“Elliot,” I scold, as I have countless times over the past four years. “Dude, seriously. We’re alone and among friends. And yes, I want yourhonestopinion.”
“Ilyhatesher.” He tips his head back, lacing his fingers together behind his neck and staring at the ceiling for a long moment. “I suppose if we ask Ily’s detail to make sure Stella is never around Ily, and not allowed to approach her, it might be safe.”
He looks at me again. “I’m not holding my wife back if she decides to give your sister a good old-fashioned smackdown. I’m not even sure Icouldhold her back. I’ll hold her purse for her, and her earrings, but that’s about it.”
“Are you ever going to tell me the full deets about what happened? I know Stella can be a shit. I’d really like to know what happened between them.” Even Jordan didn’t have the full details, which leads me to believe the info was passed to Leo by one of Ily’s detail. They wouldn’t have completely breached confidentiality but it makes sense they might have made a snide remark in passing about there being an “incident.”
Ciro glances from me to Jordan, to Casey-Marie, and then to Ken Windham, my campaign manager. “Doesn’t leave this room?”
“Doesn’t leave this room,” I say, leveling a pointed glare in Ken’s direction. I know I can trust him but I want to make sure to drive the point home,
Ciro leans forward, hands clasped and his elbows propped on his knees. “During the first campaign, Stella ended up with us on a three-day campaign swing through the Southeast—Georgia, Alabama, and Florida. I honestly was too busy juggling everything to pay any attention to Stella because I was shuttling back and forth between DC and the campaign trail for votes and work. I didn’t witness what happened and only know about it based on what Ilyana and a couple of her detail told me later.
“Apparently, once I left and they were heading for some women’s voter event, Stella started talking about how if we wanted to join a real church once the campaign was over, a powerful one, she could hook us up and it would mean big things for my career.
“Well, Ily’s no stranger to people trying to glom on to her and making huge promises in exchange for access, so she sort of brushed Stella off with a few vague non-promises. The only reason she didn’t tell Stella to get the fuck out of her face was due to the fact that Stella was your sister.
“But then, after the event, Stella cornered Ily in a room, along with three other woman, Stella’s friends. They started insisting Ily could join them right then and they would basically take over as her PR people, her comms shop, all of that. That they would staff her office of the Second Lady for her and handle everything. Including hooking her up with a stylist who would give her a complete makeover.”
Casey-Marie and Jordan both suck in sharp breaths and wince. “Ooooh.”
Oof. I’m a stupid white cis guy and even I know Ilyana Bardales is the last person in need of any assistance in the makeover department. The woman has mastered a cultured casual look, always perfectly put-together but in a down-to-earth kind of way. Real, accessible, and with an approval rating even higher than mine, in demographics from young to old, poor to rich, and from high school dropouts to people with advanced degrees.
In other words, everyone loves her because she’s a genuinely sweet woman, a devoted mom and wife, and a professional woman who uses her platform to fight for working families.
It’s a bonus that Ily’s fluent not only in Spanish but in Tagalog, as well. Something that’s come in very handy and helped cement her as a favorite among immigrant communities in California and elsewhere in the country.
Ciro nods. “Exactly. Ily spent a couple of years during post-grad working as co-host on-screen on two different game shows, while also modeling forVogue. You all know she needs absolutelyzerohelp in that department.”
Casey-Marie lets out a low whistle. “Didn’t she spend a few years taking martial arts?”
Ciro smirks. “She has a third-degree black belt in judo. She’s been taking it since elementary school. She put herself through undergrad with a scholarship competing in it. Her detail brings in a male agent several times a week to spar with her for workouts because, honestly? None of the female agents can keep up with her. They tried to provide female agent sparring partners in the beginning but Ily accidentally dislocated the woman’s shoulder and felt horrible about it.”
Jordan’s hand actually ends up covering his mouth in his shock. “Holy crap,” he mutters from behind it. “I’m honestly stunned your wife didn’t deck those women right there.”
“Me, too. Stella and her friends then told Ily they would bring in special private tutors for the kids so they could be ‘properly homeschooled’ and take over their education, freeing her to go to more church events.”
“Your wife has a PhD in elementary education,” I say. “I can imagine that went over as well as a turd in a punch bowl.”
He nods. “But that wasn’t the final straw.”
“It wasn’t?” we all parrot in shock.
“No. They said that they would guide Ily in ‘how to publicly present herself as a properly submissive and godly wife.’ And, of course, she’d have to publicly denounce my brother, his husband, and their children, and no longer associate with them.”
“Oy,” Casey-Marie says.
Ciro smiles. “Ily ginger-snapped and wentoffon them. She started screaming at them, which of course brought the detail running. I guess Ily literally threw one of her female agents in her anger to get at Stella and her cohorts. It took two male agents to hold Ily back while the others hustled Stella and her leeches out of there. Needless to say, Stella wasn’t allowed back on the airplane that afternoon. For her own safety. And Ily’s chief of staff never again allowed Stella at an event we were at.”
I slump back in my chair. “Dude, how could younothave said anything about this to me before now? Why didn’t you speak up?”
A shocked looking Ken speaks up. “Hell,Ididn’t even know about it.”
Ciro shrugs. “Ily asked me not to. She was worried what you might think about the incident. Besides Elliot, I was in the military and Ily canliterallykick my ass. I love my wife but I am equally parts terrorized by her and I’m completely good with that. I think that keeps things lively between us. But when she asks me not to say something, I keep my promise to her. I wouldn’t have said anything now except it’s obvious that, somehow, word leaked out anyway and I’d rather you have all the details from me.”
I look over at Jordan. “I want—”
“On it,” he says, grabbing his personal phone and making a note. “Ily’s favorite wine, a gorgeous bouquet of flowers, and a spa day appointment, including a personal masseuse, complete with babysitting. Followed by a special dinner for them, cooked in-house by a professional chef. On your personal card, of course.”
