even if Duncan had been there. He would have found a way to do it. That kind of seething, narcissistic rage doesn’t dissolve just because one person’s there or not.”
“Endquist would have killed Duncan, too,” Ken added. “Maybe not up close and personally. Maybe ambushed him in his house or outside with a gun. But I heard him myself, andnothingwould have stopped him from killing Charles and Chelsea. If he’d been forced to, he would have shot them and disappeared. Not even you would have been able to stop him.”
Ken stepped closer. “Endquist wanted revenge, and he wanted control of the Targhee Pack. He felt wronged that Chelsea rejected him, both because he took it personally and because he thought he deserved to have a mate of his choosing and a pack simply because he was born a Prime Alpha, but he didn’t want to do the work to build and nurture one. He was toxic masculinity on steroids. He wanted to destroy everything Chelsea loved because she dared saynoto him. He spent years nourishing that rage, feeding it, when he could have easily dusted himself off, moved on, and found someone else to love. Because he didn’tloveChelsea—he wanted to possess her and possess the power he knew he could access by her becoming his mate. Of everyone standing here, I’ve had the most up-close and personal experience living with someone exactly like that. And that fucker murdered my mom.”
Ken pointed to Joaquin. “Joaquin killed Raul Segura. From what we know of Raul, he was way worse than my stepfather. A full-on sociopath. People like that will always bulldoze through innocents to achieve their goals no matter who is in their way. Especially if their ego is bruised.”
“And what if Duncan hadn’t ‘fucked off,’hmm?” Nami asked. “Then he wouldn’t have been there in the wilderness that day tosaveme and Ken.” She made Beck turn and placed his hands on her stomach. “Shewouldn’t be here today.” She pointed to Dewi’s baby bump. “Or her. Because Ken and I wouldn’t behereif Duncan hadn’t beenthere. I amconvincedwe would not have survived the night without his help. And Duncan didn’t have to be here for me to meet you or for Ken to meet Dewi. But hehadto betherethat day in the woods forusto still behere.”
“He wouldn’t have been here to help Tully cross,” Badger gravely said. “She woulda spent those last weeks sufferin’ far worse than she did. The truth is, we can coulda-woulda-shoulda all day and all night and it doesn’t change whatis. Yer under a lot of stress, lad. A lot. And…”
Badger choked up. “I don’t think any of us what were there and lived through losin’ Charlie and Chelsea ever really got a chance to grieve right and proper. You, me, Peyton, Trent. None of us. We were too busy keepin’ Dewi alive and protectin’ her and keeping the pack alive and protectin’ it. Huntin’ the bastard, for all the good it did us back then. And we just kept…goin’. Until it’s now a quarter-century later and none of us still have dealt with it proper. I know seeing Tamsin’s pain as she’s trying to find her way through that thick, black forest is stirring a lot of old pain inside ye and bringing it to the surface. I know it certainly is for me. Maybe it’s time we open those wounds and clean ’em out once and fer all, together, so we can all finally start to heal from it.”
Beck’s breath hitched, gasping, as he tried to choke back his sobs. “I’mscared,” he finally managed. “I feel like I’m going to fail. I can’t protect Dewi. I wasn’t there that day with Ken and Nami. How am I going to keep our baby safe?”
Ken laughed, startling all of them. “Dude,you’rescared? Join the club! I’m shitting bricksterrified! At least you’re a wolf!”
“Yeah, but you’re a badass,” Beck said.
Ken looked at Dewi. “You sure he didn’t get a concussion or something lately?”
“Youarea badass,” Duncan said, Joaquin nodding. “I watched you and Nami that day in the woods. Followed you. It’s one of the reasons I followed you. Because I could clearly see how scared you were, I knew you were humans, and yet you weren’t giving up. You had a plan, and you were doing your damnedest to execute it without any training, supplies, or tactical advantage. That’s the absolute definition of a badass.”
“I thought it was the definition of stupidity,” Ken snarked.
And that’s what finally made Beck laugh, sniffling back his tears. “Sorry, Duncan. I shouldn’t have dumped all that on you like that.”
He held up a hand. “No worries. I deserve it, and more.”
Beck took a breath. “No, you don’t. I don’t know what you went through, Duncan. And I guess tonight it finally hit me, all of it, about what I might go through one day if…” He wrapped his arms around Nami. “I wouldn’t want to live if I lost you, baby.”
