“If we knew that don’t you think I would have already mulched them and told you?”
“Oh. True.”
“The other thing is, like it or not, you’re going to need a little time off after giving birth. Having one more Enforcer on hand isn’t a bad thing.” He held up a hand when she started to argue. “You’re not a goddamned superhero, Dew! And no one expects you to be. Would you let yourself be normal for five goddamned minutes, please? Most people are ecstatic to take time off after having a baby. You’re acting like it’s punishment! You are literally the only one being hard on yourself about this. No one will think less of you for taking a month or more off to recover.”
“A fuckingmonth? No.Noway. I don’t have that kind of time!”
He rounded the desk to stand in front of her, his hands on her shoulders. “I’m not going to Prime you,” he said. “I’m asking you—no,beggingyou—as your brother,pleasetake time off after the baby’s born. Go easy on yourself. Let Ken and Badger and Da give you their opinions, and actually believe them when they tell you things, okay?”
“Why is this so important to you?”
“Because you’re my baby sister and I love you. Your position as Head Enforcer is safe. Not because of who you are, but because of how good you are at your job. And not a single damned person in this entire pack will begrudge you working behind a desk for a while. Instead of inventing things people aren’t thinking, much less saying, how about listening to your Pack Alpha, huh?”
“Do you plan to take time off from being Pack Alpha when your baby’s born?”
“Dewi, that’s not the same thing, and you know it. My job doesn’t stop because I’m a dad. It didn’t for Dad, and it didn’t for Duncan.”
“Really? Because my job doesn’t stop, either.”
“Yeah, but you have capable, qualified, trustworthy people who can fill in the gaps while you’re off your feet.” He smirked. “Unless you’re saying you want to step in as acting Pack Alpha while I take paternity leave and let Badger or someone fill in as Head Enforcer?”
She shook her head. “No fucking way. I already told you I don’t mind being the expanded pack council Alpha, but I don’t want the whole shebang. You and Trent get your asses busy and one of you make a Prime Alpha pup. I don’t want it.”
“Why?”
“Why?” She scoffed. “Because I don’t! I’d be stuck behind a desk most of the time doing boring, shitty paperwork. I have enough of that as it is.”
“By all rights, the next in line to rightfully be Pack Alpha is you. You’re my sister, and you’re a Prime.”
She shook her head again. “Nope.Not.It. Don’t want it, can’t make me. Da, or Badger, or any number of others would be better. I’m surprised you didn’t hand it over to Badger back then.”
“He didn’t want it, Dew. Dad was his best friend, and he was Dad’s second. But he knew he needed to focus on raising you. Trent was oldest but took a knee because he wasn’t a Prime.”
“You could have raised me and appointed Badger Pack Alpha. You’re a Prime.”
He sighed. “Dewi, that’s not how things worked out. But if you’re so eager to decline the promotion, why do you think Badger would be eager to take it when he’s already declined it?”
“Look, we’re getting into the weeds with hypotheticals, dude. You’re still a baby in shifter years. Practically a kid. You’ve got a lot of years ahead of you.”
“So did Dad.” Peyton perched on the edge of the desk. “If something ever happens to me, it should be you who takes over.”
She fought the urge to growl. “I barely have a handle on the shit I have to do, okay? I feel stressed as fuck and terrified of screwing up and costing an innocent person their life. I have enough to deal with. I can’t handle it magnified on a continental scale with logistics even more nightmarish than the ones I already deal with.”
“And this is why we want you to be able to take time off so we can see you, Dewi.” He sighed, looking haggard. “I want you and Ken to come visit. You can do your job from Idaho, okay? We have phones and video conferencing. And if Aisling’s here, that’s another set of hands, right?” He held her hands. “You’re my little sister, and I love you, and would youpleasecome visit us? Wemissyou.”
“What about Tamsin and Nami and everyone?”
“They can come too! They don’t have to stay as long as you if they don’t want to. At least give us two weeks. Please? You all can even drive if you want to, and Hamish said you can stop over in St. Louis at his place. It’s more than big enough.”
“Why didn’t you ask me first about Aisling?”
He took a breath. “Several reasons. Trevor asked me to evaluate her and if I found her skills more than adequate, to bring her over to watch Tamsin. He knows her family and trusts her. And she scented Faegan, knows what he looks like. And I have to declare Pack Alpha business for some of it. There are moving pieces that I can’t tell you about, and some that I won’t tell you about. Not yet. I am giving you everything that you need to do your job, and you have to trust me when I say it’s good enough for now. When I can tell you everything, I will. Or if situations change and you need more, I’ll tell you then. But I have my reasons for not telling you everything. Those reasons have nothing to do with how good you are at your job and everything about I need to make sure to silo certain information in a way that keeps people safest.”
She blinked. “Siloed?”
“Yeah. And the sooner you stop fighting me for every inch of damned ground and start accepting my word when I say your job is not in jeopardy, the easiermyjob will be. Please?”
She reached out to him to take her hand, and he did.
