Stupid, yeah.
The point is now Jordan knows how I feel about him. We even have matching daith piercings in our ears, his in his right and mine in my left. Left leads, and right receives.
Jordan’s idea but he left the placement up to me, perhaps knowing I would choose the one that silently meant I owned him.
My tangible stake on him, the way Leo staked him by piercing his nipples.
Kissing Jordan is never boring. I slant my lips over his and crush them with the kind of kiss that makes him dig his heels into my ass, grind his hips against me, and softly moan into my mouth.
The kind of kiss that tells him no matter what, I’m here for him, too. Thick and thin.
Because I love him and I cannot do this without him.
Because I’m irrationally loyal and loving when it comes to this beautiful, sweet man.
On second thought, I don’t want to know if he and Leo have knowledge about Grace’s death. I’m at the most eight years away from what is now my biggest dream, and that’s to live a quiet life as a civilian with Leo and Jordan and enjoy my life out of the spotlight.
Grace is dead. Nothing will change that. Risking my men being snared in an investigation isn’t something I’m willing to leave to chance by stirring up questions.
Nipping my way along Jordan’s jaw and down his neck to the hollow of his throat, his morning stubble lightly rasps against my lips. I love this about him, too, that what little body hair he has is fine and soft. I lick his flesh and savor the sweetly salty taste of him.
Then, right in the center of his chest, I suck hard to leave a dark hickey Leo can’t possibly miss if he tries to sneak away alone with Jordan for a few minutes.
Jordan chuckles as I do it. “I wondered when and where you would mark me.”
I lift my head to check my handiwork. “That’s cute that you think it’s the only place I’m going to mark you.” I bite down hard on his left pec, just to the right of his pierced nipple. I chew on him, sucking and making him moan and squirm before I repeat it on his right pec.
Three dark purple marks that his undershirt and dress shirt will conceal, of course. I always have to be careful not to bite him too high on his neck, even though marks like that on him would lead to absolutely zero questions from anyone.
Onmyneck?
That’d be a serious problem when I don’t appear to have a partner.
I finally release his hands and work my way down his body and leave another large, dark hickey between his navel and cock, right over his happy trail. While I do his fingers plunge into my hair and he hangs on, squirming with need.
Only once I’m happy with that mark do I lean over, grab the lube and a condom from the nightstand drawer, and quickly prep him and me both. Sliding deep inside him makes both of us moan. His fingers wrap around my biceps and I brace my hands on the mattress on either side of his head, caging him. This way I can stare into his eyes.
“Love you,” I whisper.
And I do. I’ve loved him ever since that first night I met him in person.
He kneads my upper arms as I slowly stroke into him. “Love you, too, El. You know I do. Not going anywhere.”
I smile. “Wouldn’t let you. Already told you I’d send US Marshals after you if you tried.”
Yeah, I’m not kidding and he knows it.
His soft laugh chuffs free, quickly turning into a moan as I thrust hard and deep to distract him.
I know my guy. I know what he likes, and I hate the dark jealousy that roils my soul when I know he’s spending time with Leo and he’s not withme.
Yes, it’s fucking weird. Sue me. I’ve never claimed to be perfect. Far from it. And, no, I don’t feel jealous of what he and Leo do together when they’rewithme.
It’s only when I’m alone do I feel those old, familiar tendrils of inadequacy and loneliness and fear tighten around my soul.
Pausing my thrusts while deep inside him, I reach between us so I can wrap my fingers around Jordan’s erection and slowly stroke. From the way his eyes glaze over and how his lashes flutter I spot all the signs that, in this moment, he’s as far from Sir mode as I can take him. To drop him deeper requires Leo’s touch.
Another quirky irony in this situation—Jordan sinks me as hard and deep into subspace as Leo can in all the ways that matter, even if he doesn’t realize it. I think Jordan believes I need the hard pummeling Leo gives me. In some ways, I do need it.
