“No!” Mom says, sounding horrified. “I don’t want our friends thinking we’re bigots!”
I’m on my last nerve. “Thentellme what you want from me! Nothing I’ve ever done’s been good enough for the two of you, has it? I got blown up and lost my leg and Dad acts like that’s a character defect. I got elected to state office, to Congress, as VP, and now I’m POTUS and on my second term. Give me the fricking benchmark that will allow me tofinallyreceive your blessings and make you proud of me!”
I didn’t mean to yell. Leo reaches over and gently squeezes my hand as I slump back in my chair. “Sorry,” I mutter. “I love you both but it feels like I’m never good enough and never will be. Stella has always been the golden child despite how she’s always shit all over me and both of you.”
Mom looks stricken but it’s Dad who finally breaks the silence. “That’s not true,” he softly says. “Iamproud of you. And I was terrified when you were injured. I was angry that they sent you overseas and almost got you killed! I’ve always been proud of you, son.”
That’s all news to me and the long-overdue victory rings remarkably hollow. “Doesn’t feel like it, Dad.” I look him in the eyes. “Mom’s always covered for you and said you do, but honestly? I never felt it.”
“I don’t know what more you want me to tell you.”
“How about saying you support me? You don’t have to fly a rainbow flag outside your house, and you don’t have to agree with my politics. But how about looking me in the eyes and telling me you love me and are proud I’m your son and that you recognize I’ve worked my ass off all these years. How about, for once in my life, having the decency to say it to my face.”
Dad glances at Leo first then back to me. “I love you, and I’m proud you’re my son. Youarea hard worker, and I’vealwaystold people how proud I am of you.”
He removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. “It damn near killed me when we received word you’d been wounded. And I was so proud of you for how you didn’t just sit around pissing and moaning that you lost your leg. You went to work and got elected, and yes, I’m proud of you for that. Forallof it.” He finally meets my gaze again. “I’m sorry you didn’t feel that I was,” he quietly finishes. “I just thought you…knew.”
It’s damned near impossible to catch my breath. “No. I didn’t.”
Yep. I’m an idiot. Here is that moment I’ve always wanted and…
There’s no heavenly chorus trumpeting the revelation. No immediate celebration in my soul.
I’m still me and my problems and fears are still mine.
They always have been.
“Thank you, Dad,” I finally manage.
“Please don’t make us give speeches. We just want to live our life. Your sister always bugs us to go to events with her and Ellis and we keep telling her no.” He exchanges a glance with Mom. “We had no idea about her…abortion. Or the other stuff. We tried calling her last night and this morning and she won’t call us back. Ellis answered her phone the last time and said to stop calling, that she’ll talk when she’s ready.”
That makes me more than a little angry at Stella and Ellis.
Angrier.
I’ll let Leo have another “chat” with them.
“We don’t want to be used for grandstanding,” Mom adds. “We’re not props. We’re your parents.”
Leo squeezes my hand and holds on tight. “We don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he says. “I didn’t know he was going to propose last night. I didn’t even know he’d planned to try to do it earlier. I promise we’ll keep things as low-key as possible for you during the wedding and limit your exposure to the press and public. And I promise we’ll do whatever we can to protect your privacy.”
Mom nods. “We appreciate that.”
“And we’ll tell Stella to knock it off,” I grumble.
“Yes,that,” Leo says.
The rest of our meal is somewhat tense but before they leave they hug both of us. Real hugs that don’t feel stiff or forced.
“Wedolove you,” Mom says. “I wish you’d told us before now. We wouldn’t have disowned you. We’d never disown you.”
“But you aren’t happy I’m gay.”
Dad studies his feet for a moment. “Not really, no. But you’re our son and we love you.” He sighs. “I… I guess we hoped one day you’d get married and give us grandkids since Stella’s obviously not going to.” He finally gives me the hint of a smile. “Hell, I still loved you when I found out you were a damned Democrat, didn’t I? If I didn’t disown you overthat, what makes you think I’m going to disown you now?”
And like that my anger and pain dissolve. My parents are a product of their upbringing. I know that’s a bullshit excuse, but I love them.
I hug them again. “I’mreallysorry I didn’t warn you in advance. I love you both. I promise I’ll have my staff do whatever they can to protect your privacy as much as possible. And if any reporters bother you, just tell them to talk to my press office and have Secret Service kick them off the property.”
