That shouldn’t fill me with satisfaction, but it does.
I won’t even feel guilty about it, either.
Not this time.
CHAPTERTWENTY-SEVEN
NOW
Christmas morningI awaken before dawn and lie there for a few minutes while listening to the soft and easy way my men breathe in their sleep. As usually happens, Leo ended up in the middle last night with us both draped over him, sharing him.
I’m glad my parents are here but tonight, after they leave I’ll savor the alone time with my two men even more.
For today we can all enjoy a slow, lazy pace without Stella and Ellis intruding on our peace.
Part of me wonders if maybe I should buy land in Nebraska near Mom and Dad’s farm so we can build our house there and I can be close to them.
Then again, the more I think about that the more flaws I find with that plan. Instead of decreasing the level of chaos my parents are currently living through my immediate presence would only sustain it at an uncomfortable level for them.
I don’t want that. Especially since I’m looking forward to living the rest of my life out of the spotlight. For a while, at least.
And I don’t even know if they’ll want me living close to them after I come out.
Besides, it’d probably be easier for us to have a place not too far from Washington. Logistically easier for my eventual security detail to manage as well as keeping me close to where I’ll probably be making speeches or other appearances.
Not to mention, Jordan will likely take on political consulting jobs and he needs the ability to travel to and from Washington with a minimal amount of difficulty. Leo won’t return to the private sector but if he also takes on the occasional consulting gig he’ll need that flexibility, too.
“He’s thinkin’ too loud again, Daddy,” Jordan mumbles from the other side of the bed. It sounds like his face is buried in his pillow and his words prompt a throaty, sleepy chuckle from Leo. “Make himstaaaaahp.”
“Hmm.” Leo rolls toward me and wraps his arms around me. “You do have a habit of thinking loudly, pet.”
“How’d you even know I was awake?” I thought I was being quiet. I hadn’t even moved. Or so I believed.
They both laugh before Leo leans in and kisses me. “He’s adorable, isn’t he, boy?”
Jordan lifts his head. “Yes he is, Daddy. Very.” I hear the rustle of covers as Jordan sits up and kisses Leo. Then he finds me in the dark and kisses me. “Merry Christmas.”
I happily sigh. “Merry Christmas.” It is, too. Having them both here is a special treat.
“Light,” Jordan says. I close my eyes and bury my face against Leo’s chest as Jordan snaps on the lamp on his side of the bed. “I’ll go start the coffee. We should be out there before his parents are up and about.”
For just a moment the wild urge sweeps through me to throw back the covers, pull on Duck and some pants, and run go tell my parents the truth. To let the chips fall where they may.
Breathing through that urge I wait for it to abate as it always does.
There are too many solid, thoughtful reasons to wait and not nearly enough pros for me to go ahead and blow up my personal life on a melancholy-fueled whim.
When Leo’s hand cups my check I open my eyes to stare up into his brown gaze.
“Stop, pet,” he gently says.
A flash of heat fills my face. “Stop what?” I mutter, even though we both know the truth. His left eyebrow slowly arches as more warmth floods my cheeks.
“Come out only when you’re ready to,notwhen you think you ‘should.’ I don’t care if it’s today, or the day after your second term ends, or whenever. I don’t need a piece of paper, or public opinion, to know you love me.”
Meanwhile, Jordan has slipped out of bed and rounds the end to head to the bathroom. He leans over the footboard, grabs my right foot through the covers, and gives it a shake to get my attention.
I look down the bed at him.
